As a senior year in highschool, my son (4.0 GPA, Top 10 Graduating Class, good ACT score) got accepted for a Mechanical Engineering degree into a few good public universities in our state. We felt really proud! However, COVID hit and we as a family decided that he will earn his 2 years in a community college to save money. Sadly, as an incoming transfer student, he got denied at his target schools because of his low GPA (3.3). Instead, he got accepted in two state universities (his safeties). He said that at that time, he was not motivated to earn better grades because of the shameful experience of going to a “community college” over a top-ranked university. Now, he regrets it. I love my son but as a parent, I feel deeply disappointed because he wasted his chance to get into a good university. Am I reacting irrationally? If everything goes as planned, he will have 2-3 more years to earn his degree at our local state university. This hurts but I know God has a plan.
He’s fine. Engineering is tough regardless where you take it. I would say 3.3 is more normal then not for engineering. You can’t change the past either. If he wants to be an engineer then let him go do that. Being active on campus and involved is important for internships /jobs.
Good luck.
When you say that you “as a family” made the decision for him to stay home and attend community college, did that decision include your son, or did he stay home unwillingly? If he bought into the decision, then why was he ashamed?
I can understand that both you and your son are disappointed. I think, though, that this is a situation where all you can do is step back and let him own the outcome. His life isn’t ruined; he can still get an engineering degree from a reputable school, even if it’s not at the level of prestige of his initial acceptances.
As you’ve already seen, shame does not improve performance. So the biggest thing to avoid is adding more shame. Disappointment is fine (though better if it’s his rather than yours), but shame is counterproductive. He can still move forward and do well. Don’t allow him to feel that you won’t be able to be proud, no matter what he does, because he won’t graduate from a “better” school. Send the message that he can still be successful, and that persevering in the face of setbacks is just as much reason to be proud as winning all the prizes on the first try.
Was starting at community college primarily his choice, or yours?
Many state universities are good for Engineering -he should check that both programs are ABET accredited and look into career services, co-op&internship support, etc. Does he have a preference among his 2 choices?
A 3.3 for Engineering is actually quite good. 
However some universities do not take many transfers and some may favor lateral transfers (ie., 4y to 4y) though UCs favor CA CCs.
Some universities are still accepting applications - foe instance, Alfred in NYS has a nationally known program in ceramics engineering (highly competitive) as well as glass engineering and materials engineering… it is still taking transfer applications, still has FA&Housing.
Contact: Kyla Whannell whannell@alfred.edu
Not sure if they’re better than his current choices, but Cal Poly Humboldt, ASU, Marquette are still taking apps too.
https://engineering.humboldt.edu/
To see the whole list:
Yes, you are acting irrationally - especially if he’s seeking a degree in MECHE.
He needs to get into a school that is ABET accredited.
Whether at Michigan or Western Michigan, he’ll end up working with the same people, likely at a similar salary if at the same company.
The where, in most cases for MechE, isn’t relevant.
My kid chose a safety over a top tier program - and guess what - works with kids from those schools and other top schools as well as schools much lower in pedigree. Why? ABET accreditation is what’s required.
So your son will be fine - and there is zero shameful about going to a CC. He likely saved money - many had poor COVID experiences and didn’t see value in their studies.
But if he’s not motivated - that’s a bigger issue - and using that he went to a CC is an excuse.
Engineering is hard - and if he’s not motivated, he’s not going to make it at a bigger school.
Rather than make excuses, go into a four year school excited, inspired, and he’ll come out with a great degree and hopefully a great job.
But it’s up to him.
But nothing was wasted - including money - and plenty of opportunity lies ahead.
Good luck to him.
To me, as a parent of a college student, I think our most important role at this stage in the game is encourage encourage encourage. Tell him every day how proud you are, talk up the new university, discuss the opportunities and career he is going to have. Just be his soft place to land. I am sure he is already disappointed and feels a little hopeless. Mom and Dad can be the one to shine new hope on the situation and this is an opportunity you have to show him how proud you are of HIM, and that isn’t based on what schools he got into. He is going to be fine, and you will have a lot of influence on whether he can go into this new school with a positive light or a negative one.
Don’t be disappointed. First off the university is only the vehicle. Your son is the driver. What’s important is that he apply himself now. Don’t dwell on the name of the school only the courses taken and how to learn the subject matter most affectively. Most ABET accredited programs are going to be very similar and rigorous. The outcomes are those of the student not the university. My D was a Chem E major at Purdue University. A school considered strong in engineering. She did a 5 term coop. During that coop there were engineering students from the University of Cincinnati, U of Louisville, and other even smaller state schools. When they graduated all of them got similar jobs with top Chemical companies. I’d say the coop experience had far more to do with their success than the school they attended. It was hard work but worth it. Good luck to your son.