<h2>So I applied to seven colleges: Colgate University, Middlebury College, Boston University, Uni. of New Hampshire, Uni. of Rhode Island, Uni. of Mass. Amherst and Salve Regina. So far I’ve gotten into the last four but haven’t heard back from Colgate, Middlebury or BU and because of the wait I’ve started second guessing everything I’ve put on my applications…If any of you would take a look at my essay I’d appreciate it. </h2>
<p>The other day I came to the realization that I am a loser. I was sitting on the sofa in my living room, my mom on the other end of the couch, and we were watching The Titanic, a household favorite, on a Friday night. Both of us were in our pajamas, me in an oversized t-shirt and shorts and my mom in a floral nightgown. In between us was a plate of crackers and a portable phone that began to ring while Leonardo DiCaprio crowed at the sight of dolphins. I answered the phone while pressing pause and was asked by the friend on the line to go out to dinner. I respectfully, but hurriedly, declined, hung up, pressed play and rejoined my mom in watching the old classic. I decided that it was time to face facts. </p>
<p>I am and likely always will be a loser. I do not find myself wincing at the term or feeling offended when I am called by this name. I chose it as much as it chose me. The terms geek and nerd for awhile were also possibilities, but the connotation of computer wiz and studiousness attached to them turned me off and simply there was only the name loser left. I find it interesting to call myself by this name in the presence of those who do not know me well, as it often sparks strong reactions. Primarily people deny it. You are not a loser! is said vehemently in protest to my self-proclaimed title. I think it offends them more than it does me. But still others are unsure of what to say and only laugh, mostly in a way that says Dont be silly, but others also say, Yeah. I know, but thats okay. Nevertheless, as I stand on my soapbox of loser-dom and declare my title, I am proud. </p>
<p>Loser is an accurate word, one which cuts to the core of who I am. To me, loser does not mean one who has lost, or one who is going nowhere, but rather one who, even with effort, cannot enjoy the habits of normalcy. I find myself instead enjoying much of what the majority does not. As an out-ed loser I admit to many things. I like to hang out with my mother while watching sappy movies. I enjoy acting in strange ways. I love blatant honesty. I have fun dancing badly and in public. And sometimes I would prefer to stay home. Despite these behaviors I like to think that most people are not repulsed or annoyed by my presence. Sometimes I like to call some of those who voluntarily spend time around me friendsI hope I do not assume. But while I call myself this in honesty and in pride there are many who use the name negatively and on those who do not meet the terms requirements. </p>
<p>Thats the thing. It is the name I have given myself and the name that I use, but it will always have adverse affects. It must, for speaking frankly always does. Once I have announced myself in this way assumptions begin. Often people believe I give myself the title as a way of setting the bar low. If I say at the beginning of an acquaintanceship that I am not normal then there will be no time for the other party to decide for themselves. But this is not what my name is for. It is not to dissuade others from knowing me, but rather a declaration that I am who I am and its all I can be. In fact, after discussing this topic with my younger brother, he summed it up very neatly. Yeah, he said agreeably, youre such a loser that youre going to love college. I think, for once, he was right.</p>