Mental Meltdown Crises

<p>Anyone else just completely at the peak of stress? And it's not just because of school, but because of money problems and homesickness. I'm constantly freaking out about the cost of attending school and whether or not I should drop out since my grandparents are the ones paying for my education. I just have this enormous guilt and I sometime just completely shut down for some weird reason. My family is going through hard times and we don't even have a permanent home, so I'm basically working on the side and paying my rent to survive. I barely buy food because I'm scared that I will lose all of my money, which led to my 10-15 lbs weight-loss my first semester. I'm just so sick of everything and the littlest things are getting to me. Ugh. Anyone else just completely on the edge right now? Or over the edge for some, I guess...</p>

<p>First, calm down and take a deep breath. What year of school are you in and where are you attending school? I am assumming your grandparents who are paying your tuition can probably afford to do so or they wouldn't be doing it. When you say your family does not "even have a permanent home" what exactly does that mean? Are your parents living with your grandparents, renting an apartment, or are they homeless? Please provide more info about your situation such as your major and how far you are from home. There may be more help available if your situation was clearer. Are you receiving financial aid in addition to the help of your grandparents?</p>

<p>Please find people on your campus to talk to so that you aren't feeling all alone with this. I can guarantee there are lots of college students feeling a lot of stress. Money, family, grades, the idea of graduating and finding work, relationship issues, etc. It builds. This is a fun time, but also a very busy and stressful time of life, and it's ok to need a sounding board for thinking through how to handle the stresses. You need to eat, and you need to sleep and exercise to stay healthy. Good food doesn't need to be expensive; pasta is cheap and will help you keep weight, chop up veggies and chicken into it. You could have a few meals for lunches or dinners for the week with a couple chicken breasts, a box of pasta, some cheese to sprinkle on it, a bit of oil, or better yet, a jar of pasta sauce, and chopped broccoli, or green pepper, or whatever you like. Shop at less expensive places around you to help. If you aren't eating, it really can negatively effect your thinking ability and mood, which won't help. Please know this too will pass, you just have to have faith. Talk to your family realistically. If they need you to, could you attend school part time and work a little more for a while? That could be an option that would help you not feel so guilty, and help financially for the people helping you. Good luck - everyone needs help now and then, so just ask!</p>

<p>I will pm you - but the short answer is go to the college counseling center.</p>

<p>Thanks for such thoughtful answers, everyone.</p>

<p>I'm only a a freshman at Penn State. My grandparents are very wealthy because they own the comfort inn hotels, but my parents are not in very good position. I have an older sister in college, as well. My parents basically have no money because of debt and lack of jobs for the past decade. They keep telling me not to worry and just go to school, but I keep thinking that I'm going to end up just like them because that is exactly what they did. The came to America and "lived life to the fullest," but now they have nothing. After I moved out for college, they sold the house and used that money to pay off the huge debt. They also said they were going to use that money to pay off my sister's debt.</p>

<p>I'm actually not even from PA. We're originally from WA state and my grandparents urged me to go to school (I was going to opt for community college) because none of our family members are ambitious and really made a career for themselves. But now that I'm in school, I just feel this strong pressure that everything depends on me, like I'm the one that everyone is counting on for getting a job that pays well so I can help my parents and my sister. My dad keeps making phone calls about how I need to be the best in school and how I have to pick a major that makes money and all sorts of stuff. But the truth it...I'm absolutely miserable trying to be someone I am not. I don't even know why I am here wasting away my grandparent's money. And the one area that I genuinely love to study (film, tv, broadcast journalism, media) is totally looked down upon by my dad. I really wanted to go to University of Southern California, but I couldn't go because I was TOO SCARED of wasting my grandparents money even though they said they would help me. I don't know what's wrong with me...this entire situation with family money really got to me.</p>

<p>I worked so hard last semester to balance my grades and work and I did well because I got a 3.73 gpa. But after I found out my parents just sold our i have nowhere to come home to. Nowhere. My sister will be going to grad school, so she wont have a place that I can consider my "home." My mom is out of state in Missouri working with her parents to earn extra cash, and so is my dad in California. Everything is just so broken up and it's really making me upset when my friends invite me to their homes. It's just hard to let things go, especially if everything you had is now gone. Also, during my freshman year, my dog that I loved to death ran away from home after one of my neighbors took her to the dog park without our permission, which really upset me for quite some time.</p>

<p>All I keep thinking about it what happens now? What happens when the money that my parents got from selling the house is used on our education? What happens to them? We wont have a house to come home to. It's like they just threw us out and are making us deal with life at such an early age. It's just so overwhelming. I got off the phone with my mom last night and she really helped me. I told her how I feel about everything here and how I feel that everyone is putting pressure on me to be this person I'm not and that I had to give up a place I wanted to be. My mom keeps insisting me to just stop thinking about the money and work hard in school, and I try. I even talked to my grandparents about this and they told me that to stop worrying and transfer to another school if that makes me happier, but I don't even know if that will. Academically, I'm doing fine here, but I don't think school is for me at this age. Maybe I'm just overreacting, though.</p>

