This came up recently in a discussion with friends. Many families keep their out of college but under 26 years old child on the family’s medical/dental plans, even if the child has a job that provides medical/dental insurance. Since they have younger children still “in the nest”, the parents are already paying family premiums, so it saves the child money and costs the parents nothing. The question is - who pays the medical/dental expenses these adult children incur. Do the children pay, do the parents pay, or is it some mixture? For example, the parents might foot the over thousand dollar expense for wisdom tooth removal, but not the small co-pay at urgent care. As one of my friends asked “when do you cut them off?”
As with all other expenses, I suppose it’s a personal/family decision. Same can be asked about the family cell phone plan and the family Amazon Prime, Hulu, and Netflix accounts.
I have a recent college grad who is working in a well-paying job (enough to support herself). We still have her on the cell phone plan, and she still uses our pass codes to watch TV on the above-mentioned services. We also still pay for her CrashPlan computer back-up.
As for healthcare, her employer-provided plan is WAY better than our family plan. Low deductible, low co-pays, low or no co-insurance. Monthly premium is low and is deducted from her check pre-tax. Besides, she’s living in a different state, and our family plan only covers in-state providers. I expect her to pay co-pays for her doctor visits. Obviously, if there’s a serious issue with a lot of out-of-pocket costs, we’ll help her.
Probably depends on the kid. Our sons have not asked for any financial help since leaving college. Younger was on our family insurance for a couple of years post first college job when he moved to a startup (he had access to insurance but would have paid some for it- he was under 26 so he could be on our insurance instead) -but he handled any additional expenses himself (copays, etc.) . Both have been generally healthy so far so that always helps… Now that they are both over 26, all of the expenses are definitely on them.
I have two kids with significant medical issues. One works full-time and has employer insurance. I help that one with the deductible because I’m in a better position to do that than she is. I’m happy to do it. I pay the premiums and the deductible for the other. He takes care of co-pays. If it weren’t for the health insurance he would be unable to hold a job. This way he can work full-time and maybe someday have a job that offers health insurance. It’s not about cutting them off, it’s about making the best of a rotten situation.
We did do things like pay their cell phone share , car insurance for the first year out of college . The expectation was they would move to covering those expenses themselves. We still usually pick up the tab when we do things like get together in restaurants but once in a blue moon they have been known to pay!
I agree it really depends on circumstances. Our S has been on his win financially for the most part since he started his career a year after graduating from college. He did stay on the family medical plan until he turned 26 and aged out. I think I picked up his copays as the bills came to our house. Since he turned 26 & got his own policy he’s taken care of all his premiums & copays.
D on the other hand continues to have chronic health issues which impede her ability to have any steady employment. We pay all her expenses one way or another.
Ds1 stayed on plan because of family premium issue, but he paid for any expenses. For instance, he had Lasik done during that time. As soon as ds2 graduated and got a job, we kicked ds1 off our plan as there was no longer a financial reason to keep him on. I was so happy to get that “raise”!
D1 was on my plan until she moved on to her then live in BF’s insurance (now her H). I pay for the deductibles the first few years until she started getting some meaningful bonuses. Now D2 is on my insurance. I pay for almost everything except for few minor prescription deductibles. She is a law student now, but I will stop when she is working.
So I see this scenario play out almost weekly in my practice. I will tell you most of the time it’s on the parents regardless of the age of the adult child. The only time it’s on the child adult is when they are established.
Just had a 21 year yesterday in college. She needed something done. I always ask them to get their parents OK… Why? It’s the parents who are paying for the bill and “always” appreciate the heads up. When the student tells me it’s their insurance or school insurance we tell them the fee and what they will pay today (since deductibles are like never met) they always call their parents… Lol…
If they have started a job and truly have their own health insurance etc then it’s on them.
We as parents plan to help are own kids become adults. That has nothing to do with being 18. My daughter has warned us she will be on our health insurance till 26. If she gets a job when she graduates from college that has a better plan then she won’t. Easy as that.
We told our daughter we will pay for everything through next August, three months after she graduates. After that, she’s on her own. She can stay on our insurance but she will have to reimburse us for the premium. If she continues to live with us, she’ll pay us rent.
Having said that, if some big emergency occurred, I’m sure we would help her out.
Here’s an article about this subject https://www.cnbc.com/2018/03/05/parents-pay-some-bills-for-quarter-of-millennials-working-full-time.html
We are in the minority I am sure but once the kids graduated from college, they were responsible for their expenses, including health insurance, car and phone. We paid for college, they are debt free, that is our gift at great personal sacrifice on our part. In the part of my life outside this forum, we gave them much more than many parents we know. It was a gift we gladly sacrificed for and were happy to.
