<p>^^Money isn’t everything and I agree that even though she is the child’s mother, she may have been short sighted when it comes to having her son pose for this picture.</p>
<p>Anyway…</p>
<p>Happy Mother’s Day everyone. Since we’re on the topic of breasts, let this be a reminder to each of us to continue to look out for our children by performing regular breast exams and having mammograms so we’ll be there to pass along our advice for a long time. I hope everyone enjoys their weekend!:)</p>
<p>No one is saying money is everything. Just that it is a possibility and the mom may have decided it is a fair trade-off. The picture may have long forgotten by the time the kid grows up.</p>
<p>It is her son and her choice, but the comments here are in response to the original post. For her son’s sake, I hope it was worth whatever $ she may have received since he is too young to have made the decision for himself.</p>
<p>My wish is that every woman who would like to try to breastfeed would have the support and information available to make it work for as long as she would like.</p>
<p>“That is why so many women are so passionate about it. It compares to nothing I had done before or have done since. It’s natural for you to want everyone to experience that. I just have to remind myself that, had I gotten my way, I would have stopped after a couple of weeks.”</p>
<p>I guess it’s interesting to ponder what it is about this topic that makes (some) women want to evangelize. I have done a lot of things in my life I’ve really enjoyed, but I typically don’t go around telling other people they need to do X, unless they were to ask me for advice. Why is this topic different? I’m training for a 5k now and getting into running, but I don’t go about wishing everyone would run or that they’re missing out on the fun I’m having. I trust people to be able to figure out what experiences they want and which they don’t.</p>
<p>“Re the instinct issue…whether or not one wants to breastfeed may be sociologically determined, but once one decides to do so and learns how, for most moms it is a wonderful experience that feels so right.”</p>
<p>If that were the case, you wouldn’t have had wet nurses throughout history, and women would have turned their noses up at formula. I think it’s fair to suggest that throughout human history, some women enjoyed it, some women hated it, and most women were neutral - because they just didn’t have a choice.</p>
<p>[Breastfeeding</a> - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breastfeeding]Breastfeeding”>Breastfeeding - Wikipedia)</p>
<p>“The World Health Organization (WHO) and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) emphasize the value of breastfeeding for mothers as well as children. Both recommend exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life. The AAP recommends that this be followed by supplemented breastfeeding for at least one year, while WHO recommends that supplemented breastfeeding continue up to two years or more.[9][10][11] While recognizing the superiority of breastfeeding, regulating authorities also work to minimize the risks of artificial feeding.[7]”</p>
<p>^^Or, the health benefits were previously unknown to the wealthy, as they are known today.</p>
<p>
I would say that there is a lot of misinformation on the issue. I wish I had a nickel for every woman who told me when I was a LLL leader that she couldn’t breastfeed because her breasts were either too small or too big. There are many pediatricians who aren’t as informed as they could be in helping women breastfeed, there are a lot of husbands who are uncomfortable, and the formula lobby is hyper-aggressive in roping in new customers. That’s a lot of agendas to battle at a very vulnerable time. Some women could use a helping hand.</p>
<p>Really interesting points about wet nurses and the question of how is enjoying breastfeeding different from enjoying the endeavor of exercising and training for a race.</p>
<p>When it comes to wet nurses, I guess the upper classes have always had a tendency to hand child rearing duties over to someone else?</p>
<p>When it comes to breastfeeding vs exercise…well, most people have felt good from exercise at some point in their life, and so they know what it’s like. Until you breastfeed, it’s very hard to know what it’s like. It’s kind of a surprise. My guess is that only those who have actually done it are the most zealous advocates.</p>
<p>Maybe it’s a bit like someone who has had a profound religious experience and thereafter can’t restrain herself from talking about it.</p>
<p>It’s really good that infant formula exists. For whatever reason, there was a time when breastfeeding was actively discouraged, and a lot of women bought into the notion that the “modern view” must be the correct view.</p>
<p>In my opinion 3,4 years old is way to old to be breast feeding. The parents are babying a toddler who should already be starting to learn a level of independence. It’s similar to how a lot of these parents still baby their kids in college when they are adults.
Here comes the lightening bolts</p>
<p>Skater, I have found that the more you allow young children to develop according to their own timetable, the more fully ready they are when they move to the next stage.</p>
<p>The adults who have difficulty letting go of their children once they reach adulthood, have not been in my experience the same adults who practiced a continum style of parenting. Rather the opposite.</p>
<p>Nursing isn’t “babying”, & I expect that if you looked at other normal developmental measurements like walking, toileting, speaking, that children who haven’t yet been weaned attain those milestones at the same ages as those who have been bottle fed.</p>
<p>Honestly, so what if indeed she’s fostering “babying”? It’s her kid and her problem to deal with. I just can’t get worked up over other people’s parenting practices unless they rise to the level of abuse or neglect. I also don’t think these aspects of parenting practices that young parents think are so important (breast/bottle, crib/family bed, stroller/sling, etc.) matter all that much in any kind of long run. Certainly as a parent of college age students - which everyone on this forum is - I think we deal with issues that are far, far bigger than any of those kinds of issues, even though in the moment we thought they were huge.</p>
<p>It actually can matter a great deal in the long run IMO.
