A point of dispute has arisen over my personal statement. My long term goal for study/research is neuropsychopharmacology - an interest sparked a few years ago when I read an article about the nearly miraculous results being observed for veterans with PTSD when they are treated with MDMA. More and more studies are coming out and I believe this field unbelievable promise for all sorts of intractable brain disorders. So my general statement of interest is “The development of neuroactive compounds for the treamenet of brain disorders.”
There was even a recent 60 Minutes story about this, so I didn’t consider the topic to be controversial. I mentioned my initial interest being sparked by the PTSD article and one reviewer reacted very negatively to including any mention of MDMA or other specific neuroactive compunds, never mind to my follow on sentence about doing so much research on MDMA, psilocybin, and ketamine that my mom finally had a “concerned - what’s going on” conversation with me (which I sort of thought was an indicator of my deep dive into this topic).
So do I need to sanitize here? I can just say “PTSD/brain disorders treated with neuroactive compunds.” To my eyes, that seems incomplete and a little silly. But maybe I’m being naive here. Would love your input.
I don’t think you are sanitizing it as much as making it clear that you are interested in brain disorders… without getting overly specific about the who/what/how.
By the time you get to college the “miraculous results” could end up being a fluke, or faked, or both. By the time you get to college, the research focus could have shifted away from MDMA and towards something else.
Don’t box yourself in. You can be interested in brain disorders without having to write a research abstract… the focus of the essay is YOU, not showing how much you know about ketamine. Being overly specific about the treatment protocols tells Adcom’s lots about brain pharmacology and NOTHING about you.
Wow - amazing advice. I really see how to restructure this now. It’s more “brain disorders are among the most recalcitrant of diseases, treated mostly by hit or miss medicines that sometimes do more harm than good. But recent innovations suggest that there is hope in new classes of drugs. I want to be there.” Yes?
Why are you interested in brain disorders? You don’t need to be telling a group of educated people (adcom’s) that brain disorders are recalcitrant. You need to be telling them WHY you find the topic fascinating and WHO you are as a person, member of society, potential student on their campus.
OK thanks. I clearly don’t get this game at all. When I read your reply all I could think is “I’m interested in brain disorders because they’re so damned interesting.” It’s not because my uncle suffered with PTSD. It’s not because of my (non-existent) volunteer experiences in a VA hospital (PTSD) or a mental health clinic (depression) or a prison (substance abuse and all of the above). It’s just that I find the reports on progress treating all of the above so inspiring and interesting and I guess that’s just not enough for these cursed essays.
I do NOT mean to be snarky at all. I’m just disappointed in myself for being so block-headed. I really do appreciate your help in putting the brakes on another misguided attempt - before I spent 2 days writing the wrong essay again!
Is the essay question about what you’re interested in ? Otherwise one needn’t write about that. You can write about why you love sushi or why McDonald’s iced tea is better than Dunkin Donuts.
Not sure your topic is controversial but I wouldn’t write about things that might offend someone or that highlight a personal weakness that might require support from a school.
It is supposed to be about what I’m interested in. You raise a good point, but I wouldn’t write about a personal brain disorder experience (even if I had to suffer with that - which thank goodness I do not).
I will add that I DO think that you should avoid mention of any drugs that are used recreationally. Fair or not, there is a stigma.
There is a group of non-neuroscientists who are interested in neuroscience, but primarily how it can be used to justify their fondness for drugs that are used recreationally (e.g., cannabis, hallucinogens, ketamine, etc). It’s a whole thing, and it can be really annoying for neuroscientists. The fervor of the fans can get in the way of unbiased scientific inquiry regarding therapeutic uses. You don’t want the possibilty of being lumped in with that group in an adcom’s mind, even though they don’t have specialized knowledge in that subject.
Cool topic, and like I said, not fair if someone is judgmental. But such an interest can raise eyebrows. If you’re going to discuss neuropsychopharmacology, I’d steer clear of mentioning drugs that are controversial due to recreational use.
It’s perfectly fine to be interested in something because you find it cool or weird or incongruous or something else. It doesn’t need to be about a non existent uncle.
But describe why YOU find it interesting. Don’t write about a scientific topic as if you are lecturing a group of freshman. Guarantee you that one of your readers knows more about the subject than you do!
No need to despair!
Since your inspiration seems to come from the complexity and the possibility of finding solutions, you could focus on that.
You will write something much better that is authentic to you, but just as an example, here is what an LLM spit out:
I’ve always loved puzzles—the messier and more mysterious, the better. And to me, the brain is the ultimate one. It controls everything from why we laugh at bad jokes to how we remember our grandmother’s voice. When something goes wrong, like in Alzheimer’s or epilepsy, it’s like a beautiful machine misfiring in ways we barely understand. I’m fascinated by that mystery—and energized by the idea that one day, I could help piece things back together
My son’s main essay was about a couple of his super niche interests, and why he liked them despite the fact that they probably seem useless and silly to nearly everyone else. He mentioned that he didn’t understand why he liked those things in particular, but described in specific detail the satisfaction he gets out of immersing himself in the minutiae of those particular interests.
