Lying on common app

Not proud to post this at all but it will relieve some anxiety I suppose
I submitted a lie on common app about awards I got… when in fact I did not get those awards
sure I attended the competation but was placed in 4th, out of 100 other contestants… but in the common app I placed 2nd.
scared about the chances of that lie being found out… and I could have just been honest about the actual reward received. but I felt like a “runner-up” was shameful. I should have reached the podium but I didn’t…
anyways, I also didn’t get into my ed which is fine I guess.

I feel bad for the letters of reccomendations I got…
ugh I wasted everyone’s time with that…

anyways im trying to think, ah yes. When it comes to the hours portion on the common app I didn’t rlly know yk? I just based it off my google calendar. I was honest there but I rlly dont know how accurate it is…
oh and then I lied about this internship. So I did the internship but I never explained that I didn’t fully complete it bc of health reasons…

anyways, also for the internship I was lucky to get it bc of good connections I had. anyways, but for some reason I wrote that the internship was done through a program… I wasn’t even apart of lol!!
I still did the exact internship as part of said program tho, but had to stop halfway bc of health related issues.
IDKK, my life during the summer was crazy.

I dont know how bad these lies are… and im not too ashamed of them because I actually did do what I said I did. the internship when I actually did do but I did it through more of a shadowing thing vs an actual paid internship. It is hard where I am at 16 to find someone to give me an internship…

so I was very fortunate to have had the experience I had even if it wasn’t a ~formal program internship~ thing as I wrote on my common app. I also felt embarrassed to write to colleges about why the internship was so short… idk there were things I bended the truth about for sure.

Im not sure how to go about these lies, the hours, the summer program I wasn’t apart of, and the 2nd place award. Were not true… and I guess that does count as lying, omg I keep repeating myself.

I guess I can learn from this and will be more honest in the future. for ever read this far, hope u health and wellness. also I need advice on how to be more honest in applications or interviews? thanks, I have a problem where lying just comes natural to me and im trying to notice that and work on it thanks :slight_smile:

You can edit the Common App to remove your lies before you apply to other schools. And yes: They are lies. You have misrepresented yourself and the competitions and programs you participated in. As a former admissions counselor for a SLAC, we DO check/verify what we can using a variety of sources, and any lies or blatant exaggerations found on the application generally did not end well for the student. Lying like this is a very serious offense in academic environments and would go against the Student Handbook in many places.

As for pathological or compulsive lying, I would strongly suggest finding counseling and other psychological resources. I applaud the fact that you recognize your problem, and I encourage you on your path toward healing and improving.

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You seem to understand these sorts of deceptions are unlikely to actually help you, and at least two of them could potentially be very harmful (the provable lies about your placement in that competition and your participation in a certain internship program).

The root cause of this behavior appears to be that you feel a lot of shame about admitting what you see as failures or deficiencies. Obviously this is not the sort of problem that strangers on the Internet are likely to be able to comprehensively solve for you.

But what I can say with confidence is that people like college admissions officers are not in fact judging you in the way that you appear to be judging yourself. They will not compare the awards you actually receive to the awards you think you should have been able to get. They will not care what process led to you having an interesting internship. And so on.

So while I recognize this is easier said than done, you need to be less self-critical. Do things you enjoy or otherwise find rewarding. Do them enthusiastically. Do not worry about what you do not do or achieve. Be confident that if you do things enthusiastically, for your own reasons, you have done the right thing for your own personal path.

And recognize you are just a kid. You are not supposed to be a finished product by now–indeed, that would be tragic. You are actually supposed to be just part of the way into the long, hopefully never-ending, process of developing as a person.

As a final piece of advice, next time you are feeling shame and are tempted to cover it up with a lie, I suggest literally walking away. Like, take a brisk walk, preferably outdoors. Get your blood pumping a bit, your breathing a bit deeper–nothing too strenuous, but a little more exertion than a casual stroll. This will actually trigger brain chemical changes that will very likely help. It will calm your anxiety, make you feel more confident, and help you remember the greater perspective.

And then go back and confidently put down the truth. Because the truth is you have nothing to be ashamed about.

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The OP has received appropriate advice. As their questions are answered I am closing the thread.

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