Most of the top colleges and universities in the US are need blind. So your ability to pay isn’t really that important.
I agree with other posters that going to a private school probably won’t substantially impact your child’s college placement. This is the big fish/little pond or little fish/big pond analogy. Going to a private school will make it much harder for your child to stand out.
Private schools do a much better job with college counseling and are good for kids who need a smaller classroom environment. Don’t send your kid to private thinking that getting into college is easier. Unhooked kids who go to the private schools have a difficult time getting into HYPMS unless they are at the top of their class.
Funny that I am thinking about the exact question for a while. I am lucky to have the flexibility of moving to any school dstrict in the country given the nature of my job. I am choosing between some of the best high schools in the Northeast and top private high schools. My opinion is that it is worth serious consideration if it is Andover or Groton, although the cost will be >$50k a year. My two older kids went on to highly selective colleges from a decent NJ publich high school. For my two younger ones, I am really torn between a top-notch public HS or a privae one like Andover if they can get into them. Fortunately, I still have a few years to think about it.
Does the private offer need-based scholarships or financial aid (other than loans)? Could that lower the cost of tuition? What do you expect to gain at the private that is not at the public? Has your S shadowed at both HSs, so HE is aware and has a preference? How is he with having fewer Us to choose among if $120K+ is spent on HS and no longer available for college?
We sent both our kids from public middle school to private HS. We thought we would qualify for FAid, but didn’t, so we were full pay–for HS as well as college. We sent them because S would lose ALL his friends every year from public school to private school and would have to make new friends all over again. It was painful to watch and tough on him. At the time we did it, private school was under $10K/year/student, but still a LOT of money for our budget.
I did tour both of the public HSs that he might have enrolled in an was VERY disappointed in what I saw and heard–much of the time was spent on discipline and not much on learning/teaching. The private HSs on the other hand had little to no discipline issues visible from my visits. Both our kids made invaluable lifelong friends at the private HS that they never had in their public schools. Both kids ended up having room mates in college that they had met at their private HS. Private HS was an excellent fit for both of our kids and allowed S to take all the APs his heart desired and become a NMF… I really had wished and hoped that we could have found our kids’ “tribe” in public HS, but neither kid could at all. We do not begrudge what we paid for their HS and because S got a 50% tuition scholarship from the private U he attended, that was more than the cost of both their tuitions at the private HS.
Sometimes the top public schools are very intense, and don’t foster a healthy environment for certain kids. A kids who is depressed or anxious, no matter how smart, isn’t going to thrive there. That was the case with my children. We moved them from a district that regularly sends kids every year to the Ivies to a small private school that cost about $28K my son’s last year there. The school wasn’t as prestigious as their public school, and people thought we were crazy. But it was the best choice for us.
My kids didn’t have access to 22 APs as they would have had at the public school, but they still got a great education. The APs they took covered the same ground as the ones at the public school, with less homework, and they got 5s in every test they took.
For us, fit was everything. I will never regret the money we spent.
This is truly a topic where YMMV. There is a vast difference in schools and kids and the difference between public and private varies. You really need to compare the two schools not whether they are public or private.
Our kids went to a charter school for k-5 and a private school for 6-12. College was not the reason we moved them although I do think they got much better guidance than they would have gotten in public school.
We moved our kids because our local school system was entirely too focused on the state tests. The top students didn’t get much attention because they weren’t in danger of doing poorly on the state tests. In addition, the honors and advanced classes simply offered more work than the regular classes. It wasn’t necessarily harder work, just more. That was middle school.
We really liked that the private school did placement testing each year and offered art, music, theater electives in middle school. It also offered a chance to do high school work in middle school without the tortuous GEM program in the public school, which required hours and hours of homework every night. We also liked that there were many opportunities for middle school kids to participate in high school activities. The local middle school just didn’t have that stuff.
When it came to high school we opted to keep them in the private school because it offered some advantages. The local school had block scheduling, which some LOVE, but I didn’t think would work for my kids. The local high school was absolutely huge and that made it difficult to participate in things because so many activities are oversubscribed.
The thing is that none of this might apply to the OP.
@hzhao2004 “Funny that I am thinking about the exact question for a while.” You made me feel less clueless given that you have more kids and more experiences than I do and you are wondering still.
