<p>What do y’all think about the return of the two missing boys? Aside from its great blessing, I can’t help but think that the timing may have saved the older boy’s life. The kidnapper was clearly replacing him with a younger model and I can’t imagine he was going to let the older boy just leave. It makes me wonder if there was someone else before. Anyway, what a great blessing that both are home safely, but the criticism of the older boy really gets my goat. He was an 11-year-old boy abducted at gunpoint and subjected to heavel only knows what for four years, who could judge him? I saw part of the Oprah interview and that boy seemed haunted. God bless that family.</p>
<p>There is a thought out there that there was one boy (at least) before. There’s a kid reported missing in 1991 who looks like the two boys that were found. I forget exactly where I saw that. </p>
<p>Then … perhaps there is one more in the middle … (1991 – 1996 – 2002 – 2007) ?</p>
<p>What a scary thought. How wonderful that these boys were found in time!</p>
<p>Neither of these kids did anything to deserve what happened to them – they are BOTH victims. It does sound like the older boy’s parents, in particular, are providing the gentle love and acceptance that he needs to return to his family.</p>
<p>The psychological mind games and brain washing of this 11 year old young boy for 4 years will be studied for years. This poor, poor child. I just ache for his past heartache and for his future which will forever be completely influenced by this horrendous event in his life. Prayers for all.</p>
<p>My heart just breaks for both of these children, but especially the older boy. I just pray he’s able to recover. </p>
<p>There was a similar case several years ago where a boy was held for several years, and then the kidnapper stole another young boy. All those years, the older boy was afraid to leave, but he couldn’t bear having this younger boy go through all he had endured. That gave him the courage to escape. I think a movie was made about his life, and tragically he died later in a motorcycle accident. So sad.</p>
<p>I remember worrying, as any parent, when my girls were young about this awful possibility that one of them might be taken. I cannot imagine what the parents of those two boys have gone through, as well as the boys themselves. Unfortunately, the worrying doesn’t stop, even as they’re older and college age now, as there are some truly evil people out there, as evidenced by this story:</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.cnn.com/2007/LAW/01/19/couple.slain.ap/index.html[/url]”>http://www.cnn.com/2007/LAW/01/19/couple.slain.ap/index.html</a></p>
<p>I am not comfortable with the ongoing display of these youngsters and their families in the public media. These kids and their families have been through an ordeal. The media is responsible for taking advantage of the initial euphoria of the families rejoicing in the rescue and survivals. If these kids are not yet speaking about things to their own families, clearly privacy is more appropriate. The public does not need any information about what has happened to them. Of course these youngsters are victims and there is no shame in their ordeal, but making their family assimilation a media event is a distraction to the process. I am appalled.</p>
<p>It’s a shame that the media is feeding the public hunger for information on these boys. Enough that they were found alive. That’ all anyone needs to know. Some of the questions are abhorrent, even though spoken in that “gentle journalistc voice” Uggghhhh!! The families seem to be very un-sophisticated and unwittingly drawn into T.V. shows.</p>
<p>That poor poor 15-year-old, I really feel for him, and hope that somehow he can lead a semi-normal life, even though his entire thinking and behavior will forever be impacted by the past 4 years.</p>
<p>lorelei, I have to agree with you. Initially, I understood when they had their son attend the press conference. I thought that the reasoning would be to give the media a chance to see him (although he didn’t speak) and to take photos, etc. so that they wouldn’t be camped out in front of their home. However, they seem to have been granting interview after interview since then, including an hour on Oprah yesterday, and it continues. As a parent, it makes me uncomfortable, and as a psychologist, I realize that it is not a good thing for this child.</p>
<p>AlwaysAMom, you’re right that it likely is not a good thing for this child for the parents to be doing so many media interviews. </p>
<p>I’m trying to understand it. I have two guesses as to why. </p>
<p>One is that they are being hounded by the media for these interviews and having never been in such a situation, and could use some guidance as how to handle the media requests. </p>
<p>Two is that I recall at the initial press conference when he was found and they included their son, they talked about the foundation they had for missing kids and how they were speaking now publicly to give hope for all the parents whose kids are missing, etc. I think perhaps they want to be public about it given that they had a public stance for years to do with missing children and maybe this is part of that effort. I truly have no idea. </p>
<p>I’m just guessing. They have at least not had their son interviewed publicly, correct? I’m assuming so. </p>
<p>In any case, a terrible tragic circumstance, though thankfully these boys were found (that’s the happy part). Their lives are forever changed, particularly the fifteen year old’s who was in this situation for so long. Besides whatever he endured there, the whole head game he must have been under (obviously to not have contacted anyone), is hard to undo.</p>
<p>This whole thing is mind boggling.</p>
<p>The younger one must have already repressed some memories. When the today show host asked him if he was ready to return to school his answer was “yeah, I just need to find my backpack” in a tone indicating that not having a backpack was a big deal. And when his mom joked that she wanted to go to school with him, he just glared at her.</p>