<p>This entire stress with money prevents me from going to the supermarket. Literally, the only foods I have in fridge are milk, eggs, and grapes. I've even lost my appetite and work endlessly on schoolwork because I keep telling myself that to be successful and help my family out that I need to be working this hard every second of the day.</p>

<p>I like to think I'm doing perfectly fine, but I've reached the pinnacle of stress. I'm not perfect. I'm not okay. And being far from the west coast is just not helping when everything is falling apart. I told my grandparents about attempting to transfer to USC and they told me it is fine and encouraged me to do it, so I applied and got all it out of my way so I can focus on this semester. I'm really trying my best to just not listen to my dad's pressure. I guess I just really miss being close to my family at the most difficult time. I need to be with them. At this point, I just hope the transfer will go smoothly. I just hate the idea that I have to depend on my grandparents because I feel that I am literally stealing all of their money. Am I overreacting about all of this?</p>

<p>Just try to do well in school, by the time you graduate the economy won't be so bad, and you'll find you'll be able to find a job. Don't stress too much about your career, you can and probably will change jobs every 3-5 years. Journalism/media jobs have wide range of career options so you'll be able to find something you like.
Also, you're only a freshman. You'll get used to it soon enough. A few more semesters and you'll wonder why you were stressing that much.</p>

<p>You will have enough money once you work a few years to support your parents if you want, and if you feel like it, start paying back your grandparents.</p>

<p>And don't be so cheap buying food. It's very expensive when you become sick (hospital costs, wasted time, poor grades). Staying healthy by eating well is one of the best things you can do to save money in the long run.</p>

<p>Did I mention that going to the college counseling office could help?? You are not responsible for your grandparents decision to help you. You are not responsible for your dads expectations. You are responsible for you!!! Find someone in a worse position than you, with less money and help them.</p>

<p>I am in the middle of an ocean of stress right now. I'm taking three weeder courses and two other normal-workload courses. I have two major assignments due tomorrow. I could go on and on but I'd rather do something about it than type about it (not ragging on anybody here).</p>

<p>It's very common to be in very stressful situations during these hard economic times, and it's perfectly okay to vent.</p>

<p>I wouldn't feel guilty about your grandparents are paying your tuition if they can clearly afford it and since you're doing really well. Be proud of yourself.</p>

<p>Having no home to go back to is not a problem. Most college kids purposely don't even go back home during breaks. It's a good time to practice breaking out of the nest too because the real world will hit hard (I heard) once college ends. You're doing it a little earlier than most but that's okay! This experience will only make you stronger in the long run.</p>

<p>You can pursue whatever major you like and still go into journalism/media if you pursue internships in that field. A good starting point is doing whatever you can to get into a student publication and try to get a leadership role. You can also start your own if that's not too much to manage. Maybe start a blog and build your portfolio that way.</p>

<p>Even if you start off in a career you hate because it pays well, you can always transition later on provided you acquire transferable skills, so keep an eye towards opportunities that would allow you to get those skills.</p>

<p>Force yourself to meet with career services (even as a freshman) to take advantage of resume/cover letter critiques, alumni interviews, informational interviews, socials, etc. In this day and age, connections matter a LOT in getting a first interview. Never go a summer without an internship, and choose your internships strategically so future employers in your field will find them appealing. Your sense of security about the future will improve if you take small proactive steps about it now. Seriously, don't wait another day... literally set up an appointment with career services right now for tomorrow. If you are strategic about how you plan the next 4 years, you will win this game.</p>

<p>Another thing...most people end up not doing what they originally loved and that's okay. They learn what the market demands and realize there are just not enough jobs in those fields to make them worth slaving over to break into. They learn to love other things and make those jobs work. There are just so many possibilities out there, possibly a lot you haven't even considered. Jobs with the greatest job security though are: medicine, healthcare (physician assistantship, nursing, physical/occupational therapy, speech-language pathology, dental hygiene), maybe accounting, maybe higher ed administration. A lot of people also teach overseas, most likely Asia.</p>

<p>Good luck, you can do this!</p>

<p>You have a lot going on right now and it is understandable to be stressed. I think after you have your assignments done you should go to the campus counseling center and speak with someone.
Just know that your family must love you very much to be paying for college and making sacrafices. They want the best future for you possible and that is admirable. I am sure they don't realize that by doing so they are adding to your stress. Remember they are adults and make the decisions they do on their own. I think of how many people I know that their parents have saved no money for college funds or lost it during these tough times. These kids are expected to go get loans and still attend 4 year universities.
And home is really about when you gather together, not an actual building..
Please don't be so hard on yourself and seek out the counseling center on campus.</p>

<p>in my experience, the more I worry, the worse I perform. Just don't be too hard on yourself and don't stress yourself out.</p>

<p>This is why people look up to role models and mimic them instead of looking down at failures and do the opposite of what they do (I'm not calling your parents failures, at all).</p>

<p>I completely understand your pressure. But you need to channel that energy into motivation, not guilt.</p>

<p>Also, if your grandparents are super rich, they probably can't spend all that money in their lifetimes. You're doing them a favor by putting that money to good use - an education. Not only that, they are investing and pumping money into the economy and helping this country get out of a recession instead of sitting on the cash like most millionaires. You should be proud!!!</p>