I figured since it is the start of the process for many parents, that it might be good to have a thread on this topic, that can be basically about experience with the music world and what people have experienced. It should be a community thread, and hopefully people will share their own journeys with their kids or from kids who went through music and what they did. For those new to the board, I am the parent of someone who is a professional working classical musician in chamber music (violin). As parents my wife and I knew nothing about the music world, and learned as we went, and even then lot of this comes down to YMMV, which is why I hope others comment. There are a bunch of questions in this that come up, for obvious reasons, and hopefully this helps. Again my observations:
1)There is no golden path, no one road to success. The right school teacher for someone may not work for another student. There is no magic summer program, no magic formula, for any of this. Over the years I have seen people talk about things like yields from music schools (not necessarily on here), that to make it to x you better do Y. There is some grains of truth, that for example, if your goal is to get into the Philadelphia Orchestra or go to Marlborough chamber festival, going to Curtis helps a great deal…but it doesn’t mean that it is impossible to do it through another path.
I say this to try and take some of the anxiety off of “If I can’t do this, I can’t do that”.
- Of course there is realism too with music. If you started playing Violin in high school and your goal is to become a world class soloist, unless you are really a unicorn that is a goal that likely will disappoint. There are realities, even if you are really really good, have been playing for years, that is a difficult goal to near impossible. On the other hand,that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be doing music, it means managing expectations at times (it doesn’t mean not dream).
3)Take what anyone tells you (incuding me!) with a grain of salt at least. Every experience is YMMV, and music is such a strange thing. Especially when you hear stories like "Oh, you started playing in high school? You can still do great, my Uncle Harry’s best friend started playing in high school, went to (some generic music program) and got into a really good orchestra (some decent regional let’s say). I have heard a lot of these, and often it isn’t what they say (for example, that the friend that got into the Atlanta Symphony had a first rate teacher , was already playing at a high level, in college they majored in something else while taking private lessons),but more importantly, it was a long time ago. Music today is way different than it was 30 years ago or earlier.
Filter it through your own experience and what others are saying. A lot of it depends on your goals, pure and simple..
4)What does making it in music mean? There have been threads on here about that, but in the end it means what works for the kid. It is great to set high goals, passions, but what happens if they don’t work out? Making it means (to me) having music in your life, if you are passionate about it, and kind of finding a path that allows you to feed the passion. Being in the violin world, I have seen a ton of really talented kids who thanks to internal drive and/or parental views, were absolutely besotten of the notion that only being a high level soloist would do…and many of them end up crashing and burning. Some are talented enough, have the right skills, that they can shift gears and teach or play in an ensemble, others give up.
There is a vlog on You tube called Celloxcel who talks about issues like making it, and he had some really, really great ideas on music school and how to be a musician and such . I have nothing to do with him, I don’t know him, only thing we have in common is I think he went to the same music school my son did.
For me, I guess the way I would put it is dont obsess about any one path, but think constantly about what you can do to be in music. Lot of high level music students, even graduates of conservatories, go on to do other things besides music as a career, but still play music in some incredible amateur ensembles and orchestras. People who did music performance end up working for artists management, they end up working for orchestras, they do something professionally and play music on the side in some way or another, they teach and do gigs, there is a lot out there. I realize we live in a world that is increasingly stressful, where what to do to make a living in some ways gets more difficult, but one thing you kind of have to convince yourself (either as a parent or the student) is that getting music training is not a waste of time if it doesn’t work out the way you thought. There are musicians and music groups that make some pretty decent money doing training for corporations, that talk about their experience as musicians and how things like team dynamics, approaching problems in the group and how it applies to ‘real’ life.
5)There is no fatal mistake in music. It goes along with no golden path. There are mistakes, things that don’t work out, but there aren’t fatal mistakes. Well, okay, I can think of one, doing music because others want you to do it…you have to want to (the student/musician).
6)A big one, networking and reputation is huge in music, it is a small world, take it from me. And you would be surprised how much this matters. It means don’t burn bridges, you find jerks in the industry , in teaching, you have to be careful (I am not talking about serious issues like abuse and the like, that is never okay, something hopefully music schools have figured out), as much as you want to you kind of have to eat it .
Never turn down a performance opportunity that you can do (if someone asks you to fly to Europe and is paying like 500 bucks, that is obviously insane to do) and give it your all, I don’t care if it is playing a gig at a wedding or helping a composer by recording some of his music so he can see how it sounds. Favors like that can come back in wonderful ways, people talk in that world, and someone who gives their all is really, really valued, that I can tell you. My son’s group has gotten pretty established, and they still do things others would consider beneath them or was inconvenient, and things like that often lead to better things.
My son’s group started when he and the others got together to sight read chamber music for fun, and it ended up turning into a real thing.
Years ago my son got advice from a working musician, and they said that they have seen a bunch of kids from the top music programs, and said as talented as they are, they will struggle because they have an attitude problem, other musicians won’t deal with them, agents won’t deal with them. Always treat whoever you are dealing with professionally and with respect, it will serve you well.
7)You have to work hard, harder than you may think, even if you ‘make it’ . Your preparation is going to define you in many ways. My son’s group still works as hard, or harder, than they did when they started out. No matter how talented you are, it takes a lot of work and dedication and grit, too.
8)You need to manage yourself all through the process. What do I mean? You have to learn to market yourself, even in school. That doesn’t mean bragging, that means being in control of what you are doing, keeping track of what you are doing, managing your time (that is a huge one). It means things being aware of performance opportunities, whether paid or not, and taking them. It can mean getting to know the conductor of the orchestra at the school or the assistants, and talking to them about the music, showing an interest.
Out of school, even more so. Things don’t happen by osmosis, the musician is an active participant in their career. Things like social media are huge , again networking, seeing what is out there, and actively pursuing whatever. Even if your goal is to get into an orchestra, you have to know the audition schedule, you have to look at the rep well in advance and have it prepared. Networking here would be to contact members in the orchestra via linked in, and asking them what they look for in auditions, to find out the culture of the orchestra.
My son’s group has artists rep, which of course is how their gigs are booked, but they still do a lot themselves in terms of promoting themselves. 40 years ago artists rep would take care of so much, these days not so much. It means building a following on social media and keeping people engaged,having an up to date web site. This applies more to soloists and ensembles, but individual musicians need to do this too, to show you are active, to show you are interested. Having writings on the web site, posting stuff on music related SM, whatever, shows you are interested and active. Yes, your talent is a big part of getting gigs and the like, but it is also about selling yourself.
9)When you do get to perform, don’t forget about the audience (something I wish a lot of the big classical music performers and orchestras could learn a thing or two about). No matter the gig, take the opportunity to interact with the audience, answer questions, talk to them. Audiences do matter, despite what certain composers said or have said, and it is how you help your career. Fill in for an ensemble and get to talking to the audience afterwords, audiences get to know you, and what was a sit in could become a perm position if the group needs to fill a position.
My son’s group is in a position where they routinely are asked by young groups trying to break in what to do, and he was kind of taken aback when they tell them to interact with the audience, that they are usually the last to leave the performance space, the negative vibes they get, like 'we gave them everything with the performance, isn’t that enough?" And it matters a great deal, presenters listen to audience feedback and they rate it highly (at least in the chamber world it does). It is how you as a performer or ensemble build an audience and get asked back, and also get invited elsewhere, as i noted earlier, it is a small world and people talk,
I know this is long, but hopefully it will start as the basis for discussion on here or give some ideas for people thinking of going into music. This list is not comprehensive and it is my opinion, not as a participant (not a musician!) but rather viewing what I have seen in music and through my son’s experiences.