<p>[Mom</a> sells rule-breaking son’s car](<a href=“http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080109/ap_on_fe_st/odd_car_ad;_ylt=ArFDTHcW9eCWB1bbsrijg4YZ.3QA]Mom”>http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080109/ap_on_fe_st/odd_car_ad;_ylt=ArFDTHcW9eCWB1bbsrijg4YZ.3QA)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Did she go too far with her tough love?</p>
<p>I saw that- and i have to admit that- depending on her past relationship with her son, I would want to check into if it was actually someone elses bottle.
I remember being that age, and if 50 people are all going into town to get hamburgers, they just divide up into cars, you might have someone in your car you don’t even really know.</p>
<p>I can understand her motivation and I applaud her diligence, but I would worry about being the punishment fitting the crime.</p>
<p>It kind of reminds me of Bill Cosby telling his kids that he brought them into this world and he can take them out at any time.
I know he was “kidding”, but I also think that it is an abuse of power.
Rereading the ad- it * really* reminds me of Cosby.
( per the show)
She is not only trying to enforce her rule ( but I didn’t hear any thing about before he was given the car that it was clear that - this would be the consequence), but she is making it public and rubbing it in.
I think that is immature.</p>
<p>Weird. And the car is sold but she is continuing to run the ad. She would be enough to drive a sober person to drink.</p>
<p>I’m not without some experience in the kids-and-alcohol arena, and I consider myself somewhat tolerant to a point. But not when it comes to driving. I don’t know about selling the car outright, because the car our kids drive is a third car and if nothing else, I’d keep it in my driveway as a ‘spare’. But I would definitely take away driving privileges for some amount of time. That just scares me to death- worse case is he kills himself and/or someone else. Driving and drinking is non-negotiable; you just do…not…do…it.</p>
<p>Sorry- there is no excuse for driving with alcohol in the car and come on give me a break maybe it was somebody elses- do you think that matters? It takes one time- that’s it to be killed or kill someone else. Driving is a privalege not a right when- especially if you aren’t paying the insurance and the car payments. I told my kids that if they EVER drink and drive - we will not pay for college= period. There is no excuse. I would drive to the ends of the earth to pick them up, get them a cab- whatever. Yeah maybe I will lecture a bit but if you want to do something meant for responsible people then be responsible enough to not drive. Teens are prone to making mistakes while behind the wheel- add alcohol or drugs and it’s why it is the number one killer of teens!!! I say good for the parents…being a parent isn’t an easy job and the good ones have to make tough decisions. Anyone who doesn’t have to haul their kids around anymore would agree that it’s an equal punishment for the parent to have to return to their previous job of chauffeur. I bet the kid won’t drive with alcohol in the car again.</p>
<p>Generally- anytime you buy something and then sell it- it loses value- you have to pay more to get a replacement
( unless you are talking electronics)</p>
<p>It still sounds weird.
If it was clear that this would be the consequence for finding any indication of contraband in the car, then why would the teen leave the bottle in there if he knew it existed?
Why would she go through the hassle of purchasing a car, only to unload it less than a month later?
But what my question is, if it was a separate car from the family car- what prompted her to go through it?
I think there must be something that isn’t being said.</p>
<p>My kids know it’s not OK to divide up and drive strangers. Think about why some States prohibit young drivers from driving with other kids period.</p>
<p>Any alcohol in a car my kid is responsible for is their responsibility and their cars would be gone too. Probably with less fanfare though.</p>
<p>The bottom line is “she bought the car” therefore it is hers to sell.</p>
<p>Think about why some States prohibit young drivers from driving with other kids period.
Thats a good point- when I was in high school they didn’t even require car seats for kids, now they are required up to 8 years old in some places.</p>
<p>Depending on past history with her kid though- I would still wonder why he would leave a bottle in a car that he knew existed.
I have another thought- I don’t know where they live, but in our area, I have had “people” apparently sleep in my car- without my knowing it.
For example, one winter, when I left it unlocked- there was a cigarette in the ashtray and it smelled like smoke.
Now I don’t smoke & while my H does, he knows he would be D.E.A.D. if he ever smoked in my car. I get mad if he smokes by my car with the window rolled down :p</p>
<p>Im also wondering if he was already drinking, she knew this, but didn’t know how to control it & thought that a big gesture would get him to notice.
