<p>I was looking over my application, and noticed three mistakes in one of my activity logs:</p>
<p>When I was eleven, I was really into music. I began playing around on the family piano. When my mom
heard me, she suggested I take lessons. I made such a good first impression on my teacher, that she
invited me to play at a Halloween recital three months after I started. One thing ------------->inform the concerts
stands out to me. -------->[Rephrase that last sentence]. Since the recitals have been in retirement homes the past
few years, there are a lot of seniors that have listened to my piano playing. After the concerts many of
them have come up to me and said they enjoyed my performance. It obviously gave them joy to hear me
playing. What I got out of these reactions was that people like music. ------->[Rephrase the last sentence] It also
meant to me that I had helped brighten their day. Playing the piano for seven years, I have learned a lot,
and I hope to continue playing as a hobby. It gives me pleasure because music relieves my stress from
the day.</p>
<p>Will this hurt me a lot?</p>