<p>Thesis (approximated): Although details can be significant, it is far more important to focus on the big picture.</p>
<p>First example- Stanislav Petrov: While working for a Soviet missile detection program, the computer system Petrov was monitoring detected an inbound American missile. Despite the orders of his superiors, Petrov believed the missile to be a computer glitch, and did not fire Soviet missiles at America. Through his focus on the big picture and his ability to see this small detail in a larger context, he avoided nuclear war and worldwide decimation.</p>
<p>Second example- The Spanish-American War: American Statesman John Hay famously stated that the Spanish-American War was a “splendid little war.” His supporting evidence was found in the small details; immediate American gratification and a quick war. However, it ignored the larger scope of things- a split in the American people over the Philippines’ annexation, lack of economic return, loss of American life to guerrilla Filipino warriors, and long lasting Cuban-American mutual animosity. Because Hay was caught up in the small details, he had a naive and shortsighted point of view on the war.</p>
<p>Does this seem 10+ worthy? Anyone care to share their own theses/examples?</p>
<p>My essay had pretty much the exact same premise; neglecting the big picture and focusing solely on details is disadvantageous. I saw most people were writing the exact opposite (attention to details is very important and leads to success and whatnot) so seeing this is quite relieving. In terms of your essay, depending on how strong your intro was and conclusion(I am assuming it was slightly more sophisticated than what you have written here) I think you easily have earned at least a 9 given your great examples. Mine were much more simplistic; I wrote about how construction workers have to visualize the entire building they are working on and cannot get too carried away with fastidious details and the Han Dynasty’s meritocracy (AP world ftw).<br>
Hoping for at least an 8 because I had some pretty good syntax and had a very lucid command of language.</p>
<p>Nice OP, I wrote the opposite essay, but there was a while where I thought I was going to write from your point of view, and I had Stanislov Petrov written down on my notes page too.</p>
<p>I wrote about how sometimes the details are what lead to the big discoveries. I talked about how Sherlock Holmes observes tiny details to solve mysteries in ways that no one else can, and how the Higgs Boson discovery relied on tiny blips in data and tiny infrequent particle decays that were detected.</p>
<p>Thesis: In warfare scenarios, attention to detail can mean the difference between life and death, victory and defeat.</p>
<p>Example 1: In the Art of War, by Sun Tzu, a specific scenario that calls for acute attention to detail is the placement of archers upon a hill while the enemy walks in the valley beneath. However, archers would be ineffective if the enemy is armored or has shields. If one does not notice this small detail, this could result not only in the loss of life but also in the loss of the war.</p>
<p>Example 2: In Ender’s Game, because Ender realized that space warfare takes place in three dimensions instead of 2, as naval warfare does, this small detail helps propel him into a combat maneuver that eventually helps win the war.</p>
<p>Should I have focused my thesis on the more general picture? Because both my examples were related to warfare.</p>
<p>Thesis: Paying too much attention to detail can cause dangerous ignorance to main ideas.</p>
<p>Example 1: Fahrenheit 451. Montag’s job of burning books consisted of many detailed and heavily regulated procedures, but if he only payed attention to following these guidelines he would never realize the government oppression that was going on.</p>
<p>Example 2: Gatsby. If Nick only payed attention to the details of fine clothes and lavish parties he would never understand the superficiality of the lifestyle the people around him were leading.</p>
<p>(Counter)Example 3: Nazi Germany. Some people may say that if people took care to notice the contents of Hitler’s Mein Kampf, disaster could have been averted. The reality is the people of post WWI germany were too absorbed in the details of their government corruption and hyperinflation being fixed, so they didn’t notice the true fascism of the nazi party. </p>
<p>I kind of regret going with overused hitler/gatsby examples, but overall I think I did a solid job of using strong vocab to connect them to the prompt.</p>
<p>Thesis: Paying attention to details results in greater accuracy.</p>
<p>1st example: personal. I didn’t check my math homework even though my parents told me too and therefore made stupid mistakes and a lower grade than someone who did (true story bro)</p>
<p>2nd: Higgs boson and the LHC. Scientists needed to pay attention to minute details in order to discover the Higgs. Theories of particle physics involve incredibly small details and little errors in measurement can add up to big errors in theory.</p>
<p>3rd: Historical. Dropping the atomic bomb on Japan seems to have an obvious cause: end the war with Japan quickly. However, when one examines the details of history more closely a different motivation emerges: to threaten and intimidate the Soviet Union.</p>
<p>I think I did better then my last essay (Oct) even though I didn’t finish my conclusion because my examples were more varied.</p>
<p>Through his assiduous attention to particulars, Galileo Galilei demonstrates that details are not only fundamental elements of the larger picture, but that they can actually sharpen our view of the world.</p>
<p>Thesis: Accomplishing goals can often lead to dissatisfcation</p>
<p>Example 1: Viktor in Frankenstein became dissatisfied with the creation of his creature as the creature was created. The ugly reality was juxtaposed to his idealistic view.</p>
<p>Example 2: Mao Zedong after accomplishing goal of the communist revolution was dissastisfied with the political bureacracy of the new communist regime</p>
<p>Example 3: Some generic personal example I spent 3 minutes on, it was less than a quarter of page cause I ran out of space.</p>
<p>Thesis: The goals one sets for oneself often leads to dissatisfaction.</p>
