I’m a freshman in an IGCSE & IB high school, and ever since I was in 6th grade, my goal was to get into an IVY league.
I’ve done amazing in 7th & 8th and all the years before that, but 9th grade killed me.
I joined a new school (where I did not fit in), I got distracted, and I messed up big time. I mean, my self esteem blew because of the people in my school, my parents war never proud of me, developed an ED, and just wasted a bunch of precious time. I mean I knew my goals, but I still messed up & that hurts me sooo much. Idk how I could do that.
This year, i’ve disappointed my parents so much, i’ve disappointed myself too, and it’s just been disgusting for me.
For example, my final grades this year are: 4 As and 4 Bs, which is not what I usually get(Im an A+ honor roll student). On top of that I failed the only AP course I took this year, and didn’t do too well on the PSAT (180) I know these scores might look good to some of you, but for the amount of money, time, and effort my parents put into my education it’s horrible. I know i’m going to take my igcse exams in 10th grade, and I will put all my sincere efforts into that next academic year, but how do I get over the trauma I inflected upon myself this year. My parents give me the vibes that they’ve just given up, and all the children that they know are doing so well, so you can imagine how upset they are
I need to turn myself around 180 degrees, and I need the motivation, because my past is shitty, and I won’t have much support cuz my parent’s are done with me…
Why is getting the grades to attend an Ivy League so important to you and your parents? Sounds like the problem isn’t getting a few Bs, or being at a new school, but rather investing so much of your personal identity into attending an elite college.
Well because it counts.
I mean, yes it’s passion but it’s also perseverance, in aspects like grades. Yes, I do things I love like public speaking and singing for myself, but a large part of what I do is to get selected into my desired college, to fulfill my dreams. Ivy leagues have always been something that I was fond of, and it’s just the fact that I messed up 9th grade, by getting bad grades & over stressing that are lowering my chances of achieving my dream.
I have some simple advice for you: stop thinking about Ivy Leagues.
High school grades do not define you. Where you go to college does not define you.
It is obvious that the pressure is burning you out, and if you burn out freshman year, there is not much hope for future years. Your parents should be very proud of you. Focus on learning. Focus on going to college (not Ivy Leagues). Focus on finding out what you truly like to do (not for college admissions strategy).
Also, please don’t be offended, but have you considered counseling? You said in a previous thread you developed an eating disorder and “got over it”. I truly think you might benifit from it.
It wasn’t too much. & Plus it was lightly diagnosed. I’m over that stage now, i’m at a better mental state & the reason to that is my motivation to excel in my academics in my life.
I’ve really hit rock bottom in every single way.
It’s just that I was put into a really overwhelming mental state this year, and I want to get out of it starting with grades, fitness, mental health, positivity, being social etc etc.
I just believe that improving my grades & getting back on track with my previous academic standards, plays a huge role in my happiness, and it’s something I am capable of doing.
In 10th grade i’m gonna pace myself & not overwhelm myself too much. I need to stop procastinating, and really start to be positive.
I need to do this & I Just need support ig, because it’s hard to handle all these emotions myself That’s why i’m reaching out.
I would agree with the folks that have chimed in so far. If you are so stressed out about getting some Bs in your freshman year, and you consider yourself “hitting rock bottom”, your expectations might be too high for your own good health? When you are this obsessed with obtaining “the grade” and getting “the dream school”, as noble as your intentions are, you sacrifice “true learning and finding your passion” in high school and also “selecting the best fit” in college.
Your goals should be to get the best grades possible without being too grade conscious that it becomes detrimental to your health; and to find the best possible college that is the closest fit to your wants (i.e. major/interest, college size, location, feel, etc). If it happens to be an Ivy league school, great, if not at it happens to be Northwestern, or Goergetown, or U Chiago or Wash U, then great, too! It indicates that you are not letting up on your ambition, but you have gone beyond “the brand name” and you are now selecting the best school that fits you, not just the school that has a name. The Ivys are all so different, that when someone says “I just want to go to an Ivy school”, it suggest that they are in it for name and not for the most mature reasons.
