MOre than 90% of Americans engage in premarital sex

Parent Cafe
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<p><a href=“actually,%20grandma%20apparently%20never%20even%20pretended%20otherwise;%20and%20she%20wasn’t%20allowed%20to%20graduate%20hs%20because%20of%20the%20pregnancy%20and%20subsequent%20marriage.”>quote=garland</a>

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<p>I’m very sorry your grandmother wasn’t allowed to graduate high school! I’m sure went on to have a very happy life, but that sure must have hurt. </p>

<p>My mom was born in 1918, and she would share many stories of life back in her day. Her graduating class of 20 some students refused to go to their graduation because an unmarried pregnant student was told not to attend the ceremony. The kids won, and the whole class graduated together.</p>

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<p>I think it’s funny that AF thinks he knows who has had sex based on the way girls dress.</p>

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<p>doesn’t 96% of Americans believe in God? but wait, 95% have premarital sex??? could the majority be, <em>gasp</em>, lying hypocrites???</p>

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<p>Not criticizing your decision at all but with all due respect, if you’ve never had it I don’t see how you can can call it highly over-rated.</p>

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<p>I read a statistic–can’t remember the exact numbers now, but it was to the effect that marriages end about as often now due to divorce as they used to end due to one of the partners dying. Women used to frequently die in childbirth, and people used to die of other diseases. They were right to grab their chance to marry and reproduce while they could. (Not always in that order;) )</p>

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<p>Love the anecdote about “bundling”. There was alot of that at the womens college I went to. ha ha.</p>

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<p>AFPrep850- you are obviously young, double your age and hopefully you will have changed and outgrown your current views on life and religion. Back when I was your age I shared many attitudes, I was so naive and hadn’t been exposed to so many good, but different ways of life. Sex is necessary for the future of the species and to continue a group’s way of life (those that have the most children have a larger voice in society) but “making love” is the best experience- it combines the physical with the mental/emotional. There are a lot of things you can live without and have a perfectly happy life, especially if you don’t know what you’re missing.</p>

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As someone who was raised in a very conservative, very religious, very authoritarian small town, I’d like to note that towns like that don’t necessarily have a lower percentage of kids having sex before marriage than other towns – they just have a higher percentage of kids who are really good about doing it while still keeping up their perfect angel images to the community and to their parents…</p>

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<p>Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, “I didn’t sleep with my wife until I got married, did you?” Leroy replied “I’m not sure, what was her maiden name?”</p>

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<p>Statistically, lots of us are having premarital sex while we’re married ('cause it’s likely we’ll get married again. ;))</p>

<p>“In colonial times, there was a practice known as bundling. People lived with their birth families until they were married, so dates conisted of aa guy calling on a girl at her house. In wintertime, it was often impractical for the guy to go home at night, so he stayed over.”</p>

<p>Actually, the Puritans pretty much REQUIRED premarital sex, and pregnancy. Pregnancy was a sign that the marriage should go on, as it was to be blessed by God. Roughly two-thirds of the Puritan women in New England were pregnant prior to marriage.</p>

<p>Great new book by Stephanie Coontz (who teaches at Evergreen, author of “The Way We Never Were” - on the American nostalgia trip): <a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Marriage-History-Obedience-Intimacy-Conquered/dp/067003407X/sr=8-3/qid=1167340958/ref=pd_bbs_3/103-7616674-8859004?ie=UTF8&s=books[/url]”>http://www.amazon.com/Marriage-History-Obedience-Intimacy-Conquered/dp/067003407X/sr=8-3/qid=1167340958/ref=pd_bbs_3/103-7616674-8859004?ie=UTF8&s=books&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>So was my granny.</p>

<p>So much for no pre-marital sex, even in the old days among families of high social status.</p>

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<p>In other news, sun rises in the East…</p>

<p>It’s a shame that in this country we need statistics to make us see the truth when common sense should do, and an even greater shame that some of us want to cling to our denial even when common sense AND social science agree (I’m looking at you, Concerned Women for America).</p>

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<p>Woody Allen: “Sex without love is an empty experience…but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.”</p>

<p>I find it hard to believe that there is much debate about this in American society still, a society of Britney Spears who for a long time claimed she was chaste while nearly simultaneously appearing in videos that seemed more like a porn group sex scene. We program our hypocrisy from a very early age. Rather like the sexy cheerleader from the film American Beauty who boasted loudly about sleeping around and then who, we find out when she has a chance to have sex, is a virgin.</p>

<p>Sex happens. Some people really like it – many in the context of love and marriage, some 'cause it’s a wonderful experience in and of itself for them and doesn’t need to involve even love necessarily (though in my opinion love makes it much, much better). It can be a strong force for good (and for bad) in a life, so the best way to approach is not to pretend it doesn’t exist, but to find its proper place in life. Trying to repress the urge for it totally can, just as giving into it too readily and making it too much part of one’s existence, can cause real unhappiness.</p>

<p>People who have never had it shouldn’t talk to us about being fine with never having had it, because with all due respect they have no idea. But neither should they feel ashamed that they are waiting for the right moment, 'cause their lives could be immeasurably happier if they find the right person for them and never have to wonder if the grass is greener.</p>

<p>On the other hand, for those waiting, things could change for you and you might find yourself really satisfied with having a sexual relationship with someone you don’t end up marrying.</p>

<p>Those who have the occasional drunken or sober one night stands should respect the ones they ended up in the sack with, not call them dirty and promiscuous afterwards. Americans do this, but Europeans know to treat the other person with friendship and respect – oh and confidentiality too.</p>

<p>Those who have had premarital sex should stop with any hypocrisy they might have about it.</p>

<p>Those with excessive interest in the topic, such as those who take time to post a long response about this topic on College Confidential, should find something better to do with their time.</p>

<p>Uh, oh, that would be me…</p>

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<p>Oh, and I totally agree with Hanna’s post by the way.</p>

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<p>“Those who have had premarital sex should stop with any hypocrisy they might have about it.”</p>

<p>I had premarital sex. I liked it every time. I was protected, as were my partners. I learned from the experiences. It was never an “empty” experience. I wouldn’t wish either of my kids to be virgins at the time of their marriages, but that’s totally up to them.</p>

<p>We teach them my wife’s rule: you are ready to have sex when you can discuss safe sex with your potential partner without giggling. (That rules out lots of married people in their 40s.)</p>

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<p>To mini: good rule.</p>