For folks who don’t know that it is illegal to put non postage-paid stuff in mailboxes:
https://about.usps.com/news/state-releases/tx/2010/tx_2010_0909.htm
Well, where I grew up outside doors usually have little slots where you can drop something in and mailboxes. We’re nitpicking right now. Regardless, imo it wasn’t your business to tattletale and tell his mom about something you found in his wallet. If it was a lost phone and you unlocked it to find the owners identity and saw pictures of a teenager drinking, would you tell too? Returning the wallet was a good deed, absolutely. But beyond that, it’s just being nosy and unnecessarily invasive. It’s not like you found a forged passport (at which point, ofc you go to the police).
@calicash, whether or not anyone agrees with the laws as they are written, possessing a “fake ID” is in fact illegal and a serious crime in most places. Also, whether or not people choose to agree with you, suggesting folks break the law by putting things into mailboxes is not a persuasive way to get others to adopt your viewpoint.
Telling a concerned adult that their child has an illegal document in his/her possession is not “tattletale,” it is what responsible adults do because they care and are concerned. As others have stated, fake IDs can be used for a lot of different things–ID theft, purchasing guns, purchasing alcohol or other things. Fake IDs are illegal documents, even if they are sadly easy to obtain in some circles.
We’re approaching OT. While I could perhaps see lowering the drinking age a year or two, I have absolutely no desire to see bars start letting in high school kids.
I want to thank you all for helping me think through this situation. Your responses have given me much to think about and given this kids age I think I made the right call. Some people have mentioned possibly returning the wallet without the fake ID but I just couldn’t do that, it’s not my property even if it’s illegal, I have no right to take it. That would be stealing, heck for all I know the dad could have got the fake ID for the kid! Had I stumbled upon drugs while trying to figure out the contact info of the owner I’d do the same, return them but mention them to the parent. Perhaps the parent is ok with certain drugs, perhaps not but I’d feel I’d need to mention them if I saw them. Parents can do what they like with that information.
As for the hypothetical cell phone @CaliCash mentioned, I don’t know how videos would just pop up while looking for the owners info but if they some how did and I saw violence, rape, child porn - Hell Ya! I’d tell the parents, maybe the police too, depending. If I saw a kid with a beer, no, how would I know that a parent didn’t give their kid that drink? TX has some crazy laws one of which parents can give their minor children alcohol, yes - even in a bar a parent can order a drink for their child. Waitstaff has to give the drink to the parent but after that it’s legal for the parent to give the drink to their kid.
No, I would not search a phone for pictures and video, like I didn’t search this kids wallet looking for anything other local contact info that would allow me to return it to it’s owner. His fake OOS ID was in front with the real ID buried behind other cards. If his real ID was in front I would have been able to return it without ever knowing he had a fake ID. I don’t think this is “being nosy and unnecessarily invasive.”
@HIMom Obviously I didn’t know that putting it in the mailbox would be illegal. I would imagine a sizeable amount of people don’t know that. Seeing the fake isn’t invasive. Telling the parents about it is. Possession of a fake ID is rarely prosecuted as a serious crime. And if anyone actually fears that this teen is using the fake to buy guns and not just a couple of beers, only telling his mother and not going to the authorities is a deriliction of duty.
Someone loses a wallet, once you figure out the identity of the person, return it. I see no reason to tattletale about the fake other than just wanting to insert yourself in some family drama. Now in retrospect, OP is beginning to have some doubt and is feeling bad for the kid. That doesn’t happen if you don’t insert yourself into what was probably very annoying, sucky situation to begin with. You just compounded it for what I deem to be a non-issue (16 year olds drinking). Now if originally there was a fear that the teen would be using the ID to buy weapons, then of course you get involved. But if you’re inserting yourself because you’re worried about a 16 year old drinking, it’s crossing a line when 16 is the status quo in many countries.
Parents will probably have a much different reaction than non-parents to this dilemna. And among parents there are going to be different reactions. Frequently I ask myself, “what would I want someone to do if this were my kid?” I’m guessing that is exactly what 3scoutsmom did and, really, it seems to me the best any of us can ever do.
CaliCash: your answer to the quesiton may or may not be different 20 or 30 years from now. Mine is different from when I was in my 20s. That doesn’t mean I’m right now. I don’t know if I even believe in a right answer here.
@3scoutsmom , these threads are always fascinating glimpses into the world view of others.
I gather that post #112 wasn’t meant to insult you–while insulting you 
--but it astonishes me. Similarly, post #114 and the assumptions it reveals.
On the other hand, I’m sure my views are equally astonishing to others. B-)
I continue to think your solution was a good one.
@Consolation - as the author of post #112, you are correct there was no intention of insulting anyone, especially @3scoutsmom. I sincerely hope it was not taken that way. I think I have been clear that I admire and support her decision to return it directly, and in response to her WWYD question, I pointed out how I might have handled it - but our situations are not the same. It would be easier and quicker for me to drop it off at the local high school, and my relationship with the principal has always been good. It sounds like logistically, it would have been harder for OP to do this.
