<p>^^^Not so BUS. Breast feeding toddlers is a societal norm in much of the US and rest of the world. Harassment is a norm amongst bullies.</p>
<p>I don’t think breast feeding till they’re four, or close to it (and very large) is the norm in our country. Harassment may be the norm among bullies, but I don’t think I’d want to paint a target on my kid’s back forever.</p>
<p>You still don’t get my point at all, parent1986. It has very little to do with the specifics of what it is the parent is publicizing without the child’s consent; it’s the fact that it’s done without the child’s consent (even if it’s for positive reasons in terms of increasing societal acceptance for something that there’s nothing wrong with), and is something the child may later wish the parent hadn’t done, even if there is no bullying or harassment. I understand that in one case the worst consequence is probably embarrassment – although there’s certainly a danger of physical harassment – whereas in the other case the consequences could threaten life and safety, but my point is the same.</p>
<p>busdriver11, if you read through the comments in this thread, you will find many parents saying they did it - delayed nursing - however, what they found offensive was the way the photo had the child nursing, standing on a foot stool, etc. Going back 25 years, I know lots of moms who did it - they just didn’t flaunt it. That was the purpose of this flaunting article - to increase awareness.</p>
<p>Donna, thanks, I get your point - one can lead to more than bullying - sad world.</p>
<p>Am I Mom Enough? A Motherhood Wish List
[Boston.com</a> - Boston, MA news, breaking news, sports, video](<a href=“http://www.boston.com%5DBoston.com”>http://www.boston.com)
Parenthood is too important for "Mommy Wars
sorry couldnt get the link</p>
<p>That was nice, DTE. Happy Mother’s Day!
[Am</a> I Mom Enough? A Motherhood Wish List - 24 Hour Workday - Boston.com](<a href=“http://www.boston.com/community/moms/blogs/24_hour_workday/2012/05/motherhood-mom-enough-advice.html?p1=Well_MostPop_Emailed1]Am”>http://www.boston.com/community/moms/blogs/24_hour_workday/2012/05/motherhood-mom-enough-advice.html?p1=Well_MostPop_Emailed1)</p>
<p>OK…So some don’t think 4 is too old to be breastfeeding, what age is too old? </p>
<p>6?</p>
<p>8?</p>
<p>10?</p>
<p>16? </p>
<p>there must be an age that each of us would say is “too old to be breastfed.” So, what age is that, and why is THAT age too old, and not a year earlier?</p>
<p>thanks DTE, that is a lovely response to this article…</p>
<p>Mom2college kids, often moms who find themselves with extended nurslings, practice " don’t offer - don’t refuse" and let the child decide what their needs are.</p>
<p>What age is too old for a bottle? for a pacifier? It all depends on the child and the family, why would breastfeeding be any different?</p>
<p>Newsflash folks, we are mammals, and breasts were created for one reason only, and that reason is not sexual titillation for the male species, although our culture seems to have other ideas.</p>
<p>I’d say by the time you give up the bottle and the binky, and you’re out of diapers, it’s time to get off the boob. You shouldn’t be going to kindergarten, waiting till Mom comes to visit at lunchtime. I don’t actually see the purpose of breastfeeding later than the young toddler years.</p>
<p>Why do you care if another family does it different? Why so judgmental of others who may raise their children differently than you? Have you thought to announce to most of the mothers in this world that they are doing it all wrong, and that many in this country think it gross, creepy, weird, etc, if they breastfeed too long?</p>
<p>Around 2. Before they reach 2, toddlers learn how to entertain themselves and find comfort in other ways than nursing. They are cognitively developed enough to seek pleasure beyond the oral sensation. If they have trouble soothing themselves without a pacifier, it doesn’t hurt to coax them to branch out. We teach them how read and write whether they like it or not. Why not teach how to entertain themselves in a diverse way, too? Age 2 is not too young to learn that.</p>
<p>You can encourage them to use other means of comfort than nursing I agree. Both my kids had stuffed animals that they slept with & or carried around. But at the same time you can also practice “don’t offer, don’t refuse”.</p>
<p>AAFP says we should be concerned about the numbers of children that are not nursed.