I think it worked really well. It was easy for him to write and his enthusiasm shone through because it was genuine. Whatever it is that gets you excited, you can talk about (with a few exceptions).
To me, PTSD and depression are issues that we have heard about a lot. This is real. These are real problems for a lot of people.
There has been quite a bit of improvement in terms of how modern medicine is able to help people with these problems. A variety of medicines (drugs) is a big part of this improvement.
But we are a long way from solving the problem. One issue is that which medicine will be most effective in any particular case is apparently very hard or impossible to predict. There appears to be a “try this and see if it works” approach, and if it doesn’t work then try something else. It would be a lot better if we could predict more accurately what is likely to work in any particular case. It is easy to believe that there is potential for new drugs to help a lot more people. However, the chemistry of the brain, and how this relates to feelings and memories and stress, is a complex issue to try to understand.
I think that you might want to be careful how you write about this. However, there are a lot of people who could use a lot of help, and frankly I think that this is a tough enough problem that quite a few people could have good careers if they are able to work towards solutions that help people.
And it sounds to me as if your motivation here includes the desire to help people.
I am not sure how much you need to go into any particular compound or drug. Which drug or combination of drugs seems most promising is something that could change multiple times between now and when you get your bachelor’s degree, and again several times before you get any graduate degree if you go that route in the future.
Is this for the common app personal statement? Have you read examples for the various prompts you can choose from? If not, look at college essay guy’s site for sample essays (also good for free essay brainstorming exercises), Hamilton essays that worked, JHU’s essays that worked
I wouldn’t shy away from your actual interests. In a graying population with implications for Alzheimer’s, dementia, PTSD as you’ve mentioned, etc., these emerging alternative approaches are timely, important and a legitimate area worthy of inquiry.
Bottom line is, its interesting to you because its interesting to you for reasons that you should communicate authentically. I suspect you will do so in a way that allows your true intellectual curiosity to shine through. Authentic interest shouldn’t offend, nor portray you as some sort of dope fiend.
Beats the heck out of the mountain of white-washed, sanitized, careful, obviously consulted product that these poor readers have to sift through. Don’t rush it. think it through and be true.
I think you are trying too hard. Keep the focus on you and tell your story. You are not writing a research paper.
Sit down with a pen and paper and start jotting down notes. Write down things you like and why you like them, write about memories you have, activities that cheer you up, your love of mystery books in 3rd grade, how Play-Doh always fascinated you, etc.
You can certainly include your love of brain disorders.. but it should be about you and how you came to this realization, why you find it interesting.
It’s your story, not a research paper or presentation at a conference.
Thanks DadTwoGirls. Your comments are exactly in line with how I think about this. In my first draft, I talked about how frustrating the “hit or miss” approach to treatment is right now, especially since it can end up doing as much harm as good. Never mind the false hope it offers to patients. And I am frustrated by the stigma attached to these drugs - and the fact that the real scientists are held back from legitimate research that could be life-altering or even life-saving for desperate patients.
That said - even my good faith efforts here have raised suspicions. I have to find a different way to talk about this interest I think. But then it’s not going to sound genuine - because it won’t be. Maybe I’ll pick a different topic.
Thanks, Mwfan1021. Yes - the common app personal statement. I worked through these prompts with my school college counselor. She recommended that since I have such a well-developed, focused interest, it would be good to talk about it. That made sense to me at the time.
I read through some of the college essay guy’s samples and (just coincidentally I’m sure) three in a row of them used the word “elucidate.” I just don’t write that way - no judgment to people who do! Thanks for the other links. I will definitely check them out.
Thanks twogirls. True story: in third grade I wrote a scathing review of the Magic Treehouse books. I found them unbearably predictable. But a real question: I have always done the deep, deep dive in my areas of interest over the years. I knew a ridiculous amount about deep sea creatures. I could give you the specs on every Italian supercar. I was intense with Magic the Gathering and could suss out an opponent’s strategy after the first couple plays and spot a card that would hold its trading value even before I played it. But those interests are well in the past - fond memories now. Isn’t that just stuff I’ve abandoned and that doesn’t show anything useful to the AOs? (I hate that I know that acronym).
Those are actually great things to include in your essay!! It’s not about being “useful,” it’s about sharing who you are. That doesn’t mean you have to abandon your interest in the brain- you can certainly include it!
OK thanks. I clearly don’t get this game at all. When I read your reply all I could think is “I’m interested in brain disorders because they’re so damned interesting.” It’s not because my uncle suffered with PTSD. It’s not because of my (non-existent) volunteer experiences in a VA hospital (PTSD) or a mental health clinic (depression) or a prison (substance abuse and all of the above). It’s just that I find the reports on progress treating all of the above so inspiring and interesting and I guess that’s just not enough for these cursed essays.