I would also agree with the suggestion of seeking a counselor. This does not mean that you are crazy or you need medication. It does not even mean that you are clinically depressed. But clinical psychologists are professionals who are trained to be objective and give their patients/clients the most objective advice so that they can function with their day to day lives as easy and as meaningful as possible. They will teach you how to compartmentalize your emotions, how to set up realisitic and productive goals, and how to deal with your emotions when things don’t go your way. It can only be helpful…
well I have a couple observations for you as a hs senior graduating next Friday. Some of it is going to hurt a little bit but I want to be entirely honest with you. First a little bit of background on me. I applied to 28 schools including Stanford, the Ivies, Chicago, UC’s, top LAC’s, Duke etc… and was rejected by all of them except UCLA the lower UC’s and Rice. I’ll be going to Rice next year and feel really happy cause it’s a great school etc… BUT what you need to realize is that I’m a kid who was exactly like you Freshman year (although I wanted to go to Stanford but same idea) and I got into only one of the top schools in the country and I got lucky because I got off of the waitlist and had an amazing senior year with additional information that I could send them. So here we go.
This is going to be the hardest one to take but you need to hear it. Freshman year is a joke. Compared to Sophomore year it is about half as hard and Sophomore year doesn’t hold a candle to Junior or Senior year. Personally, I had everything for the top colleges except the grades. So much so that Duke, Columbia, and UPenn emailed me and said that they wanted me to reapply as a transfer applicant after my Freshman year because I had
all the makings of an excellent candidate but the transcript remains the most important aspect of our evaluation and with improved collegiate grades we would be inclined to strongly reconsider you." I had 5 B’s total when I applied, four coming Junior year and one sophomore. I didn’t do anything freshman year and finished with above a 95 in every class and I was taking the hardest possible classes. If you had a breakdown it is very unlikely that you will be able to handle the difficult coursework in upper level AP and IB writing and hard science courses like chem, physics, and calculus. I went from a 98 in honors Freshman math, a 100 in Honors sophomore math, to an 89 in honors junior math, to a 70 in AP Calculus BC. The level of performance demanded is not comparable across the years so you need to do some serious soul-searching and ask yourself whether or not you really are going to be able to perform at a level competitive enough to gain admission to the top schools because if you can not, all you are going to do is ruin your high school experience and cause your family a significant amount of stress.
get past the Ivy League. Stupid name brand to be entirely honest. I’ve done a significant amount of research into the colleges to which I applied and have come the conclusion that I would have gone to Stanford and Chicago over any of the Ivies, Duke over all but HYP, and Georgetown, Rice, and the top LAC’s over Penn, Cornell, and Dartmouth. The best undergraduate education you can get is probably at the University of Chicago, Swarthmore, Williams, Amherst, Bowdoin, Brown, Princeton, and Stanford. Obviously there’s a huge amount of subjectivity in that statement but remember that the Ivy is largely famous because of Harvard, Yale, and Princeton and Harvard and Yale are most-known for their graduate schools. So don’t make a stupid decision if you are lucky enough to get into say an Ivy and Stanford and just choose the Ivy because it’s an Ivy and then find out you’re miserable there. It’s not an uncommon thing for students to transfer out of the Ivy League to lesser schools and wish they had taken an offer from schools like Stanford, Chicago, Duke, LAC’s etc… because they think they would’ve been happier and now are getting a degree from Alabama State instead of UPenn because they hated UPenn.
This one is tough too. Everyone is amazing 7th and 8th grade. I have friends who got nothing but 100’s in 8th grade and are going to state schools and community college because they got their butt kicked in high school. So again evaluate what level you can actually operate at and whether your illnesses were triggered by stress from school or your illnesses caused failure in school because that is an important determination to make.
Your parents need to get that you can be incredibly successful going to schools that aren’t considered the elite of higher education. I was lucky enough to sneak into one at the last second but I have a friend who was only admitted to Stanford and a state school and will be going to the state school because she can’t afford Stanford. I’d bet my degree that she’ll go farther than 80% of Stanford’s graduating class. If you struggle in high school and your parents are too hard on you you might thrive in college. Keep in mind that many state schools send kids to Harvard Law every year so where you get your undergrad isn’t the determining factor as people will care significantly more about where you went to law, medical, business etc… school.
