<p>You know “Pigpen” from *Peanuts[/]? That’s me - I can clean my desk and have it (almost) completely organized. Then someone drops something else on it or the mail comes in, and the whole thing explodes! Same at home - no matter how neat I try to be, it all gets away from me. One thing comes into the house that doesn’t already have a logical “place” and I have no idea what to do with it!</p>
<p>And making the bed? Forget it - I never did see the purpose in it, except when I lived in a studio apartment.</p>
<p>But mentally, I’m organized. I can keep things compartmentalized, I know what I need to do (lists drive me nuts!).</p>
<p>My d, on the other hand, has turned out neat! She makes her bed every day, things are organized and put away. I can show up unexpectedly and her apartment looks as if she’d just cleaned it for company (same with her dorm room!).</p>
<p>If the kid didn’t look like me, I’d swear she was switched at birth.</p>
<p>When I am someplace without all the distractions, a hotel, someone else’s house, I am very tidy- its just at home I try & bite off more than I can chew.</p>
<p>My yard however is constantly being patrolled for errant dandelions or tufts of grass. I am out there deadheading flowers everyday. Since the only place with grass is down the middle of the driveway,( and where I’ve planted Japanese blood grass or blue oat grass)there is a lot to keep on top of, including the large planting strip inbetween the sidewalk and the street, I have 14 garden beds, divided by paths or patios. But I get compliments daily from passersby, maybe if I constantly had strangers telling me how shiny my mirrors were or how spotless my floors I would be more motivated to work more inside. ( but winter is long & life is short)</p>
<p>In the 3rd grade my S’s teacher complained about his messy desk and told us how it would hamper him in life. I told her he came from a long line of messy desk offenders and if she found a solution I would like to know it. S has since graduated from college and has a job. I’m not too worried. His room is still a disaster but thankfully I don’t have to look at it anymore.</p>
<p>My kid number 3 is both messy and dirty. I am getting lots of attitude this AM since I told her I want her to clean her room before we leave for a trip. Lots of eye movement going on. You would think I have a whip over her.</p>
<p>I am very messy, but I always know where everything is.</p>
<p>However, I think there is a difference between messy and dirty. My bathrooms are clean of mildew and icky stuff.</p>
<p>My kids are messy too. I think it is somewhat my fault. Cleaning is never a priority, there is always something better or more important to do. However, when I ask them to clean, they are very good at it, so maybe when they move out there is a hope for them.</p>
<p>*You know “Pigpen” from Peanuts[/]? That’s me - I can clean my desk and have it (almost) completely organized. Then someone drops something else on it or the mail comes in, and the whole thing explodes</p>
<p>lol…you’ve described my laundry/sewing room. I’ll get it where it’s nice and neat (and I’m sooo proud of myself…lol), and then a week later…what the heck happened??? </p>
<p>My guess is that families where both parents are “neaties” (but not crazy OCD about it), and have always modeled daily routines that keep things neat and clean, then the kids might be more likely to be “neaties,” too…as long as their parents didn’t “do it all” for them. </p>
<p>When only one parent is a “neatie” and the other is a “messie”, then kids may be getting mixed signals???</p>
<p>I think it would be very hard for a a neatie and a messie to stay married. They may come into the marriage as neatie and messie, but at some point one of them would need to go over to the dark side.</p>
<p>My husband and I are opposites. I try because I know my habits irritate him. I have a box of stuff I brought from a relative’s house two weeks ago. I finally moved it from the kitchen to the ,bedroom day before yesterday, but it is not put away.</p>
<p>Md Mom–you need extra storage spaces in the house. Unless it’s a bill you need to pay, you can put it away. A month or so later you can recycle it.</p>
<p>When I was young, I used to spend a lot of time at my cousins’ home. My older cousin, a girl, had a room that was a total mess…clothes and whatever everywhere. you could never see the carpet.</p>
<p>When she married a “neatie”, she vowed to change so as to not annoy him. Don’t know what she did to change, but she sure did. Her home has always been very nice and neat…and she’s been married for 35 years.</p>
<p>Hope my hardcore CS major friend who now works for a household name computer technology firm who tends towards extreme messiness beats the odds considering his wife is a bit of an obsessive neatnik. </p>
<p>So far, he’s been amenable to his wife’s suggestions to be more organized and she’s doing a lot to help him in that department. They’ve just had their one year anniversary recently. </p>
<p>Also, my older college classmate’s parents managed to stay married for over 40+ years despite one being extremely minimalist/neatnik and the other…a tendency towards messiness and later in life…hoarding.</p>
<p>I’ve always blamed my messiness on the fact that my mom was a neat freak and I hated her style of housekeeping. I am extremely messy; my kids and husband are all somewhat neater than I. I never tell them to clean their rooms, I just close the door. They usually clean when they feel the mess is out of control. I do the laundry that is in the hampers. I keep the living room and dining room and first floor bathroom clean because we frequently have elderly in-laws over for dinner. The family room and kitchen, not so neat! Lot of paper piles. I don’t believe in dusting.</p>
<p>H and I are neatie messies. Both of us have a tendency to hold on to too much stuff. I grew up with a neat freek mom and H was in a chaotic nest of junk. We are constantly trying not to backslide. Constantly editing our “stuff”. For everything I bring in the house, something else has to leave. We were very proud of ourselves last week when we cleared out a closet. If we have not used something in the last two years — out it went. That evening we went to visit an architect friend. We had not seen him for some time. He complained that his house was “out of control”. Each room was much like another. His vast living room is comprised of a Steinway, an enormous modern white Italian couch, a very large coffee table and a single silver bowl. That’s it. I give up.</p>