<p>I nursed “on demand” when my kids were infants and they both fell into their own fairly regular but very different schedules (not formal schedule , just natural sleep/eat pattern). As they got older and were eating table food (never ate baby food) they nursed 2-3 times per day and not on demand. It was a morning/nap/ night thing. Nursing can evolve as the parent and kid grow and can be ended many ways. It’s not as if “attachment parenting” and “on demand” nursing for an infant mean that you will be carrying a 3 yr old around in a sling and letting them pull your shirt up at will. They were both weaned before pre-school.</p>
<p>I actually never realized that people nursed more than young toddlers, I assumed people stopped by age 2, at least. I’ve never seen a kid nursing that even made me think twice about their age. Never occurred to me that there were those who nursed after age 4. I found it incredibly painful, though I suffered through it when the kids were babies…the thought of nursing for years, staying away from all medication, coffee and wine, painfully with a hungry large kid would have been a horror. Though I’ll bet the weight loss benefits are great. Just not something that I’ve ever even thought about.</p>
<p>It is more common than many think for moms to continue nursing for some length of time between 1 and 3 years old. I would guess that it drops off pretty quickly after 3-3.5 years. I think the almost 4 and older nursers likely are at the far end of the continuum and also likely have specific “views” or strongly held philosophy/lifestyle/“political” beliefs around it. </p>
<p>What the photo does is take an activity and a general parenting framework and stretch it towards the extreme which might lead people to think that if you do nurse on damand and co-sleep or use a sling with your infant or younger toddler you will be like the “stars” later - packing your 5 year old around on your hip.</p>
<p>“painfully with a hungry large kid would have been a horror.”</p>
<p>How many times has it been noted that older nursing is for comfort, and not for sustenance? Toddlers main source of food is FOOD.</p>
<p>Interesting article in NYT blog Well today about large numbers of toddlers receiving serious damage from tippy cups and bottles requiring ER visits - 4 every hr during the time period studied or over 45,000 injuries.</p>
<p>My older son for months said he would stop breastfeeding “When he was four.” He liked to nurse first thing in the morning and right before bedtime, but spent the rest of the day happily eating solid food and drinking cow’s milk and the like from real cups. On the morning of his fourth birthday when he asked to nurse, I said, “It’s your birthday today.” He replied “Not till 9 o’clock”, and then nursed for the last time ever. </p>
<p>What’s too old? No idea, I’ve heard of a handful who nursed sporadically till their kids were six. I’ve never met a kid who was interested after that. Marian describes the usual process very well. I don’t even know when I last nursed my second child because it really was a gradual thing.</p>
<p>By the time the kids were older I did drink wine or beer in moderation and took the occasional ibuprofin for headaches. Luckily for me, nursing was only painful with my first child for the first two weeks until we both got the hang of it.</p>
<p>I hesitate to ask this, but I am genuinely curious and think we have a wonderful sample of experiences to draw from here. I wonder how toddlers/kids who have been nursed to an age where they “recall it” perceive the breast as an object. My youngest who nursed till 1 1/2 yrs old, would occasionally touch my breast, (for literally a moment, maybe every few weeks, so not at all a regular thing) as a three/four year old…kind of as a love object, like a toddler might touch their beloved stuffed animal. (which he never had)</p>
<p>I remember someone noticing him touch my breast, and look aghast as if it was completely inappropriate. I felt sad, thinking of course the breast was a “touchable” part of my body to him, given the nursing relationship. I hope people understand where this is coming from as I would be interested in hearing others’ experiences.</p>
<p>^^^</p>
<p>Myturnnow,</p>
<p>My youngest would stick her hand down my blouse as an infant (around 6-12 months) if she was sleepy and I was carrying her. She was pretty fast in doing so, so I learned to be prepared to reposition her before she did it.
