<p>Last week, one of my wife’s 13 year-old students committed suicide. My wife worked with her since the time she was nine years old, she was an incredibly talented triple threat who had already started working professionally, but she struggled with really bad depression for the last year and a half and it finally got the better of her. This is the youngest of three artists that have somehow been connected to me that have committed suicide in the last three years. </p>
<p>All of us on this forum have some connection to young artists and I hope that bringing up this topic will keep us all aware of those students who are struggling around us. I feel like its something many of us don’t think about until a tragedy like this hits. Part of my intake form asks students what medications they are on, since those can seriously affect vocal health and quality. I would say that one-third to one-half of my students are on some sort of psychiatric medication, often for ADD, ADHD, anxiety, or depression. There is an interesting book called “Touched with Fire: Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament” that talks about bipolar disorder amongst artists. Some of these mental illnesses fuel the desire to create and to put oneself out there for others to see. However, there is often a dark side that performers can easily slip into when they don’t get the gig or when the gig they get ends. </p>
<p>I hope I never have to perform at another funeral for a student, especially one that young. It was one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever done. Hug your children, tell them you love them, and please help all of the young performers that your work with seek help if they need it. It takes a village to cultivate an artist and to support them through the good and the bad.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry. Two of my three children are mentally ill, and it breaks my heart. I never would have guessed that suicide would be something I’d have to worry about. To have to ask, “How serious about it IS he? Is he just thinking about the idea theoretically, or thinking about carrying it out? Is it time to call his doctor?”</p>
<p>The worst thing is that no matter what you do, it might not be enough. I hope your wife knows not to beat herself up about it.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry for you loss. But thank you for making us aware so we can more mindful of those around us. It is indeed a significant problem in our society which needs to be out in the open. Thinking of you and all those affected by this tragedy.</p>
<p>Thank you so much. Hug your kids. Let them know that no matter what they do or don’t do, if they “make it” or not, if they decide to stay in his field or not, if they “get the part” or “get into that school” - or not - we love them and are there for them no matter what. VT, I am so sorry your family has had to deal with this. </p>
<p>I am so sorry for your family’s loss, @VoiceTeacher. You are so thoughtful and generous with your expertise here, and I am sure your wife is the same with her students, so I can imagine how painful this is.</p>
<p>It is a very stressful world that our kids are entering, with very high highs and many lows as well. For example, how many professions routinely involve adults publicly criticizing youngsters in newspapers (bad reviews) or high-stress job hunting every few months? I don’t doubt that many of our kids are at the very least addicted to adrenaline.</p>
<p>Thank you for sharing your excellent reminders, and know that we’re sending love your direction.</p>
<p>So sorry to hear this. Our now adult, very artistic, non-MT S has been struggling with this since early teens. Despite everything we do to help and support him, I have often wondered if we will be the next to walk in those parents’ shoes. Young people on the medications mentioned above often “graduate” to other substances and behaviors, often with life-altering - or life-ending - results.</p>
<p>I am so very sorry for your tragic loss. Thank you for sharing this.</p>
<p>It is a very important issue. Many parents or teachers with children who have these issues are afraid of sharing because a) they feel they’re the only ones to be suffering like this and b) they feel they will be judged and/or want privacy. I hope that as we all discuss this more openly, these fears will go away.</p>
<p>My oldest S had a very bad several years and thankfully is now recovered (at age 25). He is no longer in acting. I do have something to add, and I am saying this <em>not</em> to attack any particular program but to really hope people consider this as a factor: it is a plain fact that there are BFA programs that are less sensitive to these issues, and some that are more sensitive. And it is also a fact that some programs are in fact run in such a way that they contribute to the problem-- for the individual student. It is <em>very</em> individual. Know your child. Do not compare your own child’s reaction with another child. If your child already has issues with depression or other serious mood disorders, do not follow my mistake: Please please consider these issues in selecting a program. Do not hope they will go away because your child will be happier doing what he/she loves. Also, your child is not necessarily the best judge of how he/she will be. I let my S persuade me that a school would be perfect for him against my better judgment. I should have listened to my own life experience, not a 17 year old’s naive enthusiasm. </p>