We have paid all for our son, up until his recent new job and move. He wasn’t making a lot of money at his old job and we didn’t mind paying it, knowing when he got his first decent job he would take over. He turns 26 in the fall and will be signing up next week for his new insurance. We gave him the car and he’s taken over all premiums, etc. although he has been paying for its upkeep and maintenance. As of now, the only thing is the phone. He is 1 year into the 2 year plan, but pays us monthly for the phone. We pay his $20 to have it on our plan. When the contract is up, he will be getting his own and it will be over.
We didn’t mind helping him out. My parents helped me and even as a young married helped out.
We haven’t gotten to that point. In general, I expect them to pay for everything (especially car insurance!) on their own assuming they get real jobs after graduation. However, I could see keeping older S on our family plan if it meant saving him a lot on premiums and it wouldn’t cost us any more.
However, something I didn’t realize until our last open enrollment. We have a $5000/person deductible and an HSA. You can’t use your HSA funds to pay for a non-dependent kid. I hadn’t realized that, and glad I haven’t had a chance to screw up on that one yet.
Going back to the original question - I would pay for the younger one’s wisdom tooth removal if it happened after college graduation, because I paid for his brother’s while he was in high school. I think that is fair. A crown/root canal would be on them.
@MaineLonghorn. So my daughter’s friends just graduated. (she sorta took a gap year after sophomore year). She is seeing her friends not getting jobs right away and some are taking lower paid internships to hopefully lead to a better paying job. Some are back home and some are planning to get an apartment together. Some are at Starbucks while applying for jobs etc etc. In Chicago few have /need cars since the transportation system is really great. So would your 3 month plan still hold true? We just don’t want our kids to assume they don’t need health insurance and skip it so they can afford their other expenses. My son will come out with benefits and cush job. She can be a flip of a coin depending on directions she takes.
We’re not at that point yet either but our expectation is that after graduation, D is going to be on her own for all her expenses. She’s going to graduate debt free and with all her co-op/internship money in the bank. Barring something catastrophic medically, there is zero reason she won’t be able to live within her means (in which case of course we’d have her back).
But, if she needs to live in a studio apartment or with a bunch of roommates, to make ends meet, that’s what she needs to do. We have a family friend who still subsidizes their 38 year old daughter so she can live in a lavish condo because “that’s what she was used to growing up.” Their D has a very good job and easily could be supporting herself in a nice, albeit not ritzy, part of town. That’s just not happening in our household.
@Knowsstuff we’re pretty locked into the three-month plan. She can live at home and we won’t charge the market rate for rent, but we’re not going to subsidize her, otherwise. It will be a requirement that she get health insurance. Her grandfather already bought her a car with good gas mileage, so she’s set there.
I know people say, “It’s so hard on kids these days,” but it was hard on DH and me, too. We sent out almost 300 resumes from Hawaii to Alaska to Maine, and got maybe five responses. We landed interviews in TWO locations only, Albuquerque and Portland, Maine. We had Master’s Degrees in Engineering with high GPAs and job experience. We had to move 2,500 miles for work. During one period in the '90s, we were on unemployment and used food pantries. So we “get it” that it’s hard. My parents HAVE helped us occasionally and we hope to do the same for our kids. But we’re not guaranteeing it.
Totally agree @MaineLonghorn - We lived in a basement apartment after graduation from an Ivy, also moved across the country (multiple times due to job loss), took huge loses on some homes, etc… Every generation has their struggles and most of us have had to work really hard to get where we are. D is already very lucky (IMO) but she’s going to need to build her own life after graduation.
Eldest got a job at age 19 that had incredible health insurance and also paid for his cell phone so we “encouraged” him to jump in to that! It was funny - a week or so ago he was going to our chiro and DH said he could put the bill on our account there and DS laughed and said it’s covered under his insurance! Other kids are 20 and 17. We pay for 20 year olds health insurance offered at his University because it costs the same as ours but is a much better plan. When he graduates we will have to see if he goes back on ours or his own. We do pay for his expenses that are incurred for contacts and dental, etc. because he’s still full time student. Younger two kids are also on our cell phone plan, however when they become eligible for a new phone (that I don’t think they need) they have to pay for it. DS waited an extra 1 1/2 years to upgrade because he really thought I would cave in and buy it for him.
Heh, I am learning here since we are not there yet @MaineLonghorn.
@momofsenior1 your daughter like my son will most likely have a decent engineering job with benefits. My daughter’s job outlook could go either way. She’s already getting concerned. She like your daughter is a go getter and will work two jobs without batting an eye to make things work out. Just more concerned about her since it won’t be a large wage job with the potential of engineering. All her school is paid for and she has money in the bank also, a lot of it her own, has her own credit card etc and doesn’t mind us helping her set a budget. I grew up with 3 older sisters and my mother was on public aid and food stamps for much of my upbringing. I paid for my schooling etc and once left for medical school never lived back home so I get it and been there done that also. My kids understand how privledged they are even compared to some of their friends and both are hard workers. Just the uncertainty is the thing.
My daughter is a photography / art history major. Sigh.