I know there is much that I don’t know about public vs private but I don’t know what I don’t know. So, what posters share here is invaluable.
OP, I’ve re-read your post several times and am unable to tell why you are considering private school. Why did this come up? Your son attends an excellent public school where you feel he could be at the top of his class. What problem are you trying to solve? GMT is correct: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
If we had had an excellent public option available to us, we would not have sent our son to private school. We were only concerned that he receive a top-notch high school education as we always believed that college would take care of itself if the high school education were strong. If I were in your shoes, I’d be counting my blessings and moving on. I don’t see that you have a problem.
Not that important for admission at such schools – but potentially very important in being able to afford to pay the cost to enroll the student there. Having $120,000 lower assets may result in a slightly better financial aid grant at some colleges, but such an added grant will be quite small compared to having an extra $120,000 in your savings and investment accounts.
Unless there is a specific compelling reason why the public school is unsuitable for the student, it would appear that the main effect of the OP spending $120,000 on the private school would be to later limit his college choices later based on potential lack of affordability.
I noticed on LinkedIn that millennial young professionals are listing their private prep schools. Don’t think those prestigious preps don’t continue to open doors well past high school. Pedigree and “speaking the language” is valued in a lot of industries.
“A lot” of industries means which ones? High school attended seems like a completely irrelevant aspect of a college graduate applicant to a job; favoring a prep school pedigree indicates that the employer values inherited or parentally purchased markers of aristocracy, as opposed to the candidate’s own achievements. (Yes, college has a parental purchase factor as well, but there is more of a factor of one’s own achievements in one’s college record.)
If OP needs FA for college then they can’t really afford a private school without dipping into their savings. They need think very hard if it’s worth their while when they have a good public school option. I would spend some money to provide additional ECs or courses the school doesn’t provide to give additional enrichment.
My kids went to a top notch private school from K-12. We also had very good public system (many of those students went on to top tier colleges), but I believe the education my kids received were much better than what was available at our public school. They had science labs that could rival most of top research universities. They had a performing arts wing and many classes had less than 10 students. There was no hand holding at the school. Most parents were reluctant to send their students to the school because of the rigor.
D1 had internships through parents at her private school. Now she is working, where she went for high school still comes up sometimes (no different than Stuyvesant as a top public). Some may make a jabbing remark and some may connect with her or tell her someone they knew who went to her school.
Maybe it is just my personal experience, but I have found students from prep schools know how to interact with adults better than other students. Even young teens know how to address adults and carry on semi-adult conversation. I wonder if it is because due to small class sizes, they are required to do presentations and speak in front of public. On the other hand, I have been around some of my friends’ adult kids (25+) who could barely have an intelligent conversation with me and wouldn’t thank me (or another adult) after we have paid for their dinners.
As has been mentioned, you need to figure out what you want from the high school experience. Private and public is not so much the distinction as the school itself. Should you choose the former, you’ll need to ask if the price tag is worth it.
We chose a private for the educational philosophy as well as the social environment – much more diverse than our LPS and demanding more participation at every level – and we suspect that those tuition dollars may end up being the best investment in education we’ll make…even with a great college acceptance. But that was based on who DS was and what we prioritized.
If you have a good public school and your son can take advantage of what it offers and you are merely concerned about college placement, you should save your money.
This is a question to which the answer is “it depends” on the particular high schools involved and the particular child.
My own offspring went to one of the smaller selective NYC public high schools. I have an acquaintance who sent her S to a top private school. Due to a divorce, money became tighter. He took the test for the “sci highs” and went to Stuy for 9th grade. At the end of 9th grade, he transferred back to private school. His grades at Stuy were high at first but then went down a bit. He wasn’t good enough to participate in the ECs he enjoyed. At Stuy, he tried out for JV basketball, but didn’t make it. At his private school, he was a starting player . He also got leads in some plays. He had not a prayer of doing so at Stuy.
