We pay for medical insurance, and most bills. They pay if there is a copay because they are there. One kid took a little while to get a professional job, and so he’s been on our insurance. He will get off next spring. Other (younger) stays on because it’s just as cheap for2 kids. When older gets off, we will compare costs for younger.
We pay all dental so far, but when they start going to another dentist the bill will likely migrate with them.
I would rather pay than have them do without, and it’s not hard for us.
Once older kid got a “good” job, he had to take over car insurance and maintenance. I gave younger til January after college. (he has a great job).
They pay for their own phones. Other than gifts and medical help, they are self sufficient now. Of course we would help if they needed something. They are re both pretty frugal, and haven’t taken advantage of the help I’ve offered. If they were wasting money (by my definition - eating/drinking out often, taking UBER at $50 a pop often, things like that) I’d be less inclined to help.
We got ours through undergrad with no debt and gave them each a “low end” safe car. I feel like from here on their should be no expectations of financial assistance. If it’s health or safety related, and truly a need, I would probably offer to help, whatever the expense.