The older ones said she was such a little pig she was just checking to make sure her lunch was still there.:)</p>
<p>Quote from parent 1986: “Interesting article in NYT blog Well today about large numbers of toddlers receiving serious damage from tippy cups and bottles requiring ER visits - 4 every hr during the time period studied or over 45,000 injuries.”</p>
<p>I’m trying to imagine how so many toddlers, “4 every hour” could be “receiving serious damage form tippy cups and bottles requiring ER visits.” I guess I could understand injuries from straws protruding from some types of sippy cups, but other than that I really can’t imagine how they’d be injured by a bottle or a sippy cup. I guess my three were lucky. They drank from sippy cups until they mastered drinking from regular cups without any injuries.</p>
<p>I nursed my son until he was over two years old. When he was nursing he would always wrap my hair around his hand. Only when he was nursing. To this day, if he doesn’t feel well or is upset, he will plop himself in my lap with his face against my chest and wrap his hand around my hair. He is now 13 and about six inches taller than I am.</p>
<p>bamagirls, I think I meant the rate of one every four hours - but check the article to be sure.</p>
<p>:) I wasn’t being smart…just trying to imagine how. Mine came up with some other very creative ways to injure themselves…not sure how they missed this one. One actually stuck a french fry up her nose where it disappeared. That was an interesting trip to the ER.:)</p>
<p>I don’t have set ages in my head for developmental milestones.
We are all individuals, and the age that someone learns how to ride a bike, drive a car, how to drive, depends on interest, access, readiness, skill…</p>
<p>For example, one child had training wheels on their bike when they were eleven years old. No real interest in riding it, and a poor sense of balance. Should their parents have forced the issue? Their sibling took the bike to school on Bike day, when they were five. They brought it home without the training wheels.</p>
<p>Another child continued to have toileting accidents when they were eleven. Very sound sleeper, just apparently sometimes didn’t wake up. When their body was developmentally ready they stopped. Had nothing to do with their independence or intelligence.</p>
<p>I agree that the don’t offer don’t refuse does have to be modified.
Not safe to nurse while driving, not feasible to do so when wearing a dress with a back zipper, etc. I did use delaying tactics occasionally, but allowed nursing when it was a better time and place. Breastfeeding kids are pretty smart, they don’t ask to nurse when it is wildly inappropriate. Not more than once or twice anyway.</p>
<p>I wonder if the injuries received from cups/bottles could be related to heating/overheating liquid inside? Perhaps from putting the whole thing in a microwave?
[Lesson</a> of the week Warming milk?a preventable cause of scalds in children](<a href=“http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1117435/]Lesson”>Lesson of the week Warming milk—a preventable cause of scalds in children - PMC)</p>
<p>Manufacturers have agreed to remove bpa from bottles.
[No</a> BPA For Baby Bottles In U.S.](<a href=“http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/03/05/AR2009030503285.html]No”>http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/03/05/AR2009030503285.html)</p>
<p>I’m sort of an “earth mother” type. I have 7 kids, nursed all of them from 8mo - 2+ years each–total of over 10 years. Family bed, homebirth, all that stuff. Even met Dr. Sears at a homebirthers’ conference back in the early 90s. I lived in Africa for two years where I saw nursing moms, exposed breasts all the time. (What I don’t remember seeing is nursing toddlers/older children–I don’t know if it happened or it was more in private, but it seemed that once a kid was running around, he/she was no longer nursing.He/she would be put to work collecting firewood, fetching water by then!. . .don’t recall seeing tandem nursing, either.) Molars come in around age 2. I think that is a natural sign that the child is ready for all types of food.
Public nursing and extended nursing don’t bother me. I wouldn’t tell any mother when to wean. (I would advise all mothers to breastfeed at least for a short time for immune system benefits–I understand that nursing doesn’t fit in with some moms’ work schedules or some have difficulties and wean early. But even those early weeks/months offer many benefits.) I find the “sexualization” of breasts offensive. (I mean those who believe breasts are primarily men’s playthings and eye candy, as opposed to those who see the breasts’ function as providing milk for the child.) I think there is no reason for anyone to complain or report on moms nursing infants discreetly in public places like stores, churches, etc. (Some older people complained about moms nursing in our church–I couldn’t believe it–these moms were completely covered up. I think some were grossed out by the sound effects of some noisy nursers. Those who complained must have come from the era when “nobody” breastfed–and the few who did, only at home, in the bedroom.)