In my personal life, I have had to deal with a lot of racism/classism, particularly in my own community. I volunteer in our local town food pantry, as well as the family resource center in the inner city. I know there are many good people in both organizations, but lets just say there are some people in my local town who are happier to simply write a check to help, rather than to help in person. I am blessed that I have been able to help in both places. I am often the only white person in the city organization, and there are some clients who are hesitant/reluctant to accept my help, so it certainly goes both ways. I see this every week. My personal history convinces me that some people would not have gone out of their way to return a lost wallet and fake ID if the person who lost it was from “the other side of the tracks.” Is this what astonishes you?
Mom is the one who opens up the mailbox around here. I don’t know what my kids’ wallets look like. So the result would have been the same - unless of course the mailman stole the wallet before I got around to checking the mail.e (I do know that only mail is supposed to go in mailboxes, but when I pass our the neighborhood association flyer, I don’t go up to the slot in the door if someone has a mailbox on the street. I think it’s a dumb law. If I get caught, of course I’ll take the consequences.)
It is actually a good law - do you want your mailbox stuffed with all sorts of commercial and religious solicitations? Having to pay postage for that crap works as a good deterrent.
^^^this is why in our area mailboxes are locked and only the mailman and the mailbox owners have the key. I get enough crud stuck in my door I can’t imagine what it would be like if someone could access the neghborhood mail box kiosk and spam all the mailboxes at once. YUCK!
I put all sorts of things in the mailbox of one of my brothers who lives a few miles from me. Birthday gifts, items they may have left at my home and an occasional bottle of wine I think he might like. I always do it after the mail delivery though knowing he will retrieve it when he comes home from work that night.
This tragic story (http://www.wusa9.com/news/local/maryland/no-charges-to-be-filed-in-bethesda-teens-death/506512515) about a missing high school senior who later was found dead was all over the local news here in the DC area shortly before Christmas. This morning, a follow up story announced there would be no charges against the homeowners where the party occurred.
Why is the article relevant to this thread? The last sentence of the article immediately made me think of this thread.
“They also said Sepehri had two fake ID’s on him when he was found.”
@BunsenBurner Actually I’d rather that stuff was in my mailbox, instead they stick it in the screen door handle so that everyone can see I’m not home. 
I still think you did exactly the right thing, 3scoutsmom.
I forgot to add, @3scoutsmom, I’m not sure what I would have done in the same situation. However, as the mom of a 17 y/o teenage boy (and three other teenagers), I would want to know if my kid had a fake ID and I would not approve. Had you come to my door with my son’s wallet and made me aware there was a fake ID inside, I would be very appreciative.
From what I understand, they are easy to obtain in ALL circles. You can order them online. There is one particular group/entity that advertises itself as the “guy” for fake IDs. Claim is their country of origin sells the printers, paper, laminating supplies, etc. to state DMVs. So the licenses they print look just the same as the states. Including a barcode that scans. Prices are $100 for two (you can get one for a friend or get two for yourself in-case the first one is confiscated). Site tells you how to order, pay and how it will be shipped.
From what I understand in talking with a few college kids (and I know of kids (never having actually seen one in person) from Ivies down to state directionals who have IDs that are not their own), using them near campus isn’t typically a problem. Bars/restaurants/stores understand that near campuses, 60-75% of the kids there are not old enough to legally drink so the increased business is viewed as a plus. Some locations near campus are more restrictive than others. Kids learn pretty quickly which ones.
Move away from campus and success will diminish. Makes sense to me as you move further from campus, age of customer base likely increases and those older customers likely don’t want to hang out with a bunch of college aged kids (under 21 or not).
Again this is just what I hear from college kids.
I always chuckle when I see/hear a parent say something to the effect that all my kids’ friends have one but not my kid. That may well be the case but seems to me the odds are against it.
I think the drinking age doesn’t make a lot of sense. Old enough to do pretty much everything but not legally have a drink. What that does is push drinking underground and makes it something of a forbidden fruit (which increases its appeal to many). Rather than having 18-20 year olds drinking openly where there can be some level of supervision (bartenders who stop serving, bouncers who call cabs, etc), they drink behind closed doors with none. And often people cite reduced drunk driving deaths, but cars are safer now and drunk driving is taken much more seriously. When I was a kid in the 70s, people joked about it. The police would just drive you home and let you sleep it off rather than a ticket, suspended license, jail time, etc.
As for the OP, I don’t really have a strong opinion. Though I can’t say I disagree with what was done. Kid as noted was in high school not college. Under parents control at that point. Not sure what I would have done. In a parking lot, I likely turn it into someone in a business/entity there. In the street in a subdivision, tougher to handle like that.
This is just nuts. Besides the inanity of trying to return illegal items to their “rightful owner”, you could be taking a significant risk in transporting and possessing the drugs.
Whether anyone agrees or not, the drinking age is 21, not 17. This young person was 17 and in HS, well under the legal age and under the custody of his parents. I believe OP did the correct and responsible thing. Just because the law is not necessarily followed does not mean a blind eye should be turned toward it and that there aren’t serious consequences for the person caught in possession of it. There ARE prosecutions for folks in possession of fake IDs as it IS illegal.
If I was the parent of this young man, I’d be grateful if a kind stranger returned my child’s wallet and let me know if they found a fake ID on the top of it with the real ID buried underneath. It would then be something I could discuss with my spouse and child. I would not destroy or confiscate someone else’s property (fake license) or involve the school as I don’t really see this as a school matter.