<p>My niece is pregnant with her first child. She and her husband have been together almost a decade and are very financially stable. They live far away and she writes a blog and has referred throughout her pregnancy to the baby as a few things including “parasite”, as in " so, today we found out the parasite’s sex!"</p>
<p>Is this a modern pregnancy thing, like calling pregnant women “pregos”? It makes me so sad, and I want to tell her that someday a tween is going to unearth her mom’s blog and really be hurt by the term. I want to tell her that since me, my SIL , her cousin, and my mom all had miscarriages, that term is painful to see…but common sense tells me to keep my mouth shut. </p>
<p>I haven’t seen this before. Maybe it’s just your niece trying to sound hip, cool, sophisticated? Even if that’s the reason, I agree the word is off-putting.</p>
<p>You should mention it to her. Perhaps, ask why she refers to it as a parasite. I’m curious as to why she refers to her future child like that. </p>
<p>It’s off-putting, as frazzled said. If I heard someone refer to their child like that in public, I’d tilt my head. I don’t believe it’s a modern pregnancy thing as I haven’t heard anyone enthusiastically, without any resentment towards the baby, call their child that. </p>
<p>It sounds like someone trying to be ironic and clever. I haven’t heard it as a trend. Also, I think it doesn’t say anything about what she really thinks about her pregnancy, so I definitely wouldn’t bring up miscarriages or assume her future child won’t be able to tell.</p>
<p>I seem to recall some bantering about “babies as parasites” 2 years or so ago. It was probably a slow news day. I agree that your niece is trying to be witty. It just doesn’t seem funny to me.</p>
<p>Maybe she is trying to be sophisticated about the science of it. In the case of malnutrition, the baby will take what it needs from the mother. This isn’t as common in the US. It is offputting though, and I hope the child doesn’t know that this is what the parents called him/her. I think it might be hurtful to the child to discover the nickname one day. </p>
<p>It’s the kind of language that abortion-rights activists used back in the 70s and 80s. Hearing it in another context strikes me as weird to say the least. Perhaps your niece heard it from a group of friends, and either she or they are unaware of the historic associations?</p>
<p>I think it’s funny . . . alternately she could go all Stargate SG-1 and call it the symbiote. It sounds to my like you are projecting. In this case I think common sense is right.</p>
<p>Wow, I must be really out of it, as never in my long life did I hear abortion-rights activists refer to the fetus as a parasite. I constantly hear pregnant women complain about their pregnant body looking fat, which boggles my mind, however. </p>
<p>With 2 kids who nursed 2.5 years each and a miscarriage in between I wouldn’t be surprised if I jokingly called one of them “the parasite” on occasion without malice or resentment.</p>
<p>I feel like she has a lot of fear that having a baby is going to make her less – less professionally competitive, less of a feminist, less of a person, less interesting. Which is not to say she isn’t pregnant by choice – it very much was a conscious choice they made – but I am startled every time. On my worst, most lumbering, most peeing every 30 seconds, most nauseus days, most craving-bananas and spaghetti days I would never, ever, think of my child (she also resists calling it a child. it’s a fetus, a parasite, or one of its actual potential names) as a parasite. </p>
<p>I would let it go. A lot of these writers, bloggers think it is clever to use some terms that can be offensive to the others. IF her blog catches the attention of certain groups, people, they’ll really give it to her. I doubt she meant anything by it. </p>
<p>My neighbor had to end her pregnancy early due to some combination of complications that made the twins she was carrying “parasites” that could have taken her life. She was very upset that the doctor used that term, something she remembers to this day, 10 years later. She had the twins more than two months early, and it was a rough first few years with them, though they now seem to be doing as well as any kids, and she’s fine too. So, yes, the term can hurt in some contexts. I don’t fight the battle of semantics when it comes to blogs and such. Let others do it. </p>
<p>My first baby made me less professionally competitive, less of a feminist, less interesting in certain circles, though more so in others. Less of a person–how does one even measure that? But yes, it
s a huge change in life. </p>
<p>My mom called me “the alien” and “the worm” when she was pregnant with me. Personally, I’d rather be a parasite than a worm… I hate worms. </p>
<p>I don’t think it’s a big deal. It was probably said in jest. I’m sure if it wasn’t wanted, she wouldn’t be carrying it to term. No reason to read into it IMO. </p>
<p>Maybe she is whistling past the graveyard, trying to protect herself in case the pregnancy doesn’t go well. I don’t think I would say anything. Once she gives birth (and maybe before, as the baby becomes more active inside of her) it will be more believable to her that it is an actual child there.</p>
<p>When I was pregnant for the first time and very tired, ill and generally blah, my father, who was a pharmacist, said, “Think of it-a baby is a perfect parasite. It is using YOUR energy, nutrition, etc. to develop. That’s why you’re tired, etc.” I didn’t think at the time he meant ill, but was explaining to me why I felt the way I did (and he went on to offer hints to feel better, more energized, etc.). Looking at it that way, I don’t think it’s horrible or sad, or too cool for school-it IS true. We called my youngest “Peanut”. Why is that better? We’re calling her a food people are allergic to! I think we all need to lighten up a bit. </p>
<p>When our older child was an infant she would nurse for the last time right around 10pm which was when Star Trek Deep Space Nine was on. There was a race in the gamma quadrant called the Jem’Hadar who were addicted to this milky substance that their “master race” fed them through tubes in the side of their necks. We took to referring to Saintbaby as our little Jem’Hadar because she was always there nursing away and getting her “fix” while we watched. In no way do we think she is an actual space alien, addict or anything else other than a cute little baby - it was just funny to us at the time. </p>