<p>In a few months I’ll be turning 50! Yikes! But instead of looking around at all that I’ve accomplished I’m starting to feel that I need to simplify my life. I have a great husband and great kids – but right now that’s all I want in my life. Here we are in a big house that we just remodeled and it’s full of stuff that I thought I wanted and needed once. These are material things that for some reason are starting to seem so meaningless. </p>
<p>I find myself fantasizing about selling everything off and getting an apartment. We own a commercial rental property where we could live pretty much free. I’m tired of seeing everything we earn go to house payments, health insurance, property insurance, car insurance, cell phones, utilities, etc. etc. </p>
<p>I’d rather be free and easy and travel when I want. I want to have a little fun. But right now it’s a pipe dream because our youngest still has two years in HS. </p>
<p>Yes, I know I’m ranting. But just wondering if anyone else feels the same or has drastically downsized??</p>
<p>I feel the same, but haven’t convinced my H to make any big changes. I don’t want to clean it, dust it, repair it, or pay for it all anymore. It just feels like a burden!</p>
<p>Sometimes I fantasize about getting in the car and just driving til I find a beach (a long way from these parts)–that is when I know pms/perimenopause/midlife crisis is really coming on!</p>
<p>I love my H and family, and don’t REALLY want to leave, but sometimes…it sounds good!</p>
<p>Yes, I feel the same. H and I both hate home/yard maintenance–we really ought to be living in an apartment. But we have a big family/ big house and want to be near good schools. I look forward to downsizing. I can dream, can’t I? Our youngest kid is 6.<br>
(I sort of wish a tornado would take our house away just kidding, but that’s how much of a burden it is on me. I can honestly say that I hate my house. It is too much for me to take care of and we can’t afford to hire people to do the maintenance. So many repairs need to be done and I can’t keep up. I wish we had chosen a different house when we moved here 3 years ago.)</p>
<p>H and I have decided, once D is finished with college, and she is somewhat settled and the economy is better, we are going to sell our house, and we are going to live in an apartment or condo that we rent. We have had the American dream, but we are tired of it, sick of being a slave to the house. We want to be able to get up and go wherever we want and just be free to be. No property taxes to pay, house repairs, mowing the lawn, climbing stairs with our bad knees. This will give us the freedom to possibly try out parts of America we are interested in. H is 56 and I am 55. We will probably have to work but we would both give up our current jobs and work wherever we go. Dream? Maybe . But that is our plan. We’ll let the chips fall where they may.</p>
<p>Don’t hold your breath waiting for all three things to happen.</p>
<p>We, wife and I, will probably die in our office chairs. We work. That’s what we do. I expect to be in my current position, which is in fact my retirement job, until my early 70s. Longer if the real estate market doesn’t improve.</p>
<p>On the other hand we now live in a condo. Thank G-- no more damn leaves.</p>
<p>I am 49 and definitely feel that way. DS is out of school and working. Financially independent (fingers crossed he stays that way). DD is a rising college junior.<br>
We own a smaller house which is currently rented about three miles from our home. Goal is to finish paying for both in the next three to four years. Praying DD finishes school and finds a job, joins her brother in the young adult world. At that point we plan to sell the big house. I consider myself lucky that we own the smaller place in our same area. Only problem is I love our big house. Love the layout, love the yard, the neighborhood. But we don’t want to work till we are seventy and in order to downsize we will need the equity from the bigger house. We’ve lived in this house twenty years. My kids grew up here and leaving will be the last piece of the truly empty nest…</p>
<p>My husband does most of the home maintenance, or we hire out, so I don’t feel like the house is such a burden. Keeping it clean is so much easier now my D is older and not littering toys, books, bits of paper, crafts all throughout (no matter how much I reminded it was an effort to get rid of clutter). So now while I would like to get rid of more/ much of our stuff, I don’t feel burdened. I do feel itchy about cleaning out the basement to rid ourselved of detritus that we will never use, or if need could easily buy as needed. My fantasy is to get a skip/dumpster and 3 or 4 willing assistants and just toss stuff that was kept in the garage, basement, barn/storage unit.</p>
<p>We moved from 6000 sq feet to 2800 when son#2 went to college, then to 2100 and 4 months ago to 1550sq feet with child #3 out of the home and an (probably not temporary) empty nest. We still own but rent out 2100 sq feet, though we will never live there again. </p>
<p>There are 5 pieces of furniture, 4 carpets, about 50 boxes of various items and a few things on the wall I would move anywhere, but even having downsized this much- there is a lot of stuff I really neither need nor want. My H and I often talk about wanting to always travel ‘light’- knowing that we can live in the same 2 bedroom place we started out in… is liberating!</p>
<p>I think you should do it. In traditional Asian Indian societies, this would be expected. You have reached the “forest-dweller” stage. It shouldn’t be a “crisis”, simply the natural thing to do. The world would be a much better place if more people did it (males between the ages of 45-65 are a particular danger to the world, as we all know).</p>
