<p>This is the big story here today.What are your thoughts? Should girls be banned from the junior prom if they don’t have a male date?</p>
<p>[No</a> beau, no go at junior prom - Staten Island Real-Time News - SILive.com](<a href=“http://www.silive.com/news/index.ssf/2008/05/no_beau_no_go_at_junior_prom.html]No”>No beau, no go at junior prom - silive.com)</p>
<p>It makes no sense to me.</p>
<p>The only “reason” I can see is to strike a blow against lesbian couples. But then why not demand it for the seniors, also? Does the school have a notorious pair of 16-yr-old lesbian activists coming up, one wonders? :)</p>
<p>Of course, since this is a girl’s school, if a lot of girls go without dates, the dancing scene could be rather limited…maybe they should invite stag boys from some male Catholic school…</p>
<p>I freely admit that I don’t get the whole prom scene. I’ve never been to one, and my kid chose not to go either.</p>
<p>I think that’s the reason, Consolation. The school has what I think is an undeserved reputation for having a large lesbian population.</p>
<p>Girls can dance with girls and frequently do. D’s prom was at an boarding arts academy where there was a shortage of males- especially straight males. No one had to go with a date, although some did (opposite sex or otherwise).
Where are the people who had such a fit over the pregnant high schoolers in the yearbook? They would have a hey-day with this one…</p>
<p>Whoa! Dateless girls dancing all by themselves would take away from the “formal” atmosphere? WTH? If this is such a huge issue, just cancel the stupid jr. prom tradition, but do not discriminate against girls who choose not to date, do not like guys, are lesbians, etc. Of course, it is a private school, and they can impose any rules they like, but that does not bode well for the school spirit and sisterhood among the students. Some girls boycott the dance, schools sees low attendance and cancels it, the ones who wanted to go and got their dresses get mad at the others, etc…</p>
<p>At my d’s prom, there were a number of dateless girls, and dateless guys. And guess what? The girls danced with each other anyway!</p>
<p>It is a private school. They can impose whatever rules they deem fit. Parents have the option to send their child somewhere else if they object strongly enough about school policy.</p>
<p>Must have been something going on that the school felt they could “quash” by requiring a date.</p>
<p>collegemom is right that a private school can do what they want. But this seems to be the opposite of our public school’s policy. Our hs prohibits anyone who doesn’t attend our school from attending any dance, except the prom. Anyone who brings an “outsider” to prom has to have the date and the date’s parents sign a contract regarding expected and acceptable behavior. The school’s thinking is that we have no “control” over kids who don’t attend our school, and thus no effective way to discipline them beyond removing them from the event they are attending. Our hs much prefers students to bring dates from within our student population, or to attend in a group of friends.</p>
<p>This LI girls’ school is REQUIRING the girls to bring someone who doesn’t attend their school. They’re opening themselves up for more problems, IMHO.</p>
<p>I saw that story on the news last night zoosermom. I guess I wasn’t paying close attention and didn’t realize the rule was for jr prom only. What I found interesting was that none of the girls would speak to the press because they were told not to by the school administrators. I couldn’t believe it. I did see the parents say that they did not support that rule.</p>
<p>A few important points:</p>
<ul>
<li>This is an all-girls HS.</li>
<li>This is a tiny school (~300 total)</li>
<li>This appears to be a Catholic school</li>
<li>The senior prom is one week later than junior prom.</li>
</ul>
<p>I also went to a Catholic girls HS (small, but not as small) and we had the same policy, though it did change very recently, so now girls can go “stag”. The other Catholic girls HS (smaller than mine) in our area had the same policy. At “date dances”, we could invite male dates from any other HS, but we had to submit their names, contact info, etc., as Lafalum describes. At “open dances”, attendance was open to all students (male and female) from the other Catholic schools in the city (there were four total…two all-girls, one all-boys, one co-ed), and typically, no guests were permitted.</p>
<ul>
<li><p>As mentioned in the article, requiring dates does boost attendance (and thus, presumably, ticket sales…who knows the finances involved in this event?).</p></li>
<li><p>Because the boys are coming in from other schools, there simply can’t be an “open door” policy. Lafalum, I’d say that in essence, this is very similar to your daughter’s school’s policy…not opposite at all. At a girls school, any male date will have to be an “outsider”, whether or not the school requires him to be there. I’m sure these girls will also have to submit names/permission/contracts/etc. for their dates.</p></li>
<li><p>Again…this is a Catholic school. The fact that this policy is unfair to same-sex couples is likely a non-issue in the eyes of those enacting it. It could be the motivating issue, but that’s certainly not clear. Unless same-sex couples are a pervasive “issue” at this school, my assumption is that the administration would simply turn a blind eye, but maybe that’s the wishful Californian in me.</p></li>
<li><p>A senior girl in the article is quoted as saying that she only found out about the policy that day, and she’s going to her prom the next day. So if the policy was indeed enacted at the last minute, it may simply have been too late to apply it to the senior prom (though IMO, one week’s notice also sounds too late to apply it to the junior event). Perhaps junior ticket sales were lagging and the event was going to be too much of a money-loser, so it’s a choice between requiring dates and canceling. Not enough info to say, but I can’t imagine other reasons that it would apply to juniors only.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>I don’t have strong feelings one way or the other, probably because this was always normal for me. People complained, but we understood the point. Interestingly, the policy was changed once my HS grew pretty dramatically in size, so I do wonder if finances/attendance played a more major role than the article suggests (if so, I don’t know why the school wouldn’t just say so, but in my mind, that’s kind of true in general here). </p>
