Moms, I need your help

<p>My mother and I never had a good relationship and we argued a lot. I just want you to give me some opinion because I think I might have lost it today. We got into a really big fight. I asked her (nicely) to cosign with me for a loan but since I knew that her income is not that much so I left her room to say no. That was all I ask so she could have said yes or no, but she started to sit me down and started talking about all those things years ago.</p>

<p>She kept asking why I hate her so much. I said I don't hate her but she keep pushing it with tears so I bursted. I said well starting off, I am sorry that you(mom) think that I enjoy hating my own mother. Second I told her that knew how she been going around and told people I know about my own flaws that I don't want them to know about. I had a best guy friend who used to come over and he was the only friend I had during high school, somehow my mom told my family that she think that we are gay, words got to his ear and he never visit me again, so I had no friend. Her friend came over got drunk and hit me, I was gonna call the cop but she wouldn't let me and I don't know how with friends like that she have problem with me having friends. And my own sexuality is not her business either, I am not seeking for any acceptance or anything.</p>

<p>She told people that she the unluckiest person in the world. I told her you have a new car, food to eat, roof over your head, diamonds to wear why you think are unlucky. She and my dad together work 20 years to buy a house in the end when they divorced, she took the house, all her kids except me to come to America. My dad agreed to let her have the house in condition she will send home money to take care of me. She did, but when I came over to America 13 years later, she cannot stop saying how she care and even show me the receipts of all the money she sent (total over 13 years probably <$5000). I told her why she said she is the unluckiest person when my own dad is alone, no house, no money, live in Vietnam with a heart disease waiting to take his life.</p>

<p>She said why I am so cold and have no love, I told her well I didn't really grow up in the most peaceful part of the town, I was hungry, I was homeless, I was raped, I was physically abused, of course I'm not the most pleasant person to be around but do forgive me, I'm working on it.</p>

<p>Sorry that I ramble but I just want opinion if I was being too emotional from all the things I tried to oppressed over these years. I just want opinion from parents because after all I am just another 18 years old who doesn't get along with his mom.</p>

<p>I am not a psychologist/psychiatrist but I am a mom. And a daughter. And I would feel terrible guilt for leaving my child behind as a mom. As a daughter, I would feel abandoned if I was the only child left behind in a divorce. My guess is that both of you have those feelings (or something similar), and both of you have them for very real reasons.
Are you wrong for telling your mom how you feel? No. But maybe you could use some assistance with working through the feelings and learning how to either have an adult relationship with your mom, or co-existing with her without it taking a toll on you.</p>

<p>Well luckily I don't live with her anymore. I moved 4 hours away to go to college (which she questioned why I wanted to go so far). I'm only home visiting for winter break, but I guess 1 month was too long. I didn't want to get into a fight but I guess I did and I felt bad, but I already seen this day coming years ago when I finally exploded.</p>