Our oldest was born to a blue collar couple, neither attended college, mom hadn’t graduated high school. She was born ten weeks early, small for dates ( her umbilicus had three true knots compromising growth in utero), suffered hemmoraging throughout including her brain. (prompting emergency surgery at almost two days old) </p>
<p>I visited her everyday, sitting by her bed for 14 hrs although we didnt live in town. I got to know some of the other families and their children and witnessed how babies responded or didnt respond. In one particularly poignant case, a premature baby was to be adopted. She was only a month early and didn’t have major problems but her birth mother didn’t visit, probably because she didn’t want to attach to the child, and the adoptive parents didn’t visit , according to the nurses because they were worried the baby might not live. Unfortunately the nurses weren’t able to give her much attention & this hospital didnt follow the practice of kangaroo care. [‘Kangaroo</a> care’ boosts preemie survival | Booster Shots | Los Angeles Times](<a href=“Archive blogs”>'Kangaroo care' boosts preemie survival) The baby died.
My own D was discharged two weeks before her due date weighing 3lbs10oz.h while she had gained a gm. a day in the hospital, once she was home she gained an oz a day.She was followed through a special study for high risk infants at the university until she was in third grade.
As I mentioned I nursed her as soon as she was strong enough, she slept with us & she didn’t wean until she was ready.
She also taught herself to read when she was three, was tested as having an iq of over 160,and while she did continue to have slight gross motor delay through most of her childhood, she never had to be rehospitalized and continues to be healthy.</p>
<p>I know that sleeping with us, and keeping her close stimulated her nervous system so that it was able to heal the damage caused by her prematurity & then some.</p>
<p>It may not make that much difference in the case of two comparatively healthy babies which method of feeding you use, but I think in the case of babies who are at risk, whether because of birth complications or even just familial allergies, it does make a difference.</p>
<p>^ Amazing story, emeraldkity4. I wonder if her pre- and post-birth experiences affected her IQ? In a sense she is truly yours.</p>
<p>I asked my mom today why she never breast fed me. She said it was because neither of us really wanted it. Apparently she tried it a few times and I just wasn’t interested so she gave up. She was fine with this as she went back to work shortly after my birth. She never thought it was an issue until she was ridiculed by others who brought up the subject with her (my mom is not the type to bring up stuff like this, though she will answer honestly). She never felt the need to explain herself to them, but I could tell it bothered her. </p>
<p>I was a very independent baby… in fact, my mom said I never was a baby. I pushed my head up the day I got home (seriously, it’s a funny picture… me pushing myself up and my mom’s face is just one of disbelief) and I never did pull-ups (I one day got rid of diapers and never looked back). She just figures the not wanting to breastfeed thing was me further proving that I was born a three year old. She also calls me an alien (lovingly, of course).</p>
<p>She also said I just never liked putting things in my mouth. I never liked pacifiers and I never sucked my thumb. I didn’t put things in my mouth like most babies.</p>
<p>What a beautiful and inspiring story, emeraldkity4!</p>
<p>emeraldkity - if you want to play anecdotes, mine were premature as well (9 weeks early), were in NICU for 2 months, were part of a premie follow-up clinic, S had an intraventricular brain hemorrhage and D a heart condition; we didn’t do any of the supposed “AP rules” about extended bfing or family bed or 24/7 fetish-like attachment to my body, we just took them home and loved them and cared for them to the best of our ability, they were remarkably healthy children given their rough start, and are now both good students at very good colleges. If those things were important to you to do, then great and I’m glad you did / enjoyed them - but there are a lot of ways to skin a cat and a lot of ways to raise a family.</p>
<p>*^Who are we to say? The mom may have gotten paid quite a lot for the photo that she can put aside for her kid.
*</p>
<p>Money isn’t everything…and you couldn’t pay me ANY amount that would risk my child being held up for ridicule later. There are ways to make good money without making your child a possible subject for teasing/bullying/etc. Good heavens!!</p>
<p>this kid is nearly four and only a short-time away from being in school, sports, ECs, whatever. If his family continues to live in their present community, there will be enough kids/families who will remember that pic and it will come up. I can imagine all kinds of scenarios when kids will throw out a zinger (oh you’re upset, go suck on mommy’s boobie…and so forth.) Once it gets brought up ONE time, others who were unaware of it, will join in and continue the teasing. </p>
<p>Don’t many of us consider possible teasing when we name our kids? Don’t we think about, “hmmm, how can this name be twisted, rhymed, or shortened into some kind of insult?”</p>
<p>The picture isn’t dirty, it’s just shows poor judgement.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Oh well, if she got paid lots of money, then it’s definitely ok for her to use her child this way. I mean, that’s why we have children, right?</p>
<p>I agree M2ck and Blankmind. From the segment on Nightline this week, it doesn’t appear money is an issue for her anyway, but I guess you can never tell. Her home appeared quite lavish and the fact she would have been no more than 20 when she adopted her older son (not the four year old in the picture) as shown on Nightline, I’m guessing she must have financial means and/or influence. It would likely be quite difficult if not impossible for most people to adopt a child at age 20 or less without it. The story said she is now 26 and showed her with two boys and stated she adopted the older child who was now at least six if not older and made the point that she had also practiced attachment parenting with him after his adoption. Kudos for adopting, but I still think the picture was not in the child’s best interest regardless of any incentive that may have been received. Of course she is his parent and not me and we all make mistakes as parents, but I’m afraid this may be one of them that has the potential to cost the child later.</p>
<p>Happy Mother’s Day!</p>