<p>I don’t know what the “right” age to cease breastfeeding is, and I know it varies depending on various factors, but it does seem that when a child is old enough to race up to mom, flip her shirt up, and undo her bra with one hand like an expert ladies man, it’s probably time to think about weaning.</p>
<p>Questions about just who is holding on to the comfort of breastfeeding (mother or child), and whether the comfort is a hindrance, a crutch, an unwillingness to accept a child’s natural progression, or the key to true lifelong bonding and self esteem will always be debated. I personally was only able to breastfeed for about 9 months due to factors beyond my control, and I do remember being filled with tremendous regret at the sudden cessation.</p>
<p>Romanigypsyeyes, I understand the whole thing can seem foreign when you are not a mother (it did to me), but I assure you it is definitely not “weird,” and in fact is exactly how our bodies were designed to function, both mother’s and child’s. We are indeed lucky that we have other options, of course. For most of the human experience, if a mother couldn’t breastfeed, the outlook for the child was quite grim unless one had the means and opportunity to procure a “wet nurse.”</p>
<p>^ Well, I was told from an early age that my body wasn’t “designed” to have children so the whole idea of pregnancy, childbirth, and nursing is weird to me. Technology is changing that, but the whole idea is taking me a lot longer to get used to than most women. I always assumed I would adopt, never birth.</p>
<p>Again, it might change when or if I have children.</p>
<p>you may not choose to share more here, but I wonder if that notion about your body not being designed to have children is accurate romani? have you asked your gynecologist if this is true?</p>
<p>I would imagine that many young women, even those who have always dreamed of being mothers, might feel a little uncomfortable with the concept of breastfeeding. We have so associated it with sexuality, it can be hard to change gears mentally, at least before motherhood. And certainly, being an adoptive mother can definitely be a hindrance to breastfeeding, though I have heard that bodies can be helped to achieve it without pregnancy. I don’t know much about that, I admit.</p>
<p>Yes. It is not impossible, just very very difficult and I have been prepared from a young age to know that I will likely never have children. Again, things have changed dramatically because of technology though.</p>
<p>From a global perspective, it’s very normal. Here in the US we tend to have this really unhealthy mix of overly sexualizing while also being puritanical about breasts and the fact that they have dual use.</p>
<p>Having been around nursing older toddlers, there really is nothing creepy about it. Of course, I’ve never seen a toddler standing on a stool while Mom stares down the world either. It tends to be a lot more natural than that.</p>
<p>Can’t some people just find perfectly natural things creepy? Does it HAVE to be because of society? </p>
<p>I find ghosts perfectly uncreepy and even normal. Society teaches me otherwise. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with how I see them or how others see them. Sometimes, people are just strange and find perfectly normal things creepy, or not, and it is what it is. Again, there is NOTHING wrong with it. </p>
<p>I nannied for 5 children for a few summers. I was in the room all the time while my boss breastfed. I had absolutely no issue with it. Just to ME, the idea of it, is CREEPY. That’s all.</p>
<p>It seemed that way to me, too. In fact, nursing beyond 6 months seemed weird to me. And then I ended up breastfeeding both of my kids until they gave it up on their own – one just before turning 2 and one just before turning 3.</p>
<p>It’s amazing how different you can feel about a situation when you’re in the middle of it than you did when you were thinking about it ahead of time.</p>
<p>I second Marian. As with many things in life, until you’ve tried it, don’t knock it. I would never have pictured nursing as long as I did with my last when I started having kids (although I did go two years with the first). It just evolved and I was so much more comfortable with myself as a parent with my fourth kid that I could do what felt right without second-guessing it.</p>
<p>Before I became pregnant I never really thought about the logistical stuff.
I was one of the last in my immediate circle to become pg however, and as the other women breastfed and even had midwife attended births, I was more drawn to researching that and ended up doing long term nursing & family bed, even though I couldn’t have predicted that.</p>
<p>I don’t know much about it either, except that I know that it’s possible. There are certainly cases in which a baby has two moms, in which they both are able to share nursing, even though only one of them went through the pregnancy.</p>
<p>Romani, it is always good to keep an open mind where medicine is concerned.
For example, they told my grandma she couldn’t have anymore children because she had a tipped uterus.
She didn’t, but she also had separate beds from grandpa.</p>
<p>'If 248 or 249 were in response to me, I said numerous times that it might change if/when I have children"</p>
<p>That is a much more perceptive and mature outlook than I ever had. I never wanted to have kids, I thought the entire ordeal was disgusting and I really didn’t like babysitting at all (though I did it quite often). Did not like kids, or dogs either, for that matter. No maternal instinct, wanted to get my tubes tied at 23. But what ended up changing my mind was a friend of mine who loved her daughter so much, and told me about what a beautiful experience it was having her. I started thinking about it differently. Of course, as it ended up, I got stuck having natural childbirth both times, and it was painful and rather awful, not beautiful at all (until it was over). I remember thinking, please somebody just kill me with a knife because I’d rather die now, like that, than with this head stuck out of my…</p>
<p>Well anyways, it was worth it, and my boys are the best thing I’ve ever done. And they are beautiful now. I’d say since you have an open mind, you’re going to end up having kids. Forget natural childbirth and it will be fine.</p>
<p>A friend of mine, had a terrible car accident at 18. They told her she would never, ever have kids. Well, age 21 and two kids later…unintentionally, oops! Sometimes the doctors are just clueless.</p>
<p>My boss just went through a very traumatic pregnancy and birth. She is in her early 40s and was told she’d never have children. Then WHOOPS! surprise! Anyway, one day at work she told me a LOT of the details and I was MORTIFIED. She thought my squemishness was hilarious and kept going. Her baby is absolutely beautiful. A complete nightmare, but absolutely beautiful. My poor boss lol.</p>
<p>I have a maternal instinct. I’m everyone’s mother. I’m absolutely fabulous with kids (and dogs!) and they love me. It’s the pregnancy, birth, and all that that scares the bejeesus out of me.</p>
<p>I think you have the hard part down, actually. Pregnancy really isn’t so bad for most people. A few get morning sickness for awhile, which would be unpleasant. Most of us, the problem is you get rather fat, and getting around is hard to deal with in the later months. Then again, plenty of it has to do with, well I’m so fat anyways I just as well may as well eat the entire box of donuts. Lack of willpower. I hated giving up coffee.</p>
<p>The childbirth wouldn’t be so awful if you planned to make sure and get an epidural and drugs ahead of time, had a good action plan and a doctor who agreed with it. A friend of mine, both times, thought it was all so dreamy and wonderful. She got all the drugs, and because she was on medicare and didn’t have to pay for anything, she decided just to stay in the hospital for some extra time and relax (most of us get booted out rather quickly, nowadays). I figured, hey if all these other millions of women can do it (and some are pretty wimpy and mentally weak), I guess I can do it. And it doesn’t last forever.</p>
<p>“That’s a good trick-getting Medicare to pay for childbirth.”</p>
<p>It was an interesting comparison, having a child at the same time. My friend got everything paid for, luxuriated in not having to make choices based on finances, staying at the hospital longer to relax. We were the working poor, even with insurance it cost $3K, foregoing epidural and drugs to save money. Definitely didn’t seem right. Then again, life ain’t fair. </p>
<p>Ha, I meant medicaid, not medicare. Hey, if someone is having babies at 65, I say give em all the help they can get, they need it!</p>