CHILL HOMIE!!! That’s coming from a kid who busted his butt in high school for three years and got a pretty good payoff in the end. It is worth it but at the same time don’t stress about not being as good as you want to be. The idealistic vision we form of ourself isn’t just unrealistic for us, it’s unrealistic for anyone. No one is going to be the best at a sport, debate, drama, and school or whatever your assortment of pursuits may be. Do what you love, get good grades, be nice to people, go to your high school’s football and basketball games and plays and choir performances etc… Enjoy it, because at the end of the day you will
a) perform far better if you aren’t borderline suicide for four years. and more importantly
b) never get these years back. Like really, it sounds cliched, and it is, but high school is a very unique time in life and I am so incredibly happy with how my time went and how much I developed as a person. I’ve experienced so much and learned so much and I’ve seen many of my friends miss out on all of that because they were hyper focused on Stanford, Berkeley, or Harvard. If all ends well you’ll go to a great college and get a great job but you need to remember that these are the years, along with your college years, that will transform you into a person that will become happy or miserable, mean or kind, loving or callous, shallow and superficial or introspective and respectful, and intellectually ambitious or just simply ambitious. Worst case scenario you are the same person in three years that you are today and you end up getting into Princeton or whatever and then have nothing to contribute to campus. Best case scenario you become passionate about something and learn to love whatever life throws at you and you get into Princeton or wherever and become a leader on campus and the shining example of how you should lead your life as a high-achieving 20 year old. I can promise you you’re not going to get there with your nose stuck in a book :).
^What this guy said. If you’re getting wrecked in freshman year, there really isn’t any chance for you to make it up, because it only gets inconceivable harder. But the important thing is that you decide to go to a school independent of its “Ivy Status”. The only reason anyone would want to go to an Ivy for the sake of it is if they want to go into BBIB (and even then Williams, NYU, and UMich beat out many of them percentage-wise.) Lastly, I will repeat that setting your eyes on the Ivy League is a terrible idea. Students with much more impressive records than yours get turned down every year.
I wrecked freshman year, because of my stupidity.
I wrecked it because, I wasn’t in a right mental place, because I was not organized, I didn’t pace myself, I wasn’t wil
ling to work under stress.
In fact, I did have a few successes this year too, like topping my school in Math Olympiad & reaching the state level.
And getting a national rank in the English Olympiad.
I also run a public speaking club which is known to be one of the best.
My charitable fund grew pretty large, and we had a couple of events this year.
I’m not saying this to brag, but i’m saying this to tell you that I do have potential, which I didn’t really use to my fullest this year, so please don’t demotivate me ._.
I know this IVY league thing seems very faux, and stupid, but this did open up my eyes.
I want to get into a really good & impressive college though.
And yes, on my final report card in 9th grade I DID have 3Cs.
But this is the past, right?
If I do work really hard starting NOW, isn’t it doable?
I know my mistakes such as:
Me not working hard enough, and looking for the easy way out all the time
Spending WAY too much time on my laptop, and getting distracted
Surrounding myself with negativity
Not reading my textbook, but instead relying on study guys
Doing everything half-heartedly.
These were the reason to my downfalls ^^ & I am ever so keen on fixing them this year, & i’m going to work hard starting from day 1.
I’m taking pretty good self studying APs next year, as well as my ACTUAL IGCSE exams in 10th grade.
I’m going to pace myself, and work as hard as I can, making sure I don’t wait till the last minute & exhaust myself & get panic attacks.
Ad you are right on the whole faux ivy status part, but I just have this burning desire to step up my game, and work to my best ability.
I really want it to pay off, and I really just want to forget about how stupid I was in freshman year.
Thanks though, you did open up my eyes
I also wouldn’t say freshman year is a piece of cake compared to 10th 11th and 12th it just depends on what classes you take. Stanford and one or two ivies say they don’t look at grades from freshman year which would be good for you. I do think you should stay organized, one thing that helps me is just getting all my home work done as soon as I get home and then spend 10-15 studying for each class. My grades improved in sophomore so I’m sure you can do it too!
Real talk now. As much as I hate being harsh, I do feel the need to. I’d like to let you know something about me so that you don’t completely disregard my comment.
I’m a rising senior and although I’m only 17, due to my dad’s job, I’ve had to live in 6 different countries spread all around different continents. Given that, I totally understand what you’re saying about getting used to a new environment and all. To top if off, my parents had some serious relationship issues, we’ve had hammers flying around, blood spewed across the floor, mirrors shattered, and just an overall day to day warzone in my house. Of course, this hit me hard, and I have had severe depression for a couple years including my freshman, sophomore year. So yes I have had my share of unsatisfactory grades and all. I was that kid who would sweep all the academic awards in my middle school. After a few crappy years, I decided to stand up and I’ve been acing my junior year.
