Making no friends in college

Cheshire_Cat · August 11, 2011, 8:42pm

I don't have many friends. When I was in elementary and middle school, I had a lot of friends. But in high school I got really depressed and I just wasn't happy in my life, so I made no new friends in high school. Most of the people I met in high school were just friendly acquantinces.
I only have one friend, but I feel like she isn't even a true friend. We are just friends to be in each others company, and we just kind of use each other if were bored or something.

I was at community college for a year, but I only made friendly acquantinces with the people in my classes. I never made any friends at CC.
I am transferring to a university 2 hours away in the fall, and I'm scared that I won't make any friends. I don't just want to make acquantinces in my classes, I want good, true friends.
I know who my roommate is, even though we've never met. But it seems like she doesn't want to be my friend because when she first gave me her number through the internet, she said, 'get to know me.' But I'm the one always texting her first, so it makes me feel that she could care less about me being her roommate. (She is not a transfer or a new student either).
I'm trying to join clubs and I want to join a sorority, but that's not until the spring semester.
I'm just really scared that I won't make any friends.
Help?

PRiNCESSMAHiNA · August 11, 2011, 9:24pm

It's okay if you're not good friends with your roommate. As long as you two get along well enough when you're in the room together, everything should be fine.

As for friends, be as friendly as possible. Join clubs, like you mentioned, and definitely rush. Try not to get worked about it, and enjoy your new university.

BadAnima · August 12, 2011, 12:45am

A lot of people in CC aren't looking to make long-lasting friendships. After all, most of them plan on transferring somewhere else. I wouldn't be too worried about not making close friends there.

Also, roommates can be a toss-up. Sometimes you end up being good friends with them and sometimes you don't. Just because you sleep in the same room doesn't mean you'll end up best friends. Joining clubs and rushing sound like good ideas. Be friendly and just give it some time.

silsmile · August 12, 2011, 1:01am

Like BadAnima said, CC isn't exactly a hotspot for awesome friendships. It's more of a transition place. So don't feel bad :)

RE: roommate. I can almost guarantee you, if you go into college planning to become BFFs with your roomie...it will backfire. Plan to be pleasant, and get along, but don't hold your breath hoping to be friends. It might happen, sure, but it's best not to get your hopes up.

Luckily, there are multitudes of opportunities to make friends in college--aside from joining clubs and rushing, try just plain talking to people in your classes. Maybe show up a little early and talk to someone who seems nice enough. Say hi to people in your dorm. Check out the social hotspots on campus--maybe there's a coffee shop or someplace similar where students like to congregate. And above all, just be patient. It will take some time, but you will definitely be able to make friends if you just keep at it. :)

EDIT: Forgot to mention--check to see if your school holds some sort of transfer student get together (ie, "transfer tuesdays" or something similar). Those events are a great way to make friends a little more quickly--after all, all the people at these events are new to campus, just like you.