Medical issues for college sr. ?

Parent Cafe
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<p>While we’re waiting to hear the remaining test results, to be followed by a second opinion & possibly more tests &/or hospitalization(s), I’d like to get your opinions on the following, if you would, please: </p>

<p>S is a senior in college, due to graduate w/ honors this December w/ the 150 hrs. needed for the CPA exam. His grades are slipping, due largely to missing classes and feeling lousy much of the time. A trip to the ER last week, followed by a hospital stay, has resulted in a preliminary diagnosis of a rather serious & chronic medical problem. He might be able to complete the semester, but it will be tough. The university will extend the deadline to withdraw until the week before finals as long as S provides them with a statement from his doctor, so they’re encouraging him to stick it out. If he does graduate in Dec., I’m concerned about him starting his career in January when busy season will be in full swing and he will likely need accommodations for his condition. </p>

<p>We don’t yet know about health ins. coverage from dh’s employer should S graduate but not start working immediately. Nor do we have any ideas about if and how he should explain the gap. If he withdraws this semester & returns to school in January to graduate next spring, there won’t be a problem w/ our insurance. He could explain that he took off a semester to get this health problem under control. It seems to me that an employer would have less concern about someone who returned to school & completed his degree <em>after</em> surgery/hospitalizations than they might have about someone whose recovery/remission hasn’t been put to the test. Dh is concerned that if S leaves school now, he will spend his time (apart from dr. visits, etc.) playing WoW and getting depressed about his health, but he doesn’t have any answers for the other issues.</p>

<p>I’m the one who advised S to postpone graduation from last spring in order to pick up the extra hours while his scholarship is still in force. As it is, he’s scheduled to finish in 3 1/2 yrs. anyway. If he withdraws, now that the deadline for refunds has already passed, it’s unlikely that the university will award his scholarships to pay for the same courses again next term. While money is tighter now than a year ago, we can certainly afford these expenses better than S could when he’s just starting out, especially if they were deemed to be due to a preexisting condition by his new employer’s medical ins. co. </p>

<p>Would you advise your child to remain in school, if at all possible, and postpone the decision to withdraw until the last minute? Or would you suggest that he focus on resting and recuperating, and deal with the fallout, financial and otherwise, later? If the latter, how do you help him to avoid getting isolated and depressed? He lives w/ a sibling who attends the same univ., and who will remain in that city to work next yr.</p>

<p>Thanks for your advice.</p>

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<p>I developed a chronic medical condition when I was in college and I had a horrible semester with grades. I didn’t have something as concrete as an accounting major to back me up, so your son’s situation may be different.
But I will always be grateful to my father who insisted I withdraw for a semester. My mother was gloom and doom and didn’t even think it was worth doing the paperwork, that I would never be back.</p>

<p>Well, I did learn how to manage my disease better. I eventually earned a PhD and have been teaching at the same college for 23 years.</p>

<p>Your son may feel differently, and finances fall differently in every situation, but it is emotionally overwhelming for a healthy young adult to develop a medical condition.</p>

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<p>

I think that is certainly worth investigating! Get the doctor’s report, and fax or take it to the Dean of student’s office, and discuss possibilities. If this was a 4-year scholarship, they may be willing to allow him to withdraw for medical reasons this semester, then retake and graduate in the spring. It is SO important for your son to have medical insurance - so I would probably suggest that option, if I were in your place.</p>

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<p>Thank you both. Mythmom, I can’t begin to tell you how much it helps to learn of folks who managed to deal w/ such a problem and thrive despite all of the challenges.</p>

<p>We did get some good news this evening. Our health ins. will cover S up to age 25 if he’s a full time student for at least five months of each calendar yr. That is such a relief. We can also continue coverage for a limited time, but at increased cost. Dh & I nearly went bankrupt early in our marriage because my employer’s medical ins. denied payment for my major surgery & related expenses.</p>

<p>S & I had a chat, and if the preliminary dx is confirmed, he would like to drop all but two classes. One is a required course that won’t be offered next semester, and the other is an elective that he’s enjoying very much & is taking pass/fail. He could then (we hope) take 12 hrs. in the spring to meet both the exam and the ins. co.'s requirements. So far, the professors & admin. at the university have been very supportive. Once we get the final diagnosis, we’ll see what will happen about the scholarships.</p>

