I like a lot of the suggestions already given. When I was reading the description, the first school that popped into my mind was U. of Rochester, which @DramaMama2021 also recommended.
Another school that could be worth investigating is Brandeis. I heard that they’re seeking ABET-accreditation for engineering, it’s very well-reputed for neuroscience, it has a lot of depth in its programming (for many, through a PhD) but with a relatively small undergraduate body of about 4k. It has easy access to Boston (and 8-15 direct flights a day to San Francisco), it seems like the kind of school that a nerdy/quirky person would love, and I feel as though I’ve heard good things about its music offerings. And there’s definitely a sizable Jewish population here, too. Plus there’s robust cross-registration opportunities… “Full-time undergraduate students may cross-register at Babson College, Bentley University, Wellesley College and Olin College of Engineering and as well as the undergraduate school of arts and sciences at Boston College, Boston University and Tufts University.” (source)
I’ll be back after I think about some other possibilities for your D.