<p>I totally agree with lorelei. I saw that the parents were going to be on Larry King. I just can’t understand what would compel people to do that. Seems like no good can come from being on all these shows…</p>
<p>Aside from that I hope that guy rots in jail.</p>
<p>And now other jurisdictions are looking to talk to the monster, hoping to solve other missing children cases. If he took them then, where are they now? It would appear that he was looking for a younger boy to supplant the one who was getting older. Thank God they found them when they did. I fear that the older boy would permanently be gone. As to the parents and the news conferences, I heard one of the parents saying that they might need to move because of people gawking at their son, and their need for normalcy for him. How can that happen when everyone in the nation can see him on TV? OTH, I understand the boys aren’t talking, and maybe, just maybe the parents think that this will start that. It sure isn’t what I would have done. No matter what, the boys have been severely victimized and it will take a long time for them to work this through. I pray for them.</p>
<p>"I am not comfortable with the ongoing display of these youngsters and their families in the public media. "</p>
<p>I agree. I wish that the families would decline the interviews and opportunities to be on TV. I realize that due to their shock and stress, the families may not be able to think carefully about media interviews, but I wish that they had friends or relatives who could help them realize that it would be best to say “no.”</p>
<p>For instance, I wish that the family hadn’t publicly said that they believe their S was sexually abused. There’s no surprise in the fact that abuse may have happened. However, it is no one’s business now but the police’s, the boys’ and their families. I fear that the sexual abuse part being made public will make it even more difficult for both boys to return to regular lives.</p>
<p>For all we know, it’s possible that the perp will eventually plead guilty, so even if there was sexual abuse, those details may never have to be revealed in a trial.</p>
<p>It’s not the media’s fault for asking questions or offering the families chances to be on TV. That’s literally what the media’s job is: To report stories. However, just because the media asks questions doesn’t mean that people have to answer those questions.</p>
<p>“For instance, I wish that the family hadn’t publicly said that they believe their S was sexually abused.” I asbsolutely agree with this. What are they thinking? How does a child react when parents speculate publically? Unbelievably and sadly naive.</p>
<p>That really bothered me. We had a high profile kidnapping case in our community, and when the victim came home and the media wanted to know, the police chief told them something like: “Taking an 11 year old child and holding her away from her family for two weeks is so brutal by itself that you don’t need to know anything else.” And that was that. No one asked him again. (There wasn’t going to be a trial in that case).</p>
<p>I wouldn’t have done it myself, and I wish the parents hadn’t done it, but I can’t criticize them for it. </p>
<p>The one benefit I can see to the media exposure is combatting the awful things that some of the pundits are spreading about Shawn. It’s unfortunate in our society that what it takes to get justice for victims of crime is often NOT what’s in the best interests of the crime victim.</p>
<p>This is Bill O’Reilly (as reported by <a href=“http://www.mediamatters.org):%5B/url%5D”>www.mediamatters.org):</a>
</p>
<p>He’s also described the message Shawn left on his parents’ website asking how long they would look for him as “taunting” his parents.</p>
<p>People like Bill O’Reilly are still going to say those kinds of things, regardless, but it’s a lot harder for him to sell this to an audience that has Shawn’s face to attach to the name. An eventually a jury will be pulled from that audience. </p>
<p>It’s a tough call to remain silent and let people spread scurrilous rumors about your child. Especially if locking up your child’s attacker so he can’t hurt anyone else could ride on it.</p>
<p>O’Reilly got his come-uppance from the FBI who informed him that 11 year old kidnap victims often completely ‘surrender’ to their captors.</p>
<p>I am not sure how the last year has been, but I was amazed at the job that the Smart family did when their daughter was found. Their family had such grace. Would mine have been as strong? I doubt it. </p>
<p>This Missouri family does not seem as sophisticated and their son was subjected to a much longer period of imprisonment–plus may have witnessed who knows what.</p>
<p>May God bless them–and may the media turn it’s greedy eye back on the monster who took the 11 year old.</p>
<p>
It’s not just 11 year olds who become brainwashed by their captors – think of Patty Hearst. She actually participated in a bank robbery, I believe, and although she was tried, the public generally seemed to cut her some slack. Bill O’Reilly was completely out of line on this.</p>
<p>It’s called the Stockholm Syndrome. Captives actually come to like their kidnappers. From what I have read, it stems from the mind’s attempt to deal with the situation, especially where there was ill treatment at the beginning in an effort to get the captive to succumb. Good treatment later makes themid say, “See, this person isn’t bad, he/she really cares for me!” I also think that in this instance, if a child had any normal sexual pleasure at all, (perfectly normal physiological response) that a child may feel some sense of responsibility and guilt and therefore, fear parental reprisal. As to Patty Hearst, that was the first real case where brainwashing was a defense. The jury didn’t buy it - it was all so new then. Now, she would have been let off, I believe.</p>