<p>a story on how a bill becomes a law:</p>
<p>Senator Frodo Baggins was enjoying an especially delightful cup of tea when he was so rudely, and abruptly interrupted by none other than Speaker of the House: Gandalf. Gandalf possessed a bill; he was the bills sponsor. He needed young Frodo to carry this bill through the treacherous forests of the senate and the rugged mountains of committees he knew that despite the Hobbits modicum size he possessed a heart as strong as magnesium re-enforced steel alloy. The young hobbit was hesitant: Gandalf Ive spent my life in the Shire, cant you please just use your magic to pass the bill.
With a hearty laugh Gandalf replied: Frodo, I have many years of magical training, but no magic is strong enough to bypass the American legislative system!
Deep down Frodo knew he was the only one that could carry the bill to the fires of mount doom the presidents desk. He began his quest.</p>
<p>Gandalf and Frodo headed into the black forest. Even the bravest of elvish warriors fear the journey to the center of the forest where the elusive Hopper is located. They needed to drop off the bill and to meet with the Officer of the Senate. The other most powerful wizard of middle congress.<br>
Senator Sauruman is a most wise and noble wizard, He will decide which committees to put the bill in (for the senate). I will decide for the House.
Are you sure we should trust this Sauruman guy? His name sounds a lot like Sauron; our arch-nemesis asked Frodo.
Gandalf replied: No need to be a player hater, me and Sauruman are like best buddies, we are cool.
After that they fought a lot of battles with many mystic and super evil creatures, and hid from the black riders and what not, finally at long last Frodo reached the hopper and deposited the bill. </p>
<p>Saurumon, my most favoritest of homies! Gandalf enthused as he saw Saurumon.
Saurumon (unlike in the movie) was extremely cooperative; he referred the bill to several committees.<br>
I have forwarded you bill to the ways and means committee, they will decide whether we have the money for your bill. Sauruman said. Every bill must pass through several different committees before making its way to the floor.
As Gandalf and Frodo exited Frodo thought to himself: I dont trust this Sauruman guy, he has the silky smooth hair of a liar </p>
<p>Through the treacherous alpine peaks of Kingdom Haas they traveled, down the ferriferous, hellish and really evil and bad canyons of Super death Cavern they hiked. Finally Frodo saw the Orcs marching in the distant : The ways and means committee. Gandalf remarked: It will be a tough battle but once you pass through the committee of ways and means you can make the journey to the Senate floor in 3 days. As Gandalf uttered these words he randomly fell off a cliff, uttered an inspirational quote and then was eaten by a gigantic monster. Dont worry though he will magically re-appear later in the book. Later on Frodo single handedly defeated the Orcs.
Frodo cried, he really missed Gandalf. He was lonely but then magically a handsome metrosexual Elf played by Orlando Bloom appeared. The elf comforted Frodo: Gandalf sent me an e-mail right before he fell off that cliff, he told me we must now move on through terrain more rugged and treacherous than Aragorns beard stubble, we must go to the mark-up session! They met a nice little character named Gollum. Gollum was obsessed with the bill, he along with others studied the bill and made sure every little sentence was perfect. Like in the movie Gollum was actually quite helpful ( so it seemed). It turns out Gollum pigeon-holed the bill! That means he deferred it indefinitely. </p>
<p>Luckily the metrosexual Elf possessed skills a bit more useful than shooting those wimpy arrows. He filed a discharge petition and was able to get the bill back. They then beat up Gollum and got the bill through to the calender where it was put on a list for floor debate. Frodo and the metrosexual Elf played by Orlando Bloom prepared for the battle by giving each other pedicures. The Elf knew that well trimmed toenails are essential for the heated debate that goes on at the floor.</p>
<p>Rise and shine said Legolas (yes the metrosexual elf). Ive cooked some scrambled eggs to prepare us for battle. They ate the eggs and headed to the battlefield. The battle was intense, it had a lot of monsters and elephants and other magical creatures. It was so intense that it cannot be described in the scope of this book. The first part of the battle took place in the conference committee. The most elite warriors of the House and Senate battled until they came into agreement upon one version of the bill. Finally they took it to the floor. Frodo and Legolas watched as Senators walked through the tellers to vote. The bill was passed. Frodo shed a tear as he realized that he was a now just a step away from accomplishing the task Gandalf had sent him for. He would have been proud of you said Legolas as he put an arm around Frodo in a semi-platonic manner. </p>
<p>Frodo made his way to the fires of mount doom presidents desk. He dropped the bill on the desk. He was nervous, it felt so humid, as if a humidifier was turned on. But really it was just because he was nervous. He saw the president lift up his pen. His heart sank as the president scribbled the most vile four letter word of all : VETO. Frodo was in a rage, he had to do something, he had to save Gandalfs legacy. Im calling Chuck, Frodo said. Legolas was wise and stopped him: Even Chuck Norris cannot by-pass the legislative process, we need to get a 2/3 vote from both houses to override the veto!.</p>
<p>They knew it would be hard, but Frodo and Legolas knew they could do it. The battle began, they needed 2/3 of each house. It seemed impossible. Luckily Gandalf appeared right at that moment. It turns out Gandalf was not eaten by a monster, but by Chuck Norris. Chuck had grabbed Gandalf to protect him from the Orcs. The Senators and Congressmen cowered at the sight of both Chuck and Gandalf and they all voted to override the Veto! The battle was won. Oh and the battle was very Epic, and had a lot monsters and elephants etc. They returned to the Shire, Frodo knew he needed to reflect upon his journey. He wrote this book.</p>