<p>I just heard on the news that a mom panhandled for her sons remaining expences at his dream college for dance. There were many people deeply annoyed that she took this route for an expence they felt was a want and not a need. </p>
<p>This story made me think back to the day when my second and third and forth child was accepted to their dream schools. I remember standing by the computer as they each pressed that key to learn if they had been accepted. At that moment I remember thinking that I would go to the end of the earth to make those tuition payments. I told each of my kids that I would go to distant neighborhoods and clean toilets for people if it meant they were able to attend the schools they had been accepted to. As it turned out I have been fortunate to be able to pay their tuitions from savings, HELOC, and increasing my hours of work. They all work during the school year and every penny of their summer earnings go to their tuition payments. But, do I understand what drove this woman to hit the streets and beg for money? I would say that I understand, because I remember each time we stood excitedly by that computer- I thought about selling my home and cleaning others toilets if that is what it took.</p>
<p>This was not money for college. This is for high school (note the last paragraph of the article) I’m sorry, but I have a problem with it. There are many kids who are unable to attend their “dream” schools because of finances. She may have been able to collect the money to get him there, but she’ll be out there panhandling for quite a while in order to keep him there.</p>
<p>Why do so many parents get in a sacrificing mindset when their child is in high school?
I’ve heard these words so much. I read once about a jewelry chain’s ad campaign designed to appeal to new mothers. The ad was selling gold and diamond charms to new fathers to reward mothers for delivering their husbands with an heir.
I shook my head. If my husband had done that for me instead of opening up a college fund upon the birth of our daughter, I would have been angry every time I looked at that piece of jewelry.
I know, most people aren’t making the choice between diamonds and college funds but they have made bad planning errors and wasted money that could have been invested 10 or fifteen years ago. My d’s portfolio is down 20 percent but I was told 20 years ago that a private school education would be two hundred grand in 2012. We didn’t reach that goal, but fortunately she has had some scholarship help. Not need based, but that’s ok. I’d rather see need based aid go to the truly needy, not me and not those that failed to plan ahead. By the way, we don’t earn much, we just save and we don’t carry debt.</p>
<p>thecheckbook— It sounds like yoy have sacrificed as much as any parent would so that your child could attend her dream school. </p>
<p>Toledo----You are correct, I googled the school and it is in fact a highschool. For students studying dance this period of time is very crucial in the potential career of a dancer. </p>
<p>She did what most of us would do having a talented and devoted child–she sacrificed. I think it is important to note that she is also an unemployed single mom. </p>
<p>Would I personally hold a sign and beg for money to send my child to school-NO. But I would have put my professional side in a closet and cleaned toilets if I needed to. I just don’t think we could judge this woman. By the way, her son seems like a wonderful young man that was not in the least bit ashamed and seemed proud to have a mom that believed in him. I wish him the greatest success and if he makes it as a successful dancer he will always remember what his mother did to help him get there.</p>
<p>Reminds me. I’m surprised I haven’t yet heard of the story of the person panhandling so s/he or their family could get the medical care they need. </p>
<p>This country is messed up in some important ways if you ask me.</p>
<p>I don’t sympathize with her. Rather than tell her son that he can’t go to a private elite high school, she chose to put her family in debt. I’m sure she’s sitting out there “begging” for money because: 1) she’s looking for publicity (which she got). 2)she’s hoping for some rich person to give her the money 3) she believes that the idea of using pity and sympathy is easier than going out and working for the extra money. 4) all of the above</p>
<p>Why is it that so many parents are afraid to say “NO” to their kids? Why do so many parents feel the need to buy their children’s love? I suppose it’s time to stop blaming the kids with the entitlement attitude and start blaming the parents.</p>
<p>This is not a story of a kid not having a roof over his head, food in his belly, and a loving family. This is a story of a parent indulging one kid and causing financial instability for the entire family.</p>
<p>No, instead they sell their home, car, sometimes get divorced, hand over custody of their child to the state and go into bankruptcy. I’m sure if panhandling would do it, they’d prefer that.</p>
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<p>My husband got me a stuffed cow from the gift shop. I loved it because it was so sweet looking, I was really sad and we love cows. Every doctor/nurse that walked into my room and heard the stuffed cow was from my husband had a look of pure terror cross their face. Once they heard I had taken no offense and had no plan to kill my husband, they were very relieved.</p>
<p>Mine, too. Yes, I think she should get a job (as if it’s just that easy) and so on but the timing was now. She called this her child’s way out and I believe her. And since the school gave him a 45K scholarship, clearly so do they. As the mother of a son who used to dance, I feel a kinship to her and I want to hug her for taking her son’s dreams so seriously.</p>
<p>starbright- Over the years there have been many cases in both my town and church where families have asked for assistance in helping to pay for their childs overwhelming medical costs. Isn’t that “begging” if you really think about it. I think what people are having a hard time with is the fact that she wrote on a piece of paper and walked on the side of the road for her child to attend this elite private highschool. A parents dream for their child is not like any other dream we may ever personally have. It may seem irrational or rediculus or downright over the top but that really is what mother love is all about. For those that have saved and are prepared - bless you, for those that are struggling and just making it with the high costs of college-bless you too, it will come to an end. For those of you that cant begin to understand that the world is not made up of people who have all their ducks lined up in perfect order- I feel sorry for you. </p>
<p>The woman in this story has so much going for her as a human being-the ability to love her child. She is not selling her body as a prostitute,she is asking those that may be blessed with more to give her a helping hand.</p>
<p>If one of my kids needed medical care and the only way to get it meant putting a sign in my hand and asking people to donate I WOULD DO IT.</p>
<p>It is only my opinion but I think a talent, gift, or high intellect needs to be fostered. In the case of dance specifically the talent must be fostered early on or the dancer does not have a chance to turn the talent into a career. The mother saw her childs dream as a need. The school must have seen it as well or they would not have invested 45,000 dollars a year in his need based aid. </p>
<p>All this woman needed was a few more thousand dollars to make this happen. It may not seem like alot to some but to a single unemployed mom it might as well have been the full freight of the tuition. Should she have told her son he could not attend because she could not afford to fly him there and back in Sept and for holidays? I don’t know, I think that could have had a serious effect on his life.</p>
<p>A serious side effect on his life? Get real. If not attending an elite private high school is going to have a serious effect on his life, than he has bigger issues that need to be dealt with than this. </p>
<p>If she wants to sit out there and beg for money, let her. I’ll donate to a family in need, but not to a family “in want”. Welcome to the “entitled generation” where the word “no” isn’t in their vocabulary.</p>