But here’s my point. I realize that you won’t be happy if I say this, but you seem to be blaming your grades and issues on your surroundings. In the real world, they could care less if you had an eating disorder or depression. It’s all about how well you’ve overcome your problems. Don’t expect that your freshman year went bad due to a bad environment and from now on you’re going to do well. Don’t be delusional and think that you’re a top student because you did well in middle school. High school is a different story and if you didn’t do well, it is what it is. Only once you accept your faults and realize that you were never that “ideal student”, will you truly become the successful kid you want to be. Instead of denying your current grades, accept it, and now strive to get better grades. So what if you’re not the smartest kid around. Doesn’t the beauty in education lie in the fact that we can always better ourselves?
I hope I’ve given you a reality check, and now most importantly, quit it with the “I need to make ivies” bull. They won’t accept you anyways if you’re upssessing over it for the name. I don’t care what you’re parents are forcing you to do, and neither should you. One thing I have learned from my experience is that parents are no where near perfect. So what if you’re parents are disappointed in you. Cool it and just move on. I’m not saying you should neglect your parents, but please just you do you. I think your biggest problem isn’t your grades or your ECs. It’s your lack of identity. While reading your post, my impression of you was a lifeless student who thinks grade is everything. Sorry for the long post but in the end, this cliche was all I wanted to say. Find yourself.
@nyxvyaa You seem to have an improved attitude than from the beginning of the thread. I’m not saying it’s not possible to do well; you’ll just have to study a little bit smarter. From what you just listed, you have many good aspects to you outside of school. Good luck next year! If you want to talk more about what life is like in the rest of high school, feel free to ask my email over PM.
Okay - a 180 on the PSAT as a freshman is incredible. I got in the 150’s freshman year and ended up in the top 25 of my class and a 34 ACT with almost no prep. You are going to be fine. I would consider talking to your guidance counselor if your school is still in session though.
I got a 204 on the PSAT my Freshman year and didn’t get into any Ivies so don’t get too excited. What’s your class rank because if you can get good grades from here on the one thing that may still kill you is having a low class rank. You need to aim to be in the top 2% in your class to make it to the elite of the elite now.
hey first of all, i totally understand you wanting to get into the ivies, everyone has their dream college so I don’t know why everyone is bashing you for that. If you sincerely believe that you could have done freshman year better and will do the rest of college better, you’ll be fine. Colleges will focus on your 10-12 years and if you want, you can point out your bad freshman year and show the upward trend from 9th to 12th. However, remember that only 1 out of 10 qualified students gets accepted into those elite colleges so if you’re rejected, that doesn’t mean that you’re a stupid kid.
I’m a sophomore right now. First let me say that I am surprised your school let you take an AP course this year. No disrespect or anything, most freshmen (and sophomores for that matter) aren’t ready for an AP class. They don’t have the study habits and get distracted. You also said that you do all these ECs to get into an Ivy League school. STOP. Do something you like. Last year, I joined all these things that looked “good”. I was involved in multiple non-profits, math competitions, writing competitions etc. and I absolutely hated it. This year I joined a quiz team. I got to go on a TV show on Baltimore’s local channel, WJZ. That was cool. it was something I liked. In your future years, you need to put your mental and physical health before you’re schoolwork. Eating disorders affect your mental and physical health along with your schoolwork. I know you’re “over it” but it can reoccur; it happened to one of my neighbors. Not that pressure isn’t good, but if you feel over-pressured and overwhelmed, drop an AP or IB class. It won’t affect you that much. Keep your chin up, you only have three more years!
Saying you want to get into “An Ivy league” school will be no help and it will hurt you. Princeton is not Brown, Brown is not Cornell, Cornell is not Columbia, Columbia is not Harvard, Harvard is not Yale, Yale is not Penn, Penn is not Dartmouth. All the Ivies have distinctly different personalities, and saying your dream is an ivy is prestige-seeking. What is better is to think about what kind of college you’d like the best. Rural (Dartmouth) or urban(Columbia, Penn, Yale), large(Cornell) or small(Dartmouth), or a million other metrics. If you like Cornell, use similar metrics and find schools like it, a quick search gives you URochester, UMichigan, Tufts, Lehigh,Colgate, Bucknell, Penn State, UVa. Why get hung up on prestige,when there are 4,000 colleges out there that could suit you better than these 8 schools?
Im sorry to say, but there is no point in looking back and pitying yourself for things you could have or “should have” done. Those 4 B’s will instantly knock you out of the ivy league application pool, most likely no matter how hard you try.
That’s why i’m reaching out.