<p>Oh my, faline, that is so difficult. Sorry for your loss as well. There is so much to do when one passes away-- adding to the care of another loved on as an additional responsibility is tough. I’ve been managing all my dads stuff, with the assistance of a geriatric case manager and a caregiver, long distance, for 7 years (almost to the day). I HIGHLY recommend gettig a case manager if you need the help. It really made an impossible task easier. </p>
<p>And you are so right, milk and sugar-- people can be amazingly crass. A very good friend (who is one of my s’s godmothers) left me a message that she had just looked at fb and wanted to know what was going on (if she read fb she knew what was going on). I then told her that shiva ws tonight (and she happens to be more religious than we are). As an aside, she just had a 60th bday party and friends collected $ for her, as she is divorced and tight on funds. We were VERY generous and she was apparently told what we gave (we were pooling the $$ so she didnt know who gave $5 and who gave $500). Anyway, when I told her shivah was tonight, she responded “oh, I have tickets to the Jewish Film Festival”. She didnt ask if I needed anything, who was coordinating the shivah, etc…</p>
<p>jym – I hope your life settles just a little bit, and that you can let some of your good friends step up and help. Some people just do not have silver tongues. </p>
<p>faline – wow. Just figuring out caregiving when the primary caregiver dies is a challenge. I’d second jym’s suggestion of a geriatric care manager. I didn’t find out about that early enough, and I wish I had. [National</a> Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers](<a href=“http://www.caremanager.org/]National”>http://www.caremanager.org/)</p>
<p>Jym my friend, I am sorry for your loss. This has been a long journey. God bless your day as he rests in eternal peace. Sending prayer to provide comfort to you and yours in your hour of bereavement.</p>
<p>Thank you ever so much, Sybbs. That means the world to me. You are a gem.
My DS’s did take a train ride into NYC Friday night to see some college friends of older s. They came back Sat morning, and apparently stopped at Juniors to grab something to eat. It gave me fond memories of our first NYC meet-up, and especially of you. I’ll never forget that huge bear hug you gave me-- when at first I didnt know who you were! But that is one of my fondest memories of that meet-up. Thank you for that.</p>