Otherwise why would a perfectly sane mom, decide to go through her teen sons car? Thats about as appealing as going through his laundry basket.</p>
<p>She won the battle, but I wonder how the war will go?</p>
<p>I don’t know enough to decide if it was a good idea or just a crazy mom.</p>
<p>I’m not into humiliation as punishment.</p>
<p>Selling the car if he was, in fact, drinking and driving sounds fine–assuming it’s her car to sell–but I’m not a fan of the public display seen in the ad.</p>
<p>The ad seems meanspirited to me. I understand the anger. Selling the car, I can see that. Putting an ad in the paper pointing out her sons’ misdeed, ridiculing him, actually, seems over the top. Sarcasm can backfire in a big way in relationships.</p>
<p>I ran to the store and it was the topic on NJ101.5 talk radio. I don’t know all of the details, but it sounds like the mother purchased the car and set a couple of clear rules , one of which was no alcohol.
I don’t even know if the family lives in NJ, but I do know as a parent of teen drivers living in a police state, we want no pullovers and subsequent tickets.
We made some clear rules when our kids began to drive. We were pretty confident that the no alcohol rule wasn’t an issue ( and I will not pretend to claim that our kids have never tested the water with alcohol use )
That, thank God has never been an issue.</p>
<p>it was more the speeding and potential points issued, thus raising our rates to the point of not being able to afford insuring them.</p>
<p>I made it clear that if a ticket was issued , end of driving and the car is mine.
Luckily, I have never had an issue. I have girls , and I think they are maybe a little more responsible. We also have a lot of connection with several local police depts, but I do not exploit that as some parents might. I am not a big fan of the get out of jail mentality.
If kids screw up, it is a tough lesson to learn, but so be it.</p>
<p>I think the mother was wise to handle the situation as she did, as far as selling the car. Not necessarily airing her dirty laundry</p>
<p>I aplaud that mom for selling the car; if he’s under 21 he shouldn’t be in possession of alcohol (which he is if it’s in his car) whether it’s his or not. I don’t agree with posting the reason for selling it in the newspaper, though. While I sometimes wish drunk drivers would be put in stocks in the public square for public ridicule, I think our law considers that cruel and unusual punishment. What she did is not a whole lot different. I hope it doesn’t bite her in the butt; you never know how a kid will think…“the whole world thinks I’m a boozer now; I may as well be…” He may even be shunned by the non-drinkers and embraced by the real drinkers.</p>
<p>
If memory serves, this was said by the actor BC in the role of Heathcliff Huxtable. I learned a few things about parenting from Heathcliff and Claire. :)</p>
<p>How many times do I have to say it…“NO WIRE HANGERS!!!”</p>
<p>Joan Crawford… crazy lady or sensible mom? ;)</p>
<p>As I said I don’t know enough about the situation to pat her on the back or shake my head… I don’t know how quickly I’d jump on her bandwagon without alot more detail… remember the mom’s who thought you could end bedwetting by hanging the sheets out for the neighbors to see? </p>
<p>There’s tough love and then there’s cruelty… without background information I wouldn’t jump either way. ya all understand my point?</p>
<p>I would go mental if my kid had booze in the car; I completely understand her reaction.</p>
<p>I know a parent who brags that her kid is out drinking or how smart he was to switch the drivers seat with his non-drunk friend when the cops pulled them over. I’m glad Jane is getting praise for acting like a parent!</p>
<p>Good for her. Drinking+teenagers+vehicles=consequences.</p>
<p>I would have taken the keys, but selling the car definitely sends a powerful message. He’ll appreciate it later…</p>
<p>The mom is on Good Morning America in a few minutes …</p>
<p>My inclination would be to suspend driving privileges. I likely would not have sold the car. However, it was this parents’ right to sell the car since she bought it and chose to take it away. </p>
<p>What I think is over the top is the nature of the public humiliation. I would not do that. I think the consequence is over the top in that manner and will cause him harm, whereas taking the car was directly related to his misdeed. She even kept the ad going once the car was sold. I don’t think she needed to make a public spectacle of her son. She did need to be very strong about direct consequences since driving is a privilege and not a right. There are ways to teach a lesson. I don’t think public humiiation is the way.</p>