All that said, to answer the question above, I think the Time cover is “icky” and does nothing to promote natural breastfeeding. For me, there is a time between age 2 and 3 where nursing goes from “ah, sweet” to “eewww, ick.” When a toddler or pre-schooler can talk and the kid is lifting the mom’s shirt and asking to nurse in public, that becomes icky to me. (I’ve known people who nursed until 5 or 6–in private. I think it’s weird and has more to do with mom making a statement than needs of the child–again, my opinion.) Up to age 2–green light. Age 2-3–yellow light. 3±-red light. And 4+ not in public. Why? I think it has to do with the size of the child and the way the child talks to and grabs at the mom–imo it isn’t age appropriate. I think that’s why the Time cover is so “icky” to me, too. The kid is SO big, and made to look even bigger by the chair. The position is unnatural–standing up/mom looking at camera? Creepy. (Don’t care what they do at home.) I’ve never done “tandem nursing” either, though I’ve known some who did. I don’t understand how the mom maintains nursing during pregnancy–milk supply goes down, breasts are sore. I think most women who have somewhat closely spaced children do not do tandem nursing for this reason. As soon as they get pregnant, they want to wean the older child because it is just too uncomfortable and the milk isn’t there. Most moms in this country have quit nursing by 6 months, so even getting them to extend that to one year (let alone 2) would be virtually impossible. I would guess that if you surveyed the general public, must folks become uncomfortable seeing nursing toddlers. Probably around age 12-18mo would be the “comfort line.” It also has to do with the size of the kid–a very large 1-2yo nursing off a very petite mom looks “uncomfortable” compared to a small baby with a big mother.</p>
<p>With regard to the “touching” question, nursing babies who are old enough to have achieved coordination in their hands have a tendency to want to seek out and touch the nipple of breast #2 while they are suckling at breast #1. At least one of my two sons did this, and I heard about it from others.</p>
<p>I didn’t like the idea, or the sensation, at all, and I gently moved the little hand away the one or two times when it happened (just as I jumped and jerked the first time little teeth nipped me a bit), and after that it was not repeated. They quickly learn not to repeat something that gets a negative reaction.</p>
<p>Possibly there are moms who allow this type of touching…I really don’t know.</p>
<p>My nursing toddlers never pulled at my shirt. They would ask, verbally, to nurse using a made-up word that only our family members understood. If it was an inappropriate time/place, I’d say “later” and it would be accepted.</p>
<p>My nursing 1.5-2.5 would poke at my belly button. After he was weaned he still would hone in and try to burrow for my belly button when snuggling - I went around with very tightly tucket shirts and jammies for awhile. He was and is still big, and would have looked weird nursing in public, but by that time it was nap and bed anyway. Now at 15 he will still climb into the big chair with me to snuggle while watching TV.</p>
<p>On running around or teething as benchmarks to stop nursing - DS started teething at 4 months and was running around at 10 months, so that wouldn’t have gotten my very far developmentally. At 8 months he was climbing up and sitting on sister’s little toddler bike (w/training wheels)</p>
<p>
Mine is the same way and I love that. He had a concert recently and as he marched past me out of the auditorium, he veered over a bit to give me a kiss right in front of all his friends. Let me tell you, the other moms were very envious!</p>
<p>my youngest, just turned 16, will also snuggle on the couch and shares much of what goes on in his world…</p>
<p>also has a steady girlfriend for last 9 mos, who shares holidays with us, as he does with her, very sweet first relationship.</p>
<p>I’ve never done “tandem nursing” either, though I’ve known some who did. I don’t understand how the mom maintains nursing during pregnancy–milk supply goes down, breasts are sore. I</p>
<p>When my 2nd son was born, my older son had just turned 2 and hadn’t nursed in about 11 months. He would stand really close and watch the baby nurse with kind of a wishful look on his face. I asked him if he wanted to do it. He said yes, but he really had no remembrance of what to do. He put his mouth on the side of my breast and kind of kissed it, then gave a “this is nothing to want,” look and went back to his toys and never expressed any interest in nursing again. lol</p>
<p>My opinion and experience are in line with Atomom #212 above. 2 years, 4 months, not in public after the early months. </p>
<p>I didn’t teach him words/euphemisms for nursing or breast or say “do you want to nurse?” That saved me the embarrasment of having him chirp up in public.</p>
<p>The cover is creepy, it reminds me of “giving baby the gussie” in the book, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.</p>
<p>bamagirls, probably because the toddlers were “toddling” around carrying a sippy cup and not sitting in a high chair.</p>
<p>zmom and myturnnow, my son turned 22 last month, and every now and then, if we’re at a movie or watching TV together on the sofa, he’ll still sit close to me and lean his head on my shoulder and stay that way for a while. And he’s still willing to give me a kiss in public when we’re saying hello or goodbye. </p>
<p>All of which I think is wonderful!</p>