I have no idea how I missed your thread earlier, but glad you came back!
I’m not an engineering, CS, aerospace, or math person, so keep that in mind with my suggestions.
When I was reading your first post, before seeing the update, I was thinking about Gonzaga. It has about 5300 undergrads (54% female!), ultimate frisbee, it’s in a city (Spokane) but with great access to outdoor activities, it’s going to be cooler weather, it’s on the west coast, and I believe there’s tremendous flexibility to change majors. It’s ABET accredited for numerous areas (including computer engineering, computer science, electrical engineering, and mechanical engineering) and offers a robotics minor (or a robotics concentration for students majoring in computer or electrical engineering). And my hunch is that because it’s in the state of Washington, its alumni or faculty may have some connections with aerospace companies in the state. And his desire to discuss the state of the world and finding solutions to help it improve seem as though it may align well with the Jesuit ethos of questioning ideas, thinking critically, and seeking to serve the common good. This would be an extremely likely admit for your son, and I suspect that substantial merit aid would come, which is not required in your family’s case, but always a nice benefit.
With his interest in mechatronics, I would definitely see if you could get him to look into Cal State - Chico. If things don’t work out at Cal Poly, it’s always nice to have another in-state option, and with his interests really dovetailing into mechatronics, he might be more amenable to the idea (and this would be an extremely likely admit). Plus, there’s lots of flexibility to change majors at Chico, should he desire to do so. Mechatronic Engineering BS — Chico State . And it’s 56% female to boot!
Also, I think WPI should stay on the worthy-of-more consideration list. It’s got ultimate frisbee, an outdoor club (since 1932!), and I’m sure plenty of folks who would be happy to play D&D. It also touts itself as one of the tops in robotics in the country: Robotics Engineering | Worcester Polytechnic Institute . And even though WPI is 67% male, it participates in a consortium where students can take classes at other schools like College of the Holy Cross (54% female) and Clark (57% female). I’m not sure how well the academic calendars line up for cross-registration since WPI has shorter terms (@OctoberKate?), but there are definitely other college-aged females in the area. And again, lots of flexibility to change majors, I believe. If he shows interest, I think this is a likely admit.