Looking for common app essay feedback!

<p>Would anyone be willing to give me some feedback? The topic is the one where is asks "given yor personal background/experiences, describe how you can contribute to a college's diversity" (something like that, it's choice nmber 5). You can be as ruthless/nice as you want!</p>

<p>sure PM it to me, I have credentials (check my profile).</p>

<p>send it over.</p>

<p>I just pm'ed it to you two, thanks for reading it!</p>

<p>I'm happy to take a look.</p>

<p>Thanks, I just sent it to you :]</p>

<p>anyone else?</p>