It must be my southern roots that cause me to hate being addressed as “Miss,” given that I’m in my 60s – and look at least 50. 
To me, being addressed as “Miss” instead of “Ma’am” makes the speaker sound dumb, but I just grit my teeth.
I’m in S. Fl, mid 40’s and appreciate hearing miss instead of ma’am. It could be due to me being Hispanic. Hearing the Spanish version, señora (ma’am) , sounds way too old too me. Like they are talking to my 92 year old grandma. All in one’s own perception.
Just another fun regional difference!
I have to say it would have been difficult to have moved to the south when my kids were young and had to teach them to say “yes, ma’am / sir” to teachers. It sounds so ingratiating to my northern ears. Of course, for southerners who move north, it sounds rude not to say it!
To answer the OP I grew up in California and I live in New York. I think the idea that “Ma’am” is only for 92-year-olds is pretty common outside the South.
I prefer Miss over Ma’am, but I am a northerner. Ma’ma sounds like an old lady and it makes me think of the word ‘mammary’.
I think Ma’am can often times be used in a condescending way depending on context and tone of voice. As long as the tone of voice is pleasant, I’m ok with either. But in my area, I don’t hear either used very often. I’m in the northeast.
@Pizzagirl that sounds sooooo 19th century.
I had a friend when I was in my 20’s who grew up in St. Louis and when she called my mother ma’am (who at the time on her 50’s) my mom was gobsmacked. My mom even told her she could call her “first name” but ma’am was so ingrained in my friend she couldn’t stop herself from saying it.
I am 51. I am going to go drop my gloves all over town and see how people get my attention. If I get too many Ma’ams, I’ll be at the Botox station
GMT - It’s 34 degrees where I am. I have gloves in the pockets of all my coats
I can’t stand being called “honey” or “doll” or “dear” or any of those pejoratives. Miss or m’am are ok by me.
It’s funny how some people have definite opinions about this (or been raised with definite rules). I’ve never given it much thought. I’m trying to think of what I might say to get a stranger’s attention or what I would expect to hear if a stranger were trying to get mine. Either sounds perfectly natural. The only “rule” I can come up with in my head is I wouldn’t call a 20 year old “ma’am”.
Maybe it’s just not used much here. I guess I’ve never really noticed one way or another. (But I sure will be listening for it now. LOL!)
My kids address all of my friends as Miss Tracy, Miss Jill, etc. Its a sign of respect, as they absolutely cannot address them by their first names.
As an adult, being addressed as “young lady” used to really P me off until it completely stopped.
It really is a big regional difference. @partyof5 I’ve heard the Miss Jill thing in the south and it sounds so strange to me. At my daughter’s nyc elementary school the teachers were Linda, Alice etc. and the principal was Maggie. As far as Miss or Ma’am, it seems that servers are bound to offend someone either way. Speaking of Downton Abbey maybe they should just call us Your Ladyship.
I love the Southern thing of calling older women Miss Firstname. It fulfills a social need, just like Ms. does. (As long as it doesn’t come with racial discrimination attached.)
But what do Southerners call men in that situation?
^^Mr. First Name.
My husband is called Mr. First Name by young adults in our rural southern neighborhood the same age as our children. When I became Miss First Name to the younger generation, I knew I’d arrived.
I prefer ma’am or madam. Miss doesn’t bother me one bit. I know older southern women who prefer to be called Miss Last Name because they deliberately never married.
I do not mind if a woman or man calls me dar’ln here because it’s regional. And also don’t mind when women call me dear or honey. I am sixty. That is regional as well. I detest when a man (and it is always a man) calls me young lady. That is offensive and condescending. That really aggravates me and makes me think much much less of him.
Southerner here too . . . always taught that “Miss” is for unmarried women (generally young).
I don’t have any problem with ma’am and always thought it was a sign of respect (not age).
“Coach”. Ha ha JK. I can’t think of of a situation where I called a male “Mr. [first name].” If we called a guy “Mr.” we generally used his last name. Then again guys weren’t usually teaching pre-school or acting in the position of a nanny. 
I’ve heard the “Miss Jill” and “Mr. George” thing only in preschool settings.
When we toured 'Bama I noticed it everywhere we went . . . “yes ma’am” or “no ma’am.”