I was a relatively young mom for my peer group (20 years ago, married at 21 and gave birth at 25). I felt immense pressure to breastfeed but it was pretty much all self-inflicted. My parents didn’t care, his did not, my husband did not, my pediatrician did not. They were all supportive of my decision to try. I gave it my all, but my son would. not. latch. Multiple visits with dr, nurse, consultant—they all said I was doing it right, but he wasn’t.
I called La Leche, and they said under no circumstances should I give up. He just needed more time to “figure it out.” He cried and cried but I kept trying because it was “best.”
At the 2 week visit, the ped said if my son did not gain weight in the next few days, he would have to be admitted to the hospital and fed intravenously. He lost a lot from birth, more than normal. I got a pump and started feeding him breast milk from a bottle–he loved it and started gaining.
I stuck with it another 3 weeks until I got a raging case of mastitis, and found myself at 1am with no more pumped milk. Out came the formula the hospital gave me and I never looked back.
I realized happy relaxed mom equals happy relaxed baby, and fed baby equals healthy baby.
With my younger 2, I knew I didn’t want to breastfeed, and was much more confident in my decision. (I did feed both of them breast milk the first 2 days, but then I was done).
FWIW (I think Romani is the only one on this thread that has childbearing to look forward to)… breastfeeding does NOT always hurt. I never had an ounce of discomfort with D1, which is why I was so surprised when I had to work through that with D2.
In my years as a LLL leader, I also met moms who never experienced the discomfort I did with D2. Every kid is different. So Romani - don’t be discouraged if this is something you ever contemplate doing!
Discomfort was not my issue, either. It was more like Bearpanther and La Leche encouragement as they called it was not at all helpful. After 3 weeks the breast pump was out the door and everyone was much happier and healthier for it.
teriwtt, I’m on the fence about breastfeeding. I have been for years. I honestly have PG’s reaction to babies coming near my chest- cross my arms and “NO!”… but I also know the benefits it can have (though I am not entirely convinced one way or the other that in the industrialized world BF is SOO much better than not). It’s not the pain/discomfort that bothers me. It’s just the thought of BF makes my skin crawl. I’m not a huge fan of babies as it is. But, like I know everyone says, “It’s different when they’re yours!” With that said, you guys should know by now that I’m much too stubborn to be influenced
Besides, just being able to conceive, for me, will be the hard part. Once I get past that stage, I can figure out everything else. Or just let my baby/body dictate to me what I’m going to do.
On another note, regardless of what I end up doing, I fight like hell to ensure that mothers can breastfeed in public. That was one of my pet projects when I was working in the Senate.
Pizzagirl, I know it’s a common issue, having had problems with the first baby none at all with the second. My second wouldn’t take a bottle even when I wanted him to. He was my super-stubborn kid - like saintfan’s. When I went back to work, my babysitter who’d been looking after my oldest for years, almost gave up. My first’s issues were probably partly caused by getting a bottle (water at the hospital) too early.
Regarding breast size - let’s just say I was one of those women who was thrilled to get a little more filled out by breastfeeding. I had a great local La Leche League group, they were not judgmental at all. I remember one woman who was so upset because her family was so anti-breastfeeding and everyone said, she shouldn’t feel guilty at all about quitting, she should be happy she stuck to her convictions for as long as she did.
@Teriwtt, not sure if your comment was about my post , but I really don’t lump them al together…it was just overwhelming because they were a miserable group of women that were speaking badly about there mothers who didn’t breastfeed….it was a huge turnoff to me, although I breastfed all of mine ( and one of them for too long , based on popular decision )
But it was a la leche nurse who helped me out of a bad situation when I had a yeast infection in my breast , making it very painful to feed my baby. If it wasn’t for her, I may have given up…and the doctors ( all male ) had no clue how to deal with it.
On that note, I didn’t realize in Canada it was illegal to smoke in the car with children under a certain age (maybe 15? I Can’t remember off the top of my head.)
That should be the law here, too (though I really can’t imagine it passing in my state).
Regarding breastfeeding - I’d encourage people to start off - first for the colostrum benefit of the first few days, but also assuming all goes well - it’s a wonderful feeling. All kinds of yummy endorphins.
Yes, Marian…it was a comfort thing, not for nutrition at that point. It was akin to thumb sucking or a pacifier. It was only at bedtime and it wasn’t really out there in a public way in a way that would put me in the mommy wars limelight
Hmmm, never asked my kids if they remember breastfeeding. It was a relaxing experience and honestly quite for me, H and the kids – easier than looking around for bottles and other gear. I thought that was the best part, especially when we traveled and didn’t have to worry about bringing lots of extra gear, sterilizing, etc. We did buy bottles of varying kinds and nipples and the kids absolutely rejected all of it.
