Male privilege denialism

I have to say…it’s a privilege being male. Only 50% of the population is like us. It’s totally rare.

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And that 50% has historically held the vast majority - well above 50% - of positions of power in this country, in both the public and private sectors. What could be the reason for that, I wonder?

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It’s probably not my good looks…

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A number of posters have tried frame this discussion as if it about men being “castigated” and women who are unfairly “blaming” men for the supposed failures of women.

I don’t see it that way. For me a discussion of male privilege (or any identity privilege) is a critical examination of what our society values, how our society came to value certain things over others, whether those values make sense in our modern world, and changing those values where they don’t make sense.

There is no need for people to become so defensive. One can recognize male privilege exists and discuss what to do about it without blaming anyone.

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Perhaps this is more related to geographical cultural norms than the topic. I’m from the South where holding doors, chairs, etc for women are considered polite. I realize this is not the norm everywhere and I feel no offense when this does not happen. My partner (who is not Southern, he’s midwestern) enjoys these social niceties because he would never have been “allowed” to do this before meeting me. He’d have been castigated. But it’s deemed respectful in my mind so he has no problem. Knowing our differences in background I’m not offended if he doesn’t follow “southern norms”.

And I was a business owner and subject expert when we met so there was no perceived condescension. It was social consideration and nothing else. I realize others may not feel this way. The lesson to me is expressing your preference and not taking offense unless your wishes are ignored.

So I may get lectured in the Midwest if I hold a door for a woman?

I’m from the Boston area and I hold doors for both men and women all the time. I did it this morning at Dunkin’ on my way to work. No one has ever confronted me about it, and Bostonians can be real jerks.

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Maryland. Guy ahead of me going into the motor vehicle administration yesterday held the door for me. He was a good five seconds ahead of me and he had to stop and wait for me to get there but he did and held the door open until I arrived. I appreciated the gesture and have done the same for both men and women before. It’s common courtesy.

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Honestly I think this is an individual consideration. If you hold a door and ask “do you mind…” I’d expect it to be well received.

I hold doors for anyone with full hands regardless of where I am. That’s basic consideration and I note it when others don’t do it. Eg Sharp looks at men on the subway when I get up and offer help and they don’t.

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I would do this as well. Common courtesy.

Honestly I never realized some are offended by this until spending significant time in other parts of the world and our country. (Western Europe and Midwest US)

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I’ve gotten out of my seat for women many times over the years, or at least asked them if they’d prefer to sit down.

One day driving out of my driveway with my teenage son. There was a car across the road that was parked and the older couple were out and looked like they needed help. I asked if everything was ok and they said yes, there was someone coming to help. As we pulled away, I informed my son that if they had needed our help we would have stopped what we were doing and assisted them. Again, common courtesy.

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CC is the Lake Wobegon of politeness :rofl:

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Last Sunday night my wife and I were outside a restaurant down south saying our goodbyes to LEO son and his girlfriend. An elderly woman was pushing her husband in a wheelchair towards the double door exit of the restaurant. Both my son and I instinctively rushed to the doors and held them open. She was very appreciative, as was the restaurant manager who got there from the inside just after us. I would never think to ask permission to be courteous. That’s not how courtesy works with me.

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I find most people to be very courteous in my area. Everyone holds the doors, helps people who are lost, stops when people need help, etc… Except the train. I don’t know what it is about the train but people are oblivious to the “reserved seating” for the elderly, pregnant, injured. Seems like the younger the rider, the less likely they will give up their seat.

The only issue we’ve had recently is inadvertently offending an older couple by offering up our seat. They snapped at us that they weren’t “that old”. Ooops!

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https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/male-to-female-ratio-by-state

Apparently in the US there are 97 males per 100 females. Males are in the minority!

It’s interesting that it’s seen as regional. I’ve lived in the north and the south, and have spent a fair amount of time on the west coast in the last 15 years or so. Holding the door, either sex by and for either sex, has just been a common courtesy. And especially if someone looks like it might be a hardship (trouble walking, hands full , etc). Ditto for offering a seat, though I agree with @worriedmomucb that this is more variable on public transportation.

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I do distinguish between a general courtesy vs a hardship.

I’m not sure if that falls into the thread topic, although I’ve contributed to this fork n the conversation. :grimacing:

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Having experienced that in your neck of the woods I get it!!

This issue actually came up at the training hospital where I did my residency. Older male doctors often insisted on holding doors for their female colleagues. They would rush ahead, or they would make an awkward comment if the woman did ever happen to get to the door first. The men were just trying to have good manners, I’m sure. But each door was disruptive, and there are a lot of doors in a hospital.

So some women doctors joined together and asked them to stop. They weren’t keen on this, but some younger male doctors backed up the women and explained to the older male doctors how they all just went through the doorways, and how well it worked. And the norm changed.

So much more comfortable now.

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There are more males born than females. But due to various reasons (risky behaviors, dangerous occupations, homicide, etc.), men die younger and therefore there are fewer males overall.

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This is the part that seems disappointing. Why would they make a comment? Seems just common courtesy all drs, male or female (or gender fluid, if that’s the right term) would be courteous if they got to the door first and held it if the other person was coming. To me what’s rude is when someone sees me coming (like at the gym) and they door almost slams in my face b/c they don’t hold it for a millisecond. To me that’s tacky.

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