His mom didn’t want him playing JV basketball and acting to enhance his college resume. She wanted him to do so because it kept him busy and engaged and helped make good friendships. He felt like a number at Stuy. If he didn’t do his homework at Stuy, mom didn’t find out until the end of the marking period. At his private school, mom was contacted immediately if he started slacking off. His teachers at the private school were well aware of his parents’ ugly divorce and gave him a little more emotional support to help him through it. The teachers at Stuy were good teachers for the most part, but they just did not see their role as helping kids with family problems. Moreover, in the scheme of things, his family problems weren’t as serious as those of many of his classmates. He transferred back to his private school where he was much happier.
@ sgopa12
I think this depends on the schools involved. There are 50 boys in the class at the top NYC independent school my acquaintance’s S attended. It was a lot easier to make sports teams there than at Stuy. Every teacher really got to know almost every student well because the average class sizes were much smaller and teachers were also advisers to student clubs and other ECs.
There are also some things I think the top private schools here do better than even the best publics. There is usually more of a focus on writing with students getting a lot more feedback. Submitting multiple drafts seems to be more common at private schools. There seems to be less use of multiple choice tests. Often students are required to give presentations in many different subjects. The publics tend to offer a one semester speech course, with learning how to give a talk limited to that one class.
They often offer prep sports that most public highs don’t have—lacrosse, squash, fencing, field hockey, etc. Some kids really enjoy these sports.
In some ways @eiholi 's choice is a bit like the choice between a top public flagship university and a more expensive but not really more prestigious LAC at a higher price. At first choosing the flagship seems a no brainer. However, there are kids who might really flounder there but be successful at the smaller school with more hand holding.
The private school may not have openings for 10th grade a year from now. If the family is considering a one-year tryout, it makes more sense to do it at the private school. If the year doesn’t work out well, the public school must accept their child.
Where I live, sending your child to private school is called “spending the college money on high school.” People think that it’s foolish. But I know that in some situations, there are extenuating circumstances, and it may be best to pay private school tuition to avoid a highly undesirable situation in the public school. For example, one family in my neighborhood did it because their son had fallen in with a crowd at a public school that not only placed little value on academic success – they actually teased and ostracized those who did well in school. This family judged that it was worth the money to pay private school tuition to get their son into a different atmosphere. But this is an exception.
Does the OP have a strong reason to avoid the public school? From the description in the original post, it sounds like an OK place.
What’s interesting to me about this thread is that several parents of former and current top prep school students are largely discouraging OP from considering the prep school route. If you read closely, they essentially tell the story of being forced to send their kids to prep schools because of the lacking of excellent local options. They do not see advantages of a top prep school relatively to a top public school - not if they have to justify the cost of it at least. They may be right. When you can receive a top notch education for free why do you want to spend $120k to get the same? But they may not because they only tested out one route and decided it would not be worth the cost if they had the other option. What a kid with competencies and temperament like their kid’s would have done in that hypothetical top public school remains an unresolvable mystery.
I can only contribute another anecdotal case scenario. We had “above average” public high school option (not top ranked at that time or a big name magnet but the “above average” in our area is pretty decent nationally) and we chose to send our kids to one of the best known prep schools. Having closely studies curriculum, extracurricular and student experience in both, I personally think the prep school was significantly better. Now, hear this. The prep school was expensive (prohibitive), but thanks to their generous financial support it didn’t break out bank and leave us enough to pay for college. Had we had to pay full tab, I don’t know if I would still say it was worth the cost. As for college outcome, my kids are unhooked no matter how you see hooks (unless if their school’s name is somewhat a hook). They graduated one of the top students but some distance away from “valedictorian” (they don’t rank or officially identify valedictorian anyway). They both went to top Ivies. Looking back, if they could do exceptionally well in our local public, they could’ve gone on to the same college because our public school do send a few to those colleges each year. However, I am almost certain that they wouldn’t have had as many choices. They each had 10+ admissions from top 20 universities and tippy top LACs to choose from.
My advice to OP? Carefully evaluate your options and find out how your kid would fit in each (“best guess” approach if necessary). Star visiting the schools. Sit in he classes and talk to faculty and see what the real deal is. An excellent public school is always a safe fall back. What could you lose to explore other options?
I went to public and private schools through 12th grade and then a private college and grad school. I generally prefer private education, but in this case, I see no benefit to going to the private school–particularly if it’ll result in less money available for education when it really counts: college and grad school.