<p>I (high school student) am really worried about my mom, particularly her mental and physical health, and therefore I keep pushing her to make a doctor’s appointment to try and address at least some of her health issues. However she always says that she doesn’t have the time and blows it off. I am so worried and feeling hopeless. It’s extremely frustrating to me that it seems like she refuses to take care of herself. I will blame myself later if anything extreme happens. Any suggestions?</p>
<p>You’re a good daughter for caring so much about your mom! I can understand why you’re worried. But, as an adult, she is responsible for her own health; and it can be hard to convince an adult to reverse course. Is there a particular reason for your concern - does she appear to have troubling symptoms, or is she having difficulty with day-to-day life?</p>
<p>I can think of a few ways to approach your mom. Look for a teachable moment (parents have those, too) - maybe when you’re in the car together for more than 5 or 10 minutes. Focus on what you see and how you feel about it - not on what your mom “should” do. Tell her how much you need her in your life (we’re suckers for that idea 
). If she’s overweight, she knows she should eat better and exercise more, and doesn’t need to hear that from someone else. No one likes to be preached at. She’ll be more open to hearing how important her presence and good health are to you.</p>
<p>If you feel your mom’s health is in imminent danger, you might be able to talk to another adult in your lives (her sister, best friend, whatever) and ask her to approach your mom with you. </p>
<p>Or you could write your mom a letter. You can edit it until it says what you want it to say. I’ve often used this as a way to open a difficult discussion. Good luck!</p>
<p>It’s possible that your mom is putting off medical care because she knows what it’s likely to entail and is having trouble facing it. For example, if she has a knee problem, she may be aware that the recommended treatment will be surgery, and she may not want to face the disruption in her life that this will cause – or she may just have bad feelings about surgery.</p>
<p>This sort of thing has nothing to do with Mom putting herself last. It’s just a difficulty that many people face when dealing with medical problems. Sometimes people put off getting care because they don’t want to have to deal with the consequences of bringing a problem to the attention of the medical system.</p>