<p>he even kept the ad going once the car was sold. I don’t think she needed to make a public spectacle of her son.</p>
<p>The mom is on Good Morning America in a few minutes …</p>
<p>Well the nature of a segment of society to air their dirty laundry makes the advertisers happy I guess.
:p</p>
<p>It seems to me that it makes a big difference whether this was a first offense or the last straw.</p>
<p>According to the interview, when they bought the car for the 18yo (now 19yo), there were two rules: Keep the car locked and no alcohol in the car ever. She found the alcohol because the car was unlocked!</p>
<p>This woman clearly has some kind of narcissistic need to draw attention to herself and get lots and lots of positive strokes for basically publicly humiliating her own child. Totally off the hook crazy if you ask me. I feel sorry for that kid.</p>
<p>I often wonder at the parents who can’t let go of the “its all about me” syndrome once they have a child or children.</p>
<p>She’s nuts and really, really needs to get over herself.</p>
<p>Let’s see… continues the ad “after” the car is sold. Goes on morning TV to “talk” about her tough love… </p>
<p>yup, she’s a crazy lady. Her 15 minutes of fame… are they really worth doing that to her relationship with her child? </p>
<p>I’m sorry that’s not love or even tough love. That’s “look at me” behavior, I’m this great mom… </p>
<p>There’s an old coaching philosophy I try to follow… praise publically, correct quietly. Seemed to work pretty good for my kids and the kids I coached. </p>
<p>The reason I did this was because there always was going to be another play, another game and another season… coaching for the momment is a short term path to failure…you teach for a lifetime…</p>
<p>The same could be said for parenting for the momment… because what happens next week? Five years from now? 10 years? In 10 years when her son doesn’t call on her birthday, doesn’t visit for the holidays and goes on with his own life… will she remember how she showed her kid at 19 how much she could humilate him publically? </p>
<p>Anybody don’t think that’ll leave a mark?</p>
<p>This woman is obviously too impressed with herself to recognize that parenting an adult child is not about showing who has the upper hand.</p>
<p>What is even more alarming is the responses that she has received from apparent adults who are applauding her vindictive behavior.
Chalk one up for the “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” cadre.</p>
<p>I was an advocate of her actions, even putting it in the paper if she didn’t list name- just number. But once she went on TV- well then yep she’s a crazy control freak. However, I am glad she did it because it was a good reminder at our house that real consequences follow when you break the rules.</p>
<p>Fifteen years ago our neighbor did something similar. I don’t remember what the son had done but the Dad put a “For Sale” sign on the boys car and had it parked out front of the house for two or three days. Any time someone asked about why Dave’s car was for sale the Dad was happy to tell them. The sign was removed after that short time and car was not sold but son was a bit better behaved afterwards. We thought it was funny. This was in a small neighborhood with no thru streets so pretty much just the neighbors even saw it.</p>
<p>Hurrah for the mother! She laid down the rules, and even though she believes her son when he says it was someone else’s booze, she meant it when she said “No booze and keep the car locked.” In her ad, she merely said why they were selling the car after such a short time. The son tagged her so mean, etc. But if he wanted to keep the car, he needed to lay the law down with his friends, etc. Once the ad ran, she sold the car, and received such good feedback from people about her stance, who wanted to keep it running, she left it to run one more week. Not excessive. And as to the talk shows? The news media picked it up and ran with it. And I think it’s a worthwhile message in this day and age of easy parenting - let the kids do whatever.</p>
<p>If they had been consistent through their parenting- they would have already taught their son that decisions have consequences.</p>
<p>By the time they are 18 or 19, they will have already learned that or not.</p>
<p>Since we haven’t heard anything from the father- I wonder what he thinks about this.</p>
<p>ejr…She could have had the same effect by giving him the consequence in private. You break the rules, no car. This is not equivalent to “let the kids do whatever.” She would have expectations and consequences and carry them out. By publicly humiliating him, she has gone beyond consequences to something else. As far ast the TV stations calling, she could have merely said, “I accomplished what I set out to do to give my son a consequence and teach him a lesson and am not interested in going on TV and drawing public attention to him by name.” He is now suffering far greater consequences and possible damage to the relationship with his mother than if she had simply carried out the direct consequences of no driving of the car.</p>
<p>Call me cheap. Call me mean. Call me old-fashioned. I wouldn’t have bought the kid a car to begin with. My D knows that she can borrow my car or my wife’s for important activities. If she really wants a car that badly she can pay for it, although I doubt that will become a priority for her. She is an impassioned environmentalist who looks forward to the day when she can live on a boat and bicycle to work. Well, we’ll see how long that lasts. In the interim I’m glad we don’t have the pressures that many parents do over car issues.</p>
<p>my oldest is 25 and has never owned a car or had one for her regular use.