[Breastfeeding</a>, Family Physicians Supporting (Position Paper) – AAFP Policies – American Academy of Family Physicians](<a href=“http://www.aafp.org/online/en/home/policy/policies/b/breastfeedingpositionpaper.html]Breastfeeding”>http://www.aafp.org/online/en/home/policy/policies/b/breastfeedingpositionpaper.html)
Perhaps there is a connection between the obesity rate in the USA, and the breast feeding rate compared to a country like Japan where extended nursing is more commOn.</p>
<p>EMK…Yes, I’m well aware of “don’t offer, don’t refuse.” </p>
<p>My question is just one of discussion.</p>
<p>Everyone, even those who practice DODR, would have an age in mind that they would be horrified if their child were still nursing…maybe 21…lol. So, my question for everyone is…</p>
<p>What age would you be horrified to see an older child still nursing from his mother, and why not that age minus one year???</p>
<p>Would you be horrified to see a 12 YO still nursing, but not an 11 YO? How about an 8 YO, but not a a 7 YO? or some other ages…and WHY??? Each one of us, even the most open-minded, has an age where we’d be horrified to see an older child STILL nursing.</p>
<p>I’m bothered when I see older children with a binky. It can actually disrupt their ability to learn how to talk if they always have a paci in their mouthes and they are well-beyond the toddler stage. So, if I saw a 5 YO with a binky, I’d probably think that was very odd unless the child had some kind of impairment.</p>
<p>My children stopped nursing on their on between about six to thirteen months and around the time they began to walk and became more independent. They also toilet trained early. If they hadn’t stopped on their own I would have stopped them by two years. While I understand that children mature at different ages, I think it is entirely possible for parents to encourage and foster their child’s sense of dependency.</p>
<p>I would also be interested in hearing at what age the supporters think would be inappropriate. There seriously has to be an age, right?</p>
<p>Ah, the memories of me, the father, driving around on Memorial Day trying to find a store open to get a breast pump. We could have been better prepared. I was a part-time stay at home dad, and I became an expert in the care and feeding of expressed milk. (Let’s not forget that significant others may have an adjunct role.)</p>
<p>Two seemed to be the age for our kids–which, anecdotally, seemed older compared to most people we knew. It was a bit different for each of the three of them, meaning the child has some input into the weaning.</p>
<p>Re the binky, our kids sucked their fingers, and our pediatrician said, “Do you want to pay for the psychiatrist or the orthodontist?” We did the latter.</p>
<p>In my (perhaps limited) experience, few children continue nursing to an age that I would even begin to think of as “horrifying.”</p>
<p>A boob, unlike a bottle or binky, can’t be carried around. It can’t be used while the child is busy doing something else. As kids get more interested in doing other things, their interest in the boob wanes. </p>
<p>Meanwhile, the breast is no longer nutritionally essential, so the mother is less hesitant to ask a child to wait if the child wants to nurse at an inconvenient time. (People talk about “don’t offer, don’t refuse,” but in my experience, it’s more like “don’t offer, don’t refuse, but feel free to stall and distract when necessary.”) So the number of breastfeedings per day diminishes – often to just once a day, at bedtime. And because the frequency of breastfeeding has diminished, the milk supply diminishes, too, which makes the breast even less attractive.</p>
<p>And then one day the child doesn’t breastfeed at the usual time – or (as in the case of one of my kids) gives up in disgust when it takes too long for the milk to let down. The child never tries to breastfeed again, and the mother, well versed in “don’t offer, don’t refuse,” is careful not to offer. No fuss. It’s just over. The child doesn’t need it anymore, so giving it up is not an issue. For the mother, the situation may be a little bit sad, but this is offset by the fact that something so nice ended so easily.</p>
<p>I don’t particularly care whether this happens at 18 months or 4 years. I do like the idea of it happening naturally and painlessly. So many things in parenting involve conflict and struggle. This one doesn’t have to, in most cases.</p>
<p>People talk about “don’t offer, don’t refuse,” but in my experience, it’s more like “don’t offer, don’t refuse, but feel free to stall and distract when necessary.”</p>
<p>Exactly…and yes, sometimes you’d have to refuse. My friend whose 3 YO was still occassionally nursing tried to pull her top up during church to nurse. Nursing a baby in church (with appropriate cover) is fine; having a 3 YO yank your top up suddenly is not.</p>
<p>And, yes, everyone has to “refuse” once in a while. You can’t nurse while you’re driving, and pulling over to do so isn’t always feasible.</p>