Congrats on your weight loss. Is this some exotic color?
I plan to share the color of my dress with the MOG…it may be several colors as I’m not sure. But really…SHE needs to know as well.
I mean really…you don’t want your colors to totally clash.
The dress is navy blue, and I know that’s very conventional. But could I find another navy dress if I need a smaller one? I don’t know.
I’ve considered buying the same dress one size smaller just in case. But that might not work, either. Weight doesn’t necessarily come off evenly. The fact that the size 16 dress fits me now does not necessarily mean that the same dress in a size 14 would fit if I lose another 10 pounds.
Do you have a good tailor neat you? Altering down one size is NOT challenging for a good seamstress. That’s what I would suggest!
I have three navy dresses in my closet right now. That is a VERY popular color…VERY.
Why not tell her what you are planning to wear, tell her that it may change if you lose more weight, and tell her you’ll let her know if the color changes? It seems to me like she made a respectful request to honor your “first dibs” and you should work with her!
@Marian If it was me, I’d just tell her pretty much what you told us. “Right now I’m leaning towards wearing a dress that is X color but I might wind up switching to another knee-length dress so no promises.”
Personally, I don’t think everyone has to be matchy match.
Congrats on your weight loss success.
I will be talking with the MOG in about an hour. I am sure that the question will come up about what I
plan to wear. The part of the wedding that will have a photographer is only 22 total. It is my D’s version
of an urban wedding. I am wearing Eileen Fisher black pants and tank and some type of silky solid color
open tunic or jacket. Probably in an eggplant or a deep burnt orange–per D’s request. MOG will wear
a short dress and since our coloring is opposite I am guessing something in fall gold tones.
I am in awe of your dress hunting. I know everyone will look beautiful.
And I am finding that the type of jacket that I am looking for may not even exist! But onward.
Wedding Sept. 9th.
Marian, I would just tell her all. I might ask her what color she is leaning towards as it might
not even be something I would be interested in. I agree about finding a good seamstress.
Sure. For people who can wear dresses. But I usually can’t because I’m two sizes larger on the top than the bottom. Both sizes have decreased because I’ve lost 35 pounds, but the difference between them will always be there because I have disproportionately large breasts.
I tried on more than 50 dresses before I found one that more-or-less fit me. It doesn’t look very good, but it’s an actual dress, and I can get my body into it (at least right now). I consider that a miracle.
What I’m leaning toward doing is three things: (1) I’ll tell the other mother that my dress is navy. (2) I’ll buy the same dress one size down because there’s a reasonable possibility that it might fit if the larger one doesn’t. (3) If I discover that, close to the time of the wedding, neither dress fits, I’ll tell her what happened, ask her what color her dress is, and avoid that color when I shop for another dress. I can’t guarantee that I could find another navy dress or even another dress of any kind, but I think I could find some sort of outfit that isn’t in her color.
The alterations option isn’t promising. The dress is inexpensive; alterations would cost more than buying another outfit. Also, all the seamstresses I know of in my area are recent immigrants, and I’m very bad at understanding people with accents. I can’t even communicate with them well enough to get pants shortened, let alone to do anything complicated.
That sounds like a good plan, Marian! Good luck!
Just wondering what the taboo is that mothers of the bride and groom wear different colors? Or wear a different color than the bridesmaids? For my daughter’s wedding both the moms wore a shade of pink as well as the bridesmaids. Nobody confused who was who and the pictures looked lovely and coordinated.
I had always thought the MOB picked a color and then the MOG decided, but my FDIL told her mom and me that she’d like us to both wear navy…if we want. I know she’s just trying to be accommodating, but for me, I’d have preferred a definitive request. So, I’m treating it like one 
I will choose among the 3 navy dresses I ordered from various stores or the 64-year-old vintage dress my grandmother wore to my mom’s wedding! If the MOB goes in a different direction, I’ll still be happy. I love navy! @marian, I think ordering the dress a size down is the way to go. If the proportions fit now, the style of the dress will hopefully work for your body 10 pounds from now!
D is getting married in 3 weeks. I just heard the MOG doesn’t have a dress yet - in any color. She has some mobility issues so getting to a store is difficult for her. I kind of assumed her daughter would help her order some things online, but that’s not happening (mother and daughter don’t get along). Last I heard, FSIL was trying to find her something.
I can’t imagine anything clashing with navy. So I’d just tell the MOG that it will probably be navy. I don’t think it’s the end of the world if you are both in navy, or both in red. I think it’s probably more important to avoid whatever the bridesmaids are wearing, but presumably both of you know that.
The main reason the other party is concerned with the color, IMO, is that there is always a chance both of you could pick the same or similar dress… if the color is different, this will not be so obvious.
Marian, I suggest that you forget trying to find a dress, and consider separates. At BHLDN, for example, you could buy a coordinated top and bottom in different sizes that would look lovely. Eileen Fisher is another possibility. There is nothing magical about a dress, per se.
I would also suggest that you be honest with the other mother about your dilemma. Why on earth not?It’s not some kind of power game. Become allies.
BTW, I once went to a wedding where the MOG and MOB actually wore the exact same dress, in different colors. Not intentionally! They were very different in appearance: one petite, the other statuesque, so that the dress lookd realley different on each of them. But still. (If addition to that, it was the very first time that the MOB saw the lounge singer–yes, really–that the FOB had left her for, 15+ year ago.Can you imagine? Luckily, she was remarried to a nice man.)
Am I the only one here who hates navy?
It does not look good on me and I do not feel attractive in it.
I do understand that it photographs nicely.
A deep royal or an eggplant or a deep brown.
Just knowing that navy is the rage would stop me from buying it.
I love royal blue–so much so that I and MOB (my older sister) bought same dress, in same style for her middle D’s wedding. Hers had costume jewels attached to the bodice but otherwise it truly looked like we had coordinated and some of her friends thought we had. I managed to arrange a silk scarf I brought so that it totally covered the top half of my dress and made us look very different. I think MOB was much happier after that. I’ve already sent her a photo of the dress I’m wearing her her youngest D’s wedding next month (she approved) and she will definitely NOT be matching.
IMO, color preference is a personal choice. I can’t say navy is my favorite color, but I definitely don’t hate it. I’m pretty sure I’ll end up with a navy dress because (1) bridal party is wearing royal blue and I don’t want to match, (2) there are more choices of dresses in navy because it is an “in” color at the moment (3) in my preferred style dress (short) there are fewer choices that would suit me and (4) I really can’t wear colors like blush, ivory, etc without looking totally washed out.
@CBBBlinker I hear you! I found the perfect dress…in blush. But that is the color of the bride’s dress. I know no one would mistake me for the size two, twenty something bride. But it’s her day…and I’m not wearing the same color dress as her.
No bridesmaids. Not even a maid/matron/man of honor. It’s what the bride and groom want.
Love a deep royal also. It is one of my best colors.
Many of the navy dresses are really dark. Good for pictures.
And lovely on some but not everyone. Why has this become so popular
or has it always been popular and I never noticed?