<p>Looking further ahead, we’re going to suggest that S consider working in his college town (which he loves) for a year before applying to a Big 4 firm. That way, he will have a doctor who’s familiar w/ his case and have continuity of care, at least while he makes the adjustment to work while dealing with his health problem. Who knows, maybe he will decide that there are other paths to “success.” I know it’s premature to even think about, but I am determined to be positive about this & to help S focus on how to cope and make the best of things.</p>

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<p>Robi: That sounds like a great plan to me. Things do not have to be all or nothing, and the continuity will give him a sense of comfort and normalcy I’m sure. See how flexible the school can be about scholarship, as others have suggested, and that’s certainly great news about the health insurance.</p>

<p>Keep us posted and feel free to PM with additional questions if you have any.</p>

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<p>A serious, chronic illness (mental or physical) is a call to take off all prevoiusly worn looking-glasses. It is a call to stop drinking former brands of super strength-super succe$$ful koolaid and find another brand, a less toxic brand.</p>

<p>So… I send cyber hugs along with urgent advice. Encourage your son to let go of any notion of a Big 4 job–a 120 hour per week job with incredible stress levels that could ruin his health for life. Those jobs and that prestige are not worth it.</p>

<p>There are marvelous firms who would love to have him come work for them at 50 hours a week in a minimal stress environment. Tell him to take a punt and let a less stressful life lead him to happiness and health.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

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<p>Cheers, thank you. I think that’s great advice. However, I am responding to it from the vantage point of a 50-something mama; I nearly ruined my own health as has dh (between the two of us, we cover most stress-related health problems.) The early yrs. when dh worked in the (then) Big 8 nearly destroyed our marriage as well as his health. S tends to look at the potential six-figure income and the toys that will buy, without considering that he may not be able to enjoy it all. </p>

<p>On the bright side, S has clearly done some reading online about his likely condition and seems to be dealing with the situation better today.</p>

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<p>Cheers, allow me to strongly disagree. Im no stranger to chronic illness, and its only strengthened my resolve to get a really good job. The sad truth is that managing a disease is much easier when you’re rich and have good health insurance. A job couldnt cause me nearly as much stress as having to treat a severe illness without stable finances.</p>

<p>Edit: Maybe I’ll soften that position. Working 50 hrs/wk at a decent firm would still get you pretty good health insurance.</p>

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<p>Knock knock world. </p>

<p>There are amazing career opportunities outside of the Big 4. Open your eyes and ye shall discover them.</p>

<p>Vyse, a 21 year old does not need a $100K job to get good health care. No 21 year old NEEDS a $100k job. End of story.</p>

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<p>cheers: I support your position, but the young man in question may not. My chronic illness led me into academia which has provided me with excellent health care, excellent work schedule, lots of time off so that I have a 23 year unbroken employment history. In a more stressful job, I really don’t think I could have managed this. I don’t pay for my health care at all and have dental insurance and eye insurance as well as legal insurance. I also have tenure which affords me complete job security.</p>

<p>I know this lower stress professional life as protected my health and also left me with enough physical resources to be an affective parent.</p>

<p>I don’t miss life in the fast lane at all.</p>

11

<p>I would caution any 20-something about donating their twenties to ANY corporation. I really don’t see the value of working that hard during such a wonderful time of your life. To make more money? To buy more rubbish? Instead of travelling and learning and enjoying life on this marvelous planet? It’s too terrible a trade-off.</p>

<p>Bright talented workers can make oodles of money doing less stressful jobs. Major oodles may come a bit later in the career–when you need oodles to pay tuitions and mortgages. The majority of kids don’t need oodles of moolah in their twenties.</p>

<p>Don’t chase money. Chase your passions to their highest levels and the money will fall into place.</p>

<p>That’s my advice to my kids.</p>

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<p>I remember my 20s as being awesome. I was working some huge number of hours a week at a company that gave us all sorts of perks and more money than we knew what to do with. And I would have done it all for free. I was working in a field I had a passion for, for a company that knew how to harness that passion. They sent me on trips that allowed me to travel to places I hadn’t dreamed of. And I met my husband there. As did all of my friends. By my thirties, I had a family and other obligations. The money from my twenties helped me retire in my early 40s, so I could stay home with the kids. I don’t miss life in the fast lane at all. But I don’t regret it for one second.</p>