<p>Example 1: Galileo Galilei studied in many different subjects, and was always improving his works. (Bad example, I know.)</p>
<p>Example 2: Vincent van Gogh set goals to finish his paintings, but always hated them in the end. With this and his financial dependency on his brother, he committed suicide.</p>
<p>Example 3: Guy Montag in Fahrenheit 451 sought to challenge the government, so he set goals for himself: steal a book, tell others his thoughts, read poetry to people, and eventually kill Beatty. Every time he accomplished his goal, he wanted to do more, never satisfied with his previous goal.</p>
<p>thesis: achievement leads to greater success</p>
<p>first ex: mendeleev with the first periodic table. said he spent 14 years (made that up) developing it and received renown and prestige from the entire scientific community after publication, and inspired many to continue studies of elements, atoms, and molecules. after that accomplishment he was motivated to develop the atomic theory (false lol) </p>
<p>second ex: charles lindbergh, first person to fly new york to paris (across the atlantic) alone and nonstop. he was the greatest american hero of the 1920’s, when he came back he was showered with praise and respect. went on a tour of the us, (49 states and a hundred something cities) and gave speeches to inspire the youth of america to set goals and go out and achieve them. his popularity pushed him to write a book about his journey</p>
<p>conclusion: basically their success encouraged them to find even more success which they did and that they felt fulfilled by their success, not discouraged/dissatisfied.</p>
<p>@Braydenslv I think the Van Gogh and Montag examples are good. The Galileo one is a little shakier because that guy was so complicated it’s hard to typecast him as any one thing. I think, depending on your wording, you might be looking at a 9? Not sure.</p>
<p>Intro - “What is an ocean but a multitude of drops”; explained how details and individuals make up a whole. Focusing on the details is beneficial only when the big picture is in mind. </p>
<ol>
<li><p>Cal Lightman from the TV show Lie to Me - focuses on the minute changes in people’s facial expressions in order to discover their true feelings → doing this helps piece together the crime “puzzle” and solve the “big picture”</p></li>
<li><p>Jack Cisterny, highly accredited modern pointillism painter - his paintings close up only look like dots, far away the dots blur to form the bigger picture. </p></li>
</ol>
<p>Counter - however, if both people blah blah blah didnt focus on the bigger picture, their efforts would be pointless. Cal’s work wouldnt be necessary if he didnt look to make up a whole’ if Cisterny’s dots didnt represent a bigger picture then his paintings would not have the same effect… etc</p>
<p>Intro - (similar to Kirby’s haha) “The whole is the sum of its parts” therefore, details are important</p>
<p>Thesis: Scrutiny of details arms you with knowledge and saves you from the vulnerability of being innocent</p>
<p>Support 1: Animal Farm - animals don’t pay close enough attention to what is going on, Snowball doesn’t pay attention to why Napoleon is fostering the pups, Boxer doesn’t realize that Squealer is lying and that he is being sent to a glue factory, yadda yadda explaining why not paying attention to details is costly</p>
<p>Support 2: The Aeneid - using Aeneas’ meticulous attention to various prophecies and information he has been given by the gods to found Rome, explaining why paying attention to detail leads to favorable outcomes.</p>
<p>I wrote that while it is extremely important to focus on the details, it is equally as important to utilize those details to grasp an understand of the big picture – that the truly advantageous person would understand that each detail is a piece of the jigsaw puzzle, with each piece sometimes meaning nothing in and of itself, but together, creating something wholly different.</p>
<p>My body paragraphs were personal anecdotes, one using Health + Diet, and the other using school work. On the school work one, I detailed how a “big picture” mindset can allow for a “bar of mediocrity.”</p>
<p>I wrote right up until the end, too. Probably 24:55 of the 25:00.</p>
<p>I just wanted to point out that the CollegeBoard actually did specify examples to use in the prompt. I believe it was something like “whether in making ordinary, everyday decisions, analyzing historical events, or reading literature.” This means, logically, that the examples could be personal which I did. Although deciding to focus on “intonation” in my violin playing is not really an “ordinary, everyday decision.” Oops</p>
<p>@KBlitz Yeah, I know what you mean. I keep reading on CC that Galileo is the “universal example” haha. Turns out not to be the case. Van Gogh just came to me, and I felt like a genius for coming up with that. A 9 certainly isn’t too bad of a score for a first time, as I am expecting somewhere between an 8 and a 10. My word choice isn’t anything to write home about, but it’s respectable. A few words here and there that might impress them a little, but nothing chock full of those WOW words, you know?</p>
<p>It’s fun to read other people’s examples here. I don’t remember nearly as much you most of you, but I wrote on the side of details. </p>
<p>My first body paragraph was about Woodrow Wilson’s Fourteen Points and the Treaty of Versailles. The Treaty of Versailles was so unsuccessful not because there was disagreement about whether or not there should be peace, but in how to obtain that ideal. </p>
<p>My second body paragraph was not as strong, I would say. I wrote about about women’s rights, and how, although lots of people like to point to generalized legislation that would make it seem as though women are equal to men, real, concrete specifics like wage disparities, discrimination, etc. show that this isn’t the case.</p>
<p>-- Hoping to revive this post so that all you lovely people can post your essay scores. </p>
<p>The SAT essay is a big joke. Seriously. Lots of people worked so hard to remember literary and historical examples. I did as well but when the actual prompt came, I was at a loss as to what to write, so I made up TWO personal examples–which weren’t even that good–and I got a 10. That just goes to show how much they care about specific types of examples.</p>