<p>I noticed (by googling to make sure the school had a Catholic mission) that there’s also a St. Peter’s boys school in Staten Island which is part of the same parish. If the issue is financial/attendance, then in theory, the school could let girls come stag, let girls bring male dates from whatever school they chose, and invite the St. Peters boys to come stag, or throw a joint prom. Then again, Wikipedia suggests that St. Peters boys school is about 2.5x the size of St. Peter’s girls school, so maybe that’s not ideal, either. Who knows.</p>
<p>Bottom-line: I don’t think that this article gives enough info to really illuminate the situation. Maybe there’s something weird going on (plenty of evidence to believe so), but not necessarily. And I can guarantee that in at least one other part of the country, this–poor timing, aside–is totally normal.</p>
<p>Regarding the girls talking to the press, I will say that when it comes to religious schools, particularly if they’re directly affiliated with a diocese, there can be restrictions to freedom of speech, because to some degree, students are representatives of the church. Obviously I don’t know if that’s the issue here, but since the “What about same-sex couples?” question is such an obvious one, it seems possible</p>
<p>I am wondering if when girls dance together they are quite so graphic and lewd as some of the male/female couples?</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/509052-us-urban-hs-education-its-best.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/509052-us-urban-hs-education-its-best.html</a></p>
<p>“I noticed (by googling to make sure the school had a Catholic mission) that there’s also a St. Peter’s boys school in Staten Island which is part of the same parish. If the issue is financial/attendance, then in theory, the school could let girls come stag, let girls bring male dates from whatever school they chose, and invite the St. Peters boys to come stag, or throw a joint prom. Then again, Wikipedia suggests that St. Peters boys school is about 2.5x the size of St. Peter’s girls school, so maybe that’s not ideal, either. Who knows.”</p>
<p>The two schools dont’ mix. The boys’ school is very well-regarded and the girls’ school has had some unfortunate problems in recent years.</p>
<p>
Why? I fail to see any connection whatsoever.</p>
<p>It’s a private school & they are free to set whatever policy they choose. D attends an all-girl Catholic that draws girls from over 80 towns in two states. For her sophomore semi, she went stag because she didn’t want to baybysit a guy who would have known nobody but her. That’s the situation at these regional same sex schools – when it comes time for prom, the girls often ask friends from their home towns. At that semi, 25 kids (my D was the odd man out) piled into a Hummer limo & as they drove away, I realized I didn’t even know a single boy. Not a comforting feeling at all. </p>
<p>For Jr prom, the school told the girls they needed dates. D just asked a friend from the school musical, as all-girl schools always open the roles up to boys from other schools. She figured he knew enough of her friends & their dates through participation in the play that he wouldn’t be an albatross. Apparently, enough girls complained about the must-bring-a-date policy that it was changed. I’m sure there was a financial incentive for doing so.</p>
<p>She and the other girls did most of their dancing with eah other. That’s pretty typical at these events.</p>
<p>Obviously, this school is allowed to do whatever it wants. Parents & kids need to complain internally. </p>
<p>That won’t stop me from offering my opinion, though! 
I did not go to any homecoming dances or to prom, since in my day, one did not go stag. There were no rules about it; it just didn’t happen. My best friend suffers teasing to this day because her mom wouldn’t let her miss her prom & made her go with her cousin! I am so pleased that kids today don’t feel the need to miss out on the fun just because they don’t have a date. My D never had a date to any homecomings, nor did she have a date for junior or senior prom. She went with her friends, anyway. She was a bit disappointed about that fact for sr. prom, because she really did want a date … and she wasn’t going to go … but her friends talked her into it & she had a nice time. If she hadn’t gone to prom (or any of the other formal dances), she would have certainly lived a full & wonderful life just the same. But it was nice that she went & has nice memories of good times with great friends.</p>
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<p>Sorry to disappoint you momofwildchild, but like stickershock, I’m not having a “hey-day with this one”. I’m not sure why you would bring up this old thread, but just to be sure, is this the thread you’re referencing?</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/233247-high-school-yearbooks-questionable-content.html?highlight=yearbook[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/233247-high-school-yearbooks-questionable-content.html?highlight=yearbook</a></p>
<p>Also, I wouldn’t consider having an opinion on a topic as “having a fit”. Surely, with the number of arguments you’ve posted on cc, you wouldn’t consider having an opinion, even a strongly argued opinion, as “having a fit”.</p>
<p>On the topic of this thread:
I prefer the way my son’s public school handles prom, which is open to all juniors and seniors regardless of whether they bring a date or not, but because the school in question is a private school, they would have more latitude in making this kind of rule.</p>
<p>My son’s school permits only junior and seniors to buy tickets, but they can go stag, same sex, opposite sex, same school, other school. THough I did not see restrictions, many schools do have some. THey may not want older, younger kids at the prom. I don’t see a problem with requesting info on the date if they are from another school, and informing them in writing of the rules. It would be more unfair not to let them know what all of the rules are. This way there is no misunderstanding. Even though prom is out of school most of the time, it is a direct extension of a school, and its reputation is very much on the line with what goes on there.</p>
<p>Lots of all male/ all female schools here. Don’t know how they handle same sex couples or stag. It has become a hotbed for same sex issues, I know. Private schools have the right to make their own rules for these things and even more important things; something parents sign when enrolling their kids in such schools. Knowing that a school is catholic is a pretty big tip off that they are not going to be liberal about such things.</p>