With current density, we don’t have to travel many miles for work, and for the distances we do travel, walking, bus or bike, is always an option.</p>
<p>I don’t consider myself mean however, & I would be sad if my kids did.</p>
<p>hudsonvalley…the issue would remain, in my view, even if you don’t buy your child a car…because you say she borrows the parents’ cars for activities. So, the rule of no alcohol in the car (or any other driving rule) still would have to be enforced. I don’t really see this so much to do with the ownership or buying of the car but more to do with the driving privileges themselves. Yes, that mother sold the car. But the issue would have existed had she found alcohol under the seat of her own vehicle lent to her son. She still would have needed to take driving privileges. That, to me, is the issue here, more than the buying and selling of a car. Frankly, I’d have suspended driving privileges and not sold the car but that was her right to sell the car. But I don’t see how your situation is all that different because you still have to establish driving rules and consequences, no matter which vehicle your D drives. I don’t have different rules for the vehicle we have bought for the kids to use (we still own the car) than if they were to drive my vehicle.</p>
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<p>Let’s assume for the moment that they have been consistent in their parenting, and that they have already taught their son that decisions have consequences. Isn’t it consistent with that idea that decisions continue to have consequences, and this is one of them?</p>
<p>Anyone happen to know the range of penalties for underage possession and transport? Depending on the state - they’re not pretty. </p>
<p>I have a feeling ten years from now when he calls his mom on her birthday, he will thank her for a strong but relatively consequence-free lesson on the importance of responsibilities over one’s possessions and on potentially keeping him from having a record.</p>
<p>Soozie – That drinking and driving is absolutely verboten goes without saying. Again, I’m thankful that this really isn’t an issue with my D and our cars. My bigger concern is my D in a friend’s car. She has a pretty good head on her shoulders and has a good idea as to which of her classmates drink and drive and which ones don’t. Still, it’s something we worry about everytime she goes to a party that includes a lot of kids outside her immediate circle of friends. </p>
<p>Would I have sold the car if I had found booze in the car I bought for my D? Probably.</p>
<p>^^^Hudson, right…I was simply saying that the issue wasn’t really buying your kid a car or not because the rules about drinking and driving or any other rules about driving still exist between parent and kid as far as driving any car. </p>
<p>If your D is going to a party, I suggest for your own peace of mind, only allow her to drive (since you trust her) and not ride with other student drivers. Further, I would call that house to make sure the parents of the party giver plan to be home and supervising the party and not allowing alcohol before allowing your child to attend. Just my opinion (you may do this already but you did say you worry about the other kids driving her and you can get rid of that concern and insist she drives).</p>
<p>Sorry folks there’s two different things going on here and if you can’t separate them, well, I feel for your children.</p>
<p>At a certain point mommy dearest went past teaching her child a lesson and into strangeland. What about going into the public to chastize your children do you support? Would you go on national TV to tell the world how bad your kid had been? REALLY? You’d do that to your kid? Honestly?</p>
<p>I’m all for a certain level of disipline in the raising of children, however I also understand cruelty when I see it as well. Take the car away, sell it fine, enuf said… to publish the reason and then to appear on tv no that’s not parenting nor is it normal behavior. Honestly, you’d be that cruel to your own children and you’d think they would “thank you” later?</p>
<p>I didn’t even go on local tv to show how *well *my kid was doing.
When my oldest began school @6 ( she had been a premie and was starting school in a “gifted” program)- KOMO( local news station) called us up and wanted to film a segment which would have involved following her around all day from when she got up in the morning to when she came home from her first day of school.</p>
<p>I think my gut reaction was 
but I promised to run it past my H ( I don’t think I asked my daughter because I knew she would have been horrified), I can understand the motivation of who I suspect turned her name into the studio, * it was * pretty amazing for a child to have had level IV intercranial hemmoraging and had gone home after her 8 week stay in the hospital weighing 3&1/2 lbs, to be reading at three yrs. and healthy since her discharge from the NICU- but she was already going to stick out at this school since we were from a completely different socio-economic group , and I wouldn’t dream of something that would interfere with the way she got to know her classmates.</p>
<p>Plus- * I was horrified* at the thought of television cameras in my face before I’d had my double tall ;)</p>
<p>How bad was her child? There was a bottle of booze in the car. The mom went on TV and said there was a bottle of booze in the car. If people think <em>that’s</em> cruel, I can only imagine what horrors the rest of the real world must be presenting. Perhaps all those children should be given little “blue” cards to pull out when life gets tough. Like if a cloud passes overhead.</p>