<p>Again, this is <em>not</em> a comment on a particular program. I know in the past commentators have gotten defensive about their own school. That’s not what this is about. It’s about knowing your child and taking their needs into account when choosing a BFA program and making sure it has supports in place for him/her, and is not run in a way that runs a risk of making your child worse. Your child is not alone, as VoiceTeacher so eloquently points out.</p>
<p>@connections - you make a very valid point, and that is why the notion of “fit” is so important. Our kids are young, and may not have clear knowledge/judgement of their strengths and weaknesses- that is still a part of our role as parents. That is why research, and visiting, and making a measured decision as a family is so important. And also, I think there is a danger is assuming that because program X works beautifully for one person- that it will work for another, OR that if program X was a problem for one person, that it will be a problem for another- everyone is different</p>
<p>I agree that connections makes a valid point. For some kids with mental health issues, the environment/school in which they attend can turn out to be a contributing factor. I suppose if they were going to have these issues, they might no matter where they attend college, but the setting could end up being a mitigating factor. I know it was for your son, connections. My daughter’s best friend from years of theater camp, got into a myriad of top BFA in MT programs and attended one of the best regarded ones (not my D’s school, though she got in there too). She also developed mental health issues at her program, and while I am not her parents, from what I could tell, the program’s atmosphere was likely a contributing factor. Like your son, connections, she eventually chose to leave the program. She ultimately (though not right away) transferred to an Ivy League school and graduated and is doing well, though did not pursue theater any longer as a career, though she was super passionate and talented back when applying to college. </p>
<p>“She also developed mental health issues at her program, and while I am not her parents, from what I could tell, the program’s atmosphere was likely a contributing factor.”</p>
<p>soozievt, can you expand on this statement? What kind of issues? And what would be the contributing factors?</p>
<p>Please, friends, do not broadcast your personal belief about medication as if it was sound medical advice unless you are a board certified MD, in which case you already know better than to do so here. </p>
<p>However much you may believe it based on your own anecdotal observations, the suggestion that patients taking appropriately prescribed medicine to treat mental illness “often graduate to other substances and behaviors” is profoundly dangerous. The worst thing we can do is increase stigma with this sort of well-meaning remark that might discourage patients and their families from seeking aid from psychopharmacologists. It is already very difficult for teens and young adults to step out of the specter of shame to find effective treatment which, according to a raft of available peer-reviewed scientific studies, is a combination of medication and talk therapy (CBT or DBT). </p>
<p>Nobody would dream of making such a remark about diabetes or heart disease medications. Illness is illness and should only be treated by board certified physicians practicing evidence-based medicine. I know that no harm is meant and don’t wish to go back and forth. As someone with very intimate knowledge of this subject I can assure you that avoiding or interrupting treatment with medication is actually what correlates with greater risk of self-harm. Anti-depressants and mood-stabilizers are not gateway drugs. They are life savers.</p>
<p>Sorry, I misspoke. I meant that some young people with the issues mentioned above - whether diagnosed or undiagnosed, medicated or not - often graduate to other substances and behaviors. There are <em>many</em> people out there who “self-medicate” with all kinds substances/behaviors - legal and illegal, prescribed and unprescribed, in foods and drinks, through physical exercise and dangerous thrill-seeking. Colleges are hotbeds for “sharing” prescription medications, even providing a hefty supplemental income. Mega-caffinated energy drinks (with and w/o alcohol) sales are soaring. A little something to keep me focused, or take the edge off or pick-me-up, becomes a way to wake up and go to sleep, or just to make it through the day. The professions “artsy” kids go into have odd hours, are full of judgement from others and would provoke anxiety in anyone. For performance-driven, creative 17 - 22 y-olds who have executive function/focusing issues, anxiety, depression, bi-polar tendencies, the slope can be very slippery. I - and many families I know - live with the effects daily. Some make it through to the other side. Some don’t. We keep looking for the light. Sometimes there’s a bit of a glow. I like to believe it’s getting stronger, but all it takes is one “accident”.</p>