<p>I’ve always wanted to simplify my life, not just “mid-life.” I am not a house person, I’ve lived in apartments my whole life, a house just doesn’t give me increased pleasure comparable to the “pain” of maintaining, cleaning, etc. so I totally understand what you’re saying. It’s funny, when I was a kid I used to ask my dad why we didn’t live in a private house (as opposed to a co-op garden apartment - NYC talk) and he said, “You like how we do family stuff on weekends? With a private house you can’t do that as much, you need to take care of the house.” Wish he was alive so I could tell him how smart he was!</p>
<p>But my husband feels very differently (grew up in a house) and we are accumulating houses instead of downsizing!!! I hate houses.</p>
<p>I have always fantasized about quitting jobs, selling everything, getting a Winnebago, and traveling life’s highways/national parks for a couple years until we ran out of money/gas/willingness to live in close quarters with each other. I even fantasized about this intermittently when the kids were younger and at home – pulling them out of school and Winnebago/home-schooling them while we traveled. What held me back was what happens after we’ve gone through our life savings, are unemployed, and only have a well-used/lived-in Winnebago to our name. (Right now the prospect of $5-a-gallon gas also means that kind of lifestyle would eat up our life’s savings in a big hurry.)</p>
<p>I am pretty pragmatic, but on tough days I have the same day dream. Then I “run the numbers”. SIGH… I just do not have the funds or enough stuff to sell.</p>
<p>Complete opposite of OP…love my home,enjoy tending to yard(2+ acres of lawn and gardens)…have no problem with cleaning home(5000 sf+)…it is our gathering place,we have a resort like property with pool/spa…we spend most weekends enjoying ‘our vacation home’ without leaving…</p>
<p>Having hit the midlife point also, we enjoy great dinners out and vaction in the winter,and have decided to live like we are retired,why wait 15 more years???..</p>
<p>To the OP and others of similar mind, I hear you! I am almost 50 and have felt this way since we bought the house 22 years ago. It is true what they say, the more space you have, the more stuff you accumulate. My son is in a spacious dorm with his own bedroom, a shared bathroom, kitchen and living room. Big mistake! We brought too much stuff to fill it up, and moving him out, we filled a 5 by 5 storage unit! He definitely wants to get rid of half the stuff he brought to college.</p>
<p>For a short time, son said we could sell the house when he’s grown, but now he’s saying he’ll miss the childhood home. As husband’s job is here and the housing market is terrible, we’re stuck.</p>
<p>Even though the house is paid for, every cent we make goes to home maintenance: yard, repairs; car maintenance, insurance. Even though son got a full scholarship to college, we still can’t get our head above water. </p>
<p>I really hate my house, too, and almost feel like it would be cheaper to live in a hotel room sometimes!</p>
<p>I am with you. But we have the grandmoms filling up the rooms that the kids are vacating. Thank goodness we have a big house that can accommodate them comfortably. </p>
<p>Some of my friends who sold the house and bought the apartment are now regretting it as their family is beginning to grow again–with their kids’ spouses and grandkids. Around here, people like to move to Florida to a condo or into Manhattan. Either way, it means long distance family, and until it happens you just don’t know if that’s really what you want. Some love it, some are regretting it, wanting the old family homestead and loved ones regularly visiting. Of course, those loved ones can often bring a lot of baggage with them, and I don’t just mean their laundry.</p>
<p>With one old age baby just starting high school and two old ladies that will hopefully live a long time in good enough condition to stay home, I don’t think we’ll be selling the house anytime soon, not that the market is good for such moves anyways.</p>
<p>Montegut, I am watching the workers replace my gutters and the damaged structure underneath as I type. I have a 3 page list of repairs that should be done that I’ve put off for too long. It’s not a joke that a house is called “the money pit”. I hope we enjoy those new gutters and other repairs since they represent our vacation this summer.</p>
<p>Just came in from mowing the lawn (walk behind, not self propelled) on this 90 degree morning. Which took me past all the areas of the landscaping that need weeding, and over the newly dug mole trails that need attention. Cbug, I am so with you…</p>
<p>But after an unpleasant divorce a few years ago, I thought it woudl be best for D2 to finish high school and early college years in the house she had lived in for so many years. Enough changes in her life without adding that. So our big house (quite big for only 2 of us now!) will be with us for about another 5 years. Then will have to decide whether to stay in this area (where my consulting work base is strong), or relocate to be nearer to kids. Maybe a compromise… rent here for a few years until kids are more settled (and done with that 2nd college tuition), then make a move.</p>
<p>But I did fantasize about having a “groundskeeper” for my yard while I mowed this morning :)</p>
<p>I think we’ve all felt the way the OP feels at one time or another. Home repairs and maintenance are a drag and keep me away from what I’d rather be doing. </p>
<p>It’s part of what makes travel so relaxing. The only stuff I have to haul around is what fits into a suitcase.</p>
just kidding, but that’s how much of a burden it is on me. I can honestly say that I hate my house. It is too much for me to take care of and we can’t afford to hire people to do the maintenance. So many repairs need to be done and I can’t keep up. I wish we had chosen a different house when we moved here 3 years ago.)</p>