<p>I had a ladies luncheon with a woman I have known for years but see two or three times a year. She is very scattered but can be very kind. In the course of the meal (yes the salads were in front of us) she began a discourse about her upcoming colonoscopy.</p>
<p>As she began I asked her to hold this until after lunch. (This was not the…“I’m having a procedure and I’m scared”…It was the graphic part.</p>
<p>I asked her if we could hold this until after eating and she became offended. She continued talking and I asked her REALLY nicely to wait…</p>
<p>She was offended. Very very offended. I tuned her out and stopped eating.</p>
<p>Opinions please…I am not flummoxed easily, but a colonoscopy as luncheon (or dinner or cocktail) conversation seems at best inappropriate and, at worst disgusting. Is this the new acceptable?</p>
<p>I don’t believe so. I have noticed that some people don’t take hints well, and keep talking about something stomach churning, despite pleas to change the subject, at which time I excuse myself to use the restroom and when I come back the topic has changed.</p>
<p>I think a pleasant lunch should not include such conversation, especially during the actually lunching part. and what about a colonoscopy is really that fascinating? 
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<p>I have experienced a similar frustration when going out with a group of women friends for a fun night out where they start sharing their teen’s psychiatric symptoms, medications, emotional issues, etc. First it’s not the right time, of course we all need to vent and share personal concerns with friends, but I think that’s appropriate one on one, and I prefer to keep a fun evening out, well, fun. Also they share too much personal detail about their children’s lives that their kids likely would prefer to be treated more privately.</p>
<p>As a physician I noticed how readily we could discuss topics others couldn’t during meals, starting with medical school. But you two were not in this situation. This lady was out of line. You, not she, has the right to be offended. GI topics like this are along the lines of discussing any gross bodily function- not acceptable unless all parties wish for it. Among physicians I can see surgeons, gastroenterologists and some others being fine but many other physicians don’t want the graphic thoughts at any time, like most nonmedical professionals. </p>
<p>Any topic is unacceptable if both parties do not wish to discuss the subject- it can be any field. Leaving for the restroom is a great idea in a group, hard to pull off with just two people. If this “destroys” your friendship it is no loss, you two are no longer on the same page. Try to get this out of your brain and don’t waste time thinking about it. A rare lunch out with someone ought to be frivolous, not a chance to unload about unpleasantness.</p>
<p>Maybe because I have a lot of really older women friends (from a charity group), but I guess I’m used to luncheon topics being about their latest medical misadventures, or who the latest casualty is. Get used to it, it only gets worse :(.</p>
<p>A big thank you to all. I know the world has changed (and I’m not THAT old) but there some areas (at least in my mind) which aren’t for public consumption. </p>
<p>Happily we don’t see each other often (and I think that meetings will be even less frequent) …</p>