<p>I didn’t read what mom4bwayboy said in that way, vocal1046, although I hear your concern. I heard the emphasis more on other behaviors, and also there is certainly the fear of them succumbing to using strong illegal drugs and alcohol while at college on top of the prescribed drug. Certainly easy access to drugs might be a consideration when considering location/environment. It depends on your child. Another consideration is the health center your college has, its accessibility, cost, how closely it works with students, and also how expensive and accessible mental health services are at the college and what sorts of doctors are staffed there. If your son/daughter plans on using a mental health professional, it’s best to set something up beforehand, ideally before school starts. In my own S’s case, he scrambled to find an affordable person, and just couldn’t. Most of the people covered were very inexperienced and/or overburdened and just tossed him different drugs without monitoring him or talking to him. I ended up paying to have him take the train home every two weeks so he could see the doctor at our home town (this doctor we had to pay for out of pocket). </p>
<p>The main thing I would have done differently is not to go into a sort of wishful thinking/denial approach that I did. </p>
<p>Fair enough. I may have misread. A bit of a raw nerve. A big risk for a kid with any chronic illness leaving home is that treatment regimens that worked well under the family roof can be derailed at school. Consistent routines are disrupted or abandoned under the belief that taking medication is a sign of weakness or is no different from illicit drug use. Prescriptions run out. Doses are missed. As illness resurges the kid can get overwhelmed and want to prove that s/he can manage without treatment. It’s a bad road to go down, whatever the diagnosis. I know of kids whose well-controlled diabetes ran wild at college and scuttled Freshman year. </p>
<p>Depression is particularly tricky to monitor and parents used to reading their kids in person can be pacified by a good performance over the phone - even in person - especially if the kid is an actor. The greatest danger is that we and our children do not acknowledge the following information from the NIH, which clarifies how common the illness is and how dangerous it can be if left untreated:</p>
<p>"In 2011, the American College Health Association–National College Health Assessment (ACHA–NCHA) —a nationwide survey of college students at 2- and 4-year institutions—found that about 30 percent of college students reported feeling “so depressed that it was difficult to function” at some time in the past year.</p>
<p>Depression is also a major risk factor for suicide. Better diagnosis and treatment of depression can help reduce suicide rates among college students. In the Fall 2011 ACHA–NCHA survey, more than 6 percent of college students reported seriously considering suicide, and about 1 percent reported attempting suicide in the previous year. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for teens and young adults ages 15 to 24.9." </p>
<p>Profoundly sad to hear of suicide in children as young as your wife’s student @VoiceTeacher or the 12 year old cheerleader in California whose suicide was reported this week. Profoundly sad.</p>
<p>So sorry for your loss @VoiceTeacher. I can relate to the concerns raised by @vocal1046. I am raising an artist with depression and bipolar disorder. She has survived a number of suicide attempts so not a day goes by that my mind does not visit all of the “what ifs.” She does very well when being very vigilant about self-care (taking medication, seeing a therapist, getting proper sleep, avoiding unnecessary stress, exercising and eating well) but less well when one of the legs of the stool is out of balance. I have read “Touched With Fire…” and other literature about the connection between the emotional/mental disorders and the artistic temperament in an attempt to understand how best to help my child now and into adulthood. I admit the process of looking for colleges and programs is very different for me with this child than it was for my first. There is so much more to consider as we consider programs where she will be challenged but not crushed. One of my main priorities of this last year preceding college is helping my child hone self-awareness and self-care skills to a fine point. If she is able to recognize and appreciate the signs of oncoming issues (and so far, from the outside looking in, the signs are there if you know what to look for), she will be better able to reach out and ask for help and/or use some of the other coping skills in her arsenal. </p>
<p>@artskids - these are some of the same issues we deal with for non-MT, artistic S. In January, he will be returning to school after an 8-month “derailment”- exacerbated in part by his near-campus living environment during sophomore year (freshman year he lived at home and commuted). As a senior in HS, he was accepted to several fine schools, but we felt that living far from home would not end well (surprisingly, this “rebellious” S put up no resistance to attending lesser-known hometown school). After past 8 months back at home, getting regular meals and exercise, he feels ready to face school again, but will be commuting from home - where things are “safer” (S’s choice). H and I have had to institute some parameters that most college students would have nothing to do with, but strange as it seems, the “swaddling” appears to be what he has been “crying out for” for a long time - w/o him, or us, realizing it might be a crucial support he needs to grow. Things are far from smooth, but here’s hoping the second try is more successful than the first. Good luck to you and D as you make this decision - and to all facing similar issues.</p>