@lje62 - yes, my reply was in response to your story. I absolutely believe you, and it’s unfortunate that you ran into a group of women like that because that was not my experience at all. What I remember so vividly all these years later is how many of our meetings ran over time because there was so much to talk about in regards to breastfeeding - moms were there to get their questions answered, or to support the moms who were there - there just wasn’t time to sit around and talk about what bottle-feeding parents were doing.
A nice little aside and claim to fame with the group I was a leader with - it was started by one of the seven founding mothers of LLL. I met her once and she signed a copy of one of my books. Lovely lady.
Hmmm, never asked my kids if they remember breastfeeding. It was a relaxing experience and honestly quite for me, H and the kids -- easier than looking around for bottles and other gear. I thought that was the best part, especially when we traveled and didn't have to worry about bringing lots of extra gear, sterilizing, etc. We did buy bottles of varying kinds and nipples and the kids absolutely rejected all of it.
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I highly doubt that my boys remember nursing. S1 was 14 months when he quit. S2 was a little younger. However, when nursing S2, S1 was two years old. Early on, S1 looked longingly as I fed S2. I asked S2 if he wanted to nurse and he nodded his head. lol…he put his mouth on the side of my breast for couple of seconds (more like a kiss…lol) and then probably thought “what the heck? this is no big deal!” and then sat back down.
I asked D yesterday and she said, “No, had no memory of breastfeeding,” but she said she did have memories of moving to our house when sh was two years old. She stopped nursing at 18 months. S has very few memories before he turned 4 years old. D has memories much younger than S.
I recently discussed this with someone who works in a hospital where almost no new moms breast feed. For the most part, it serves a very low-income demographic. My source has a very different “take” on this than teriwtt does.
My source initially believed in the “breast is better” approach, but now is less enthused. Despite a lot of effort by the hospital staff to “push” breast feeding, only a very small percentage of moms do…as in below 5%. Thing is…my source said the emphasis on breast feeding means that there’s a lot less focus on telling new moms who formula feed NOT to dilute formula and NOT to add sugary cereals, etc. to the bottle before they leave the hospital with the baby. Policy is that staff shouldn’t say the word formula at all, unless mom has special circumstances like a masectomy.
My source points out that–while correlation doesn’t mean causation–the mother’s level of academic achievement correlates quite highly IN THE AGGREGATE with breast feeding. Moms who are college grads are MUCH more likely to breast feed than are moms who never finished high school and especially moms who are functionally illiterate. Your typical welfare mom is not going to show up to a LaLeche League meeting.
So, my source is now a lot less enthused about the “breast is best” campaign and thinks that in poor communities it may actually be doing more harm than good.
I breastfed but feel it is up to individual preference. Had major issues with the first - he was vomiting blood and the company doc (we were living in Egypt) freaked out and sent us to the hospital. They kept him in 2 days and were asking if there was something sharp in the crib of our 6 week old. Flew back to England and went to a hospital where they said “nothing wrong with baby, you’re the problem. You have cracked nipples and when he’s nursing he’s drinking blood”. They were right. Ended up with mastitis which was not fun (ALWAYS remember my FIL’s surprised comment “I thought only cows got that”). Discovered doctors ars woefully undereducated on breast feeding issues. One here in the US even suggested I may have breast cancer because he couldn’t think why my nipples would have bled. Once I was all better, baby was used to the bottle and had no interest in breast feeding. No problems with baby #2.
As far as how long is too long. When your child starts pulling up your shirt in public and saying “titty mommy, titty”, you’ve breastfed too long. I’m a supporter of breastfeeding for those who want to, but my eyes did pop out of my head a little when a new acquaintance’s child did that.
LOL. Mine would say, “Nurse peas, Mommy” She was an early talker and nursed until almost two years old. In fact, I only stopped nursing her because a medication I needed to take could be transmitted in breast milk. I haven’t heard much here about the pleasures of nursing! Except for the first weeks, when sore nipples can be quite painful and a few bouts of thrush/yeast, nursing feels good. It releases hormones that help you feel relaxed and loving and content… kind of like a cow at milking time! I found nursing to be super convenient, super cheap, super portable and it allowed me to eat whatever I wanted and still get back to my prepregnancy weight fast. Ice cream, yum.
With DS, unfortunately, he was in daycare at 3 months (parttime) and he ended up loving the bottle so much that we phased out breastfeeding by 9 months. I say “unfortunately” because I am still not sure that we did the right thing by feeding him soy formula. I think there is some evidence that the soy formulas back 25 years-ago were lacking some crucial elements- and nowdays I am leary of soy. I believe it would have been better to completely breast feed him or to use a milk-based formula. Still, for all that, he’s a great strapping man now, so it didn’t stunt his growth.
