<p>I’m feeling kind of like the family leper here. Family has no breast cancer exept my case at 35. Now mom is in for what looks like a certain diagnosis on her last mammogram at age 75.<br>
Caught between feeling like it’s “my fault” and needing to be the family font of all cancer info…
YIkes, after 15 years I just wanted to be thinking cancer wasn’t my thing!</p>
<p>Dragonmom:</p>
<p>Sorry for the bad news. But her cancer is not your fault. Genes are passed down, not up.
After 15 years, much has changed. You and other members of your family will need to learn together. There is no reason for you to the sole font of outdated knowledge. My best wishes for your mom!</p>
<p>dragonmom - the rates for women getting regular mammograms is depressingly low, despite constant education around us. Perhaps, your mom was diligent with her mammograms because of what you went through, and perhaps they have caught it earlier than they would have had she not followed through with the mammogram.</p>
<p>Hang in there.</p>
<p>Agree with teriwtt. You probably inspired your mom to get a mammogram, and that may have extended her life.</p>
<p>Here’s a link to the Livestrong Foundation that provides free support and information to cancer survivors and their families: [Lance</a> Armstrong Foundation: Cancer Support](<a href=“http://www.livestrong.org/site/c.khLXK1PxHmF/b.2661019/k.8FE9/Cancer_Support.htm]Lance”>http://www.livestrong.org/site/c.khLXK1PxHmF/b.2661019/k.8FE9/Cancer_Support.htm)</p>
<p>Hugs to you and your mom.</p>
<p>Keep in mind that treatment for breast cancer has made a ton of progress in the last fifteen years. For example, I was amazed at the difference in having a mammotome biopsy last year compared to the incisional one that I had years ago. Lots of good stuff with respect to diagnosis and treatment are available now. </p>
<p>The waiting for the full diagnosis and the first few days after it were the toughest times for me. Those days were much more difficult and emotional than the subsequent surgery and radiation. </p>
<p>Sending you thoughts of peace and calm. Hang in there.</p>
<p>For what it’s worth, premenopausal breast cancer (what you had) and postmenopausal breast cancer (what your mom may have) are so different in risk factors, prognosis, etc., that they might as well be considered two different diseases. </p>
<p>And you’re not the leper. You’re the tour guide. I bet you will be a lot of help to your mom as she goes through all the medical rigamarole surrounding her condition.</p>
<p>dragonmom,
I’m sorry to hear about your mom. Please do not feel guilty – no reason to. But be glad that with your 15 year survival you can be a bright light of hope for her. You are a good example of positive outcomes! And it’s true that treatments are changing so very quickly. When I was first diagnosed last year I began researching right away, but soon had information overload, and realized I just needed to wait till I had all the info. I could get about MY specific cancer. This really narrowed down what I concentrated on, and everything was not so overwhelming.
Congratulations on your 15 years. I look forward to many such milestones myself. I’m sure you will be a source of strength for your mom. Best of luck.</p>