I’m a Junior in high school located in California. I went to the same high school for my first two years and over there people used to call me “weird” for being different than them. An event caused me to transfer to another school, which was more the rest of staff trying to remove me from the institution. Ever since coming to my new school months ago, I’ve felt less motivated to try in my classes as I felt they essentially took something from me prematurely which was my right to graduate from there as I always did my work and handled my business. I did not control what others thought so it made no sense to me that I was blamed for a situation that escalated from behavior that was not within my control.
I wanted to go to UCLA but my grades average between Bs and Cs and I have a GPA that is somewhere past 3.0. I don’t have any extracurricular activities to attribute to myself, which was due to my wish to dedicate my time to focusing on my grades and since I was more prone to read, write or draw as opposed to pick up a ball. It just seems life is kind of passing me by and I’m not going on with much purpose education wise. Anytime I write something or do anything I feel is productive that is not school related I just get taken aback by doing it when I wonder if it will benefit me financially.
I also was told that the majority of high school students will first attend community college and that seems to be the only thing that is close that will take me, but it still bothers me because I know that others will still look down on me for it and I know that I will feel at the end of the two years that I have wasted a great deal of time if I can still not go to UCLA or UC Berkeley or Yale or Harvard or any of the other schools that once appeared in my fantasies of achieving greatness.
I’m really just in a rut over all of this. Nothing seems to be going my way and it just feels like a waste of time to even bother trying in school anymore right now.