That can only be done in the home. Governments cannot legislate, nor potentates dictate, the -isms out of existence.
The best we can do, I think, is to teach kids to treat and judge people according to word and deed, and nothing else (except for some very obvious exceptions, as need dictates… like helping an old lady across the road based on the ageist assumption that she needs help.)
In short, observe the Golden Rule.
That’s how we get rid of the -isms: organically. When we are no longer making any decisions based (in whole or in part) on demographic traits – so, on merit alone – that’ll probably be our species’ greatest feat.
Sometimes, government action is required, in order to remove undesired -isms that were baked in assumptions when laws or policies were made. Examples included laws requiring racial segregation, government housing loan programs redlining, refusal to accept interracial or L/G marriage.
Sure, for egregious systemic issues, legislation has been necessary.
But individuals comprise institutions, so – forthwith – individual improvement is vital to keeping the momentum toward a kinder and (more) meritocratic world.
This will be an unpopular opinion but I think a depressing reality about male privilege is that it’s hard-wired into the major religions adhered to by most inhabitants of this planet. If god is telling men that women are inherently incapable of certain spiritual roles (like clergy) and are responsible for (among other things) keeping significant parts of our bodies out of view because there is something wrong with us, then that’s going to result in a hierarchy. Athiest or progressive- minded men can say that they aren’t actively contributing to that issue, but I’d hope you men could still actually agree that this hierarchy contributes to a privileging of men above women that then seeps into all aspects of life globally. Civilization has been set up in a tilted manner and I don’t see government-based changes being enough to make up for our second-class status in faith-based thinking around the world.
OP here. First I’d like to thank the moderators for allowing this discussion to continue and also thank everyone for the thoughtful replies and for touching on delicate subjects while keeping it as apolitical as possible. I’ve read every post and have learned a lot.
I realize that I have some unearned advantages and also some unearned disadvantages. That is a fact that I believe applies to every human.
Some traits can be both advantages and disadvantages, depending on the situation. That too is a fact.
My original question “why the denialism?” has been debated and answered well. Now I’ll go out on a limb and posit a solution.
Teach, learn, and practice EMPATHY.
And, as @prezbucky wrote, observe the golden rule.
How far should those “exceptions” go? If a man and a woman are both walking towards a door and will get there at the same time, should the man speed up so he can open the door and hold it open for the woman? Or is that sexist behavior that he should be criticized for?
I never think about opening doors. I simply open them and hold them open for the next person no matter who that is. Common courtesy. It’s nothing special to me to have a door held open by a man.
I mean… don’t we usually employ common sense and courtesy in these situations? Not that we can take understanding for granted, obviously. hehe
But in the main, assuming it isn’t done to prove a point or out of spite… shouldn’t holding the door for someone/people be seen as a positive act, regardless of the demo traits of the holder/holdee?
I’m good with whoever gets to the door first opens the door and holds it open for the person behind them. I agree that it’s common courtesy, but I remember being somewhat shocked that it wasn’t as automatic in the midwest as it was in the south, and I’m one of those who believes that midwestern nice is a real thing.
I will say that it makes my day if I see someone jump up and hurry to open a door for me if they see I have my arms full…doesn’t matter their gender. And I definitely reciprocate as well, regardless of gender.
To be honest, however, I will also hold it against people if it’s their job to help, and they don’t. I remember when I was 7 or 8 months pregnant and had a carload of stuff to donate. The workers at the donation area of the Salvation Army didn’t lift a finger to help me despite me having to go back and forth for load after load. Ever since then I’ve always donated to Goodwill. Whether it’s sexist or not, my feelings on that experience still have not changed.
I will hurry to open a door if I see anyone who looks as if they need help. Someone with hands full, using a walker/on crutches, pushing a stroller, etc. Does not matter what gender the person is.
Well, similarly, when I was riding BART (the Bay Area commuter train) carrying my infant daughter strapped to me in a baby carrier and NO ONE offered a seat…That was frustrating and not just because I was tired from carrying a suprisingly heavy child around, but if I had lost my balance, as I sometimes do if there’s a sudden stop, I could have fallen seriously injured my child.
I would do informal sociological research while riding the train with my daughter and, as a broad generalization, those MOST likely to offer a seat were Latino men with a more “working class” appearance (going by how they were dressed). Those LEAST likely to offer a seat where men wearing “white collar” attire, such as suits and ties. They almost invariably would avert their eyes as soon as they saw me get on. Older women were also more likely to offer a seat than younger women, although women generally fell in the middle in terms of likelihood.
IMHO that means you are aware of the default white male privilege and you assume that the Black female had to overcome a lot of sexism, etc to get to that place. But many people will not make that assumption, instead thinking that she was a “DEI” hire.
Perhaps so, but this was my observation over the year or two I spent riding the train while carrying an infant.
It would be preferable, in my opinion, if all people were to view it as a basic courtesy: if you see someone, anyone, carrying a child (or very obviously pregnant), perhaps it is would be proper to offer your seat. It need not be sexist, and the expectation should be placed on both men and women. Wouldn’t that be a better place to be as a society? And, of course, to either accept or reject the offer graciously.
Well, and ultimately, you are not so much offering the seat for the sake of the woman, but for the sake of the child, who risks the greater injury in a fall.
I also wonder if men carrying children are ever offered seats? If so, by whom? If I saw a man carrying a child, I would surely offer a seat - based in part on the memory of my own experiences.
I agree, but in an environment where the definition of “basic courtesy” is unknown many see it better not to act than to do something that would put them at social risk.
I once saw a young woman belittle an older man for holding a door open for her. He probably wont make that mistake again.
Of course, there are other situations where customers’ implicit bias can matter on the effectiveness of customer-contact employees doing their jobs. For example, in an area with heavy implicit (or explicit) bias among the population, health care workers or police officers of some demographic characteristics (gender, race/ethnicity, religion, etc.) may be more effective at gaining the needed trust with those they interact with. But it would be rather unsavory for a hospital or police department to make its hiring and on-the-job assignment decisions on that basis.
I think your example is a good reason for us all to check our bias in hiring. If I am your customer, maybe I do have biases towards Brad Pitt the first time that I buy a car, but if someone less conventionally handsome does a great job as my salesperson, it helps erode that bias and makes me more trusting of people with different appearances the next I buy a car. Or makes me more open to hiring a wider range of people as hosts in my restaurant or sales clerks in my retail store. I think that is a good thing just the way it is a good thing when people of different body types appear in magazines, illustrated books or other media.
I don’t think andults are only shaped by their parents’ bringing them up to avoid stereotyping others. Our experience in the greater world and what we view in the media influences us. Having laws against housing and employment discrimination plays a role as well. Just interacting with different kinds of people helps (usually though sometimes it negatively impacts some individuals)