Might not be happy during graduation

I am an upcoming college senior, who has been through a lot of emotional distress ever since sophmore year. I’m at a point where I might not be happy the day I graduate. This happened when I got my driver’s license too.

The main reason is not because I don’t see value in the degree at all, but how I put myself in a situation that I did not want to be. I was happy getting the associate’s, but I wished I stopped there. My family has been bugging me to get bachelor’s for years and this adds more burden to me. It’s like as if their “verbal abuse” just took the pride away from me.

In other words, I feel like this bachelor’s degree was just to make my family proud, but I am not fully proud of myself. Am I the only one that feels this now? I know some of you will say that my feelings are nonsense, and that’s ok. I just been having a mental breakdown for days about going back on campus and such.

Don’t you see a connection between having earned a college degree (BA or BS) and qualifying for a good job or career ? This is a direct benefit to you; something that you have earned for yourself in order to have a better future with respect to your career & earnings.

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Your feelings are absolutely not nonsense.

And you NOT are the only one who feels that way. Ive had students who are only in school because they have to be for employment reasons and they hate every minute of it. I’ve also had students who wished they were at a different college or in a different major (or not in college at all) but were pressured by their family to make other choices. And I’ve had students who came back to college after dropping out or earning a degree in some other major because they were finally in a place where they could make their own decisions about their major or getting their degree.

If you can separate your accomplishment from the pressure that got you there, you will find some of that pride and happiness you deserve.

On the other hand, it could be seen as just a task to be completed. One day you may look back and celebrate and have a sense of fulfillment in spite of your family, but that day doesn’t have to be now or on the day you graduate.

You wrote about your emotional distress. Family pressure can be really hard to deal with and breaking those relationship patterns will give you some peace in your current situation and help you avoid similar issues in the future.

Consider talking to student services at your college or an independent counselor. It sounds like you could use some support to deal with the upcoming year and your family. It could be really good to clarify your thoughts and feelings and figure out what is best for you.

OP wrote: “This happened when I got my driver’s license too.”

How do you feel about having a driver’s license now ?

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To the OP… Just picking up on this theme. There are many that are not happy with success and milestones. Usually from something deeper. I would try to resolve the issues that you are not happy becoming successful. Might need to talk to a professional or someone close to you about it. It will affect getting your first job and being successful at it and most likely relationships… It’s great you realize this. Now act on it. Good Luck.

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OP, there must be parts of the experience you enjoyed! Find these and focus on them. Maybe you’ll even be able, by picking these out, to figure out what to do next that will be more satisfying.

It is a skill to be able to find ways to enjoy less than fulfilling activities but life is filled with them.

Also, Think about how certain things have disappointed you. Was it avoidable? How? If you learned something from an experience, it wasn’t a waste!

When you get back to campus I suggest you make an appointment at the counseling office to get some professional help.

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I am happy that I finally got it, but I am still feel uncomfortable with driving people like the older family members because I am known to be quite reckless with driving and my family has a tendency to nag at me.

If you recognize being a reckless driver, yet are not correcting it and instead using it as an explanation for how you feel about having earned the license, then you describe a conflict that deserves exploring with a counselor. I suggest you make use of college counseling resources while still available to you!

Another way to look at this: Having a bachelor’s degree increases your chances for getting a better job such that you can get away from your family. Gives you the independence to do what you want to do.