<p>My grandmother died in childbirth when my mother was born. 85 years later she still feels the effect of growing up without a mother. She would have turned me into social services if she thought I was going to try to have a baby at home alone.</p>
<p>In a related note, when I had both my kids there were two hospitals in town, but only one had a neo-nate unit. I cannot count the number of women I knew who went to the hospital without the neo-nate unit because “they have such cute birthing suites”. A good number of them ended up in one hospital with their baby across town in the neo-nate unit. I never understood that mentality either.</p>
<p>I’m all for women taking control of their births and their pregnancies, but to give birth without the assistance of someone trained and knowledgeable about what to do if there is a problem is not smart. </p>
<p>Both of my children were born in a hospital with the assistance of a nurse midwife that was part of a OB practice. I delivered the oldest without an epidural or drugs. It was painful, but a relatively short labor and delivery. Truthfully if I had waited any longer to leave my job that day she might have been born on one of the tollways surrounding Chicago on that busy Friday afternoon. The second labor was similar to the first in terms of time and the lack of an epidural. It was after 3 hours of pushing with no progress, and a baby that seemed to be in distress, that the doctor was called in and decided to do an emergency C section. I received drugs then. He was born with the cord around his neck several times. I try not to think about what might have happened if I had not been in the hospital or had not agreed to the C section. I did feel bad for about 2 weeks that I wasn’t able to deliver him naturally. That’s when a friend’s baby was still born at nine months with the cord around her neck several times. I never felt guilty about the c section again. </p>
<p>It’s a shame the first parenting decision these people make for their baby may end up being the last.</p>
<p>No TESTING, either? Good grief. Several months before I got engaged, I got tested for the cystic fibrosis carrier gene because my now-husband’s cousin has CF and we wanted to know beforehand-- I had good insurance through my employer, and he had student insurance at the time. (I’m negative, thank heavens…)</p>
<p>And in this day and age… if I don’t have an ultrasound photo to put as my Facebook profile picture, how will our friends know that my husband and I are going to have a baby? ;)</p>
<p>Anyone who thinks this is a good idea ought to hire a genealogist so they can see how many of their great (great-great, etc.) grandfathers had multiple wives. They’ll see entries like this:</p>
<p>Spouse #1 Jane Smith
b. 1/1 1764
d. 1/2/1785</p>
<p>unnamed baby Smith
b. 1/2/1785
d. 1/3/1785</p>
<p>Spouse #2
Mary Smith
b. 1/4/1768
d. 1/5 1787</p>
<p>unnamed baby Smith
b. 1/4/1768
d. 1/4/1768</p>
<p>Or instead they can walk through old church graveyards and look at the ages of the women who died in childbirth. Childbirth is one of the most dangerous activities our mothers, wives, and daughters do. To avoid help, even passive help, is far beyond foolish.</p>
<p>With her last baby, Sarah Palin ruptured membranes at 36 weeks in Texas and then boarded a plane from Texas to Alaska. She could easily have ended up delivering her high risk infant on board that plane. Not very good judgement.</p>
<p>hey teriwtt-
Please tell me that new mom didn’t really “choose” to have the baby on the plane?!?!? :eek: The article said the baby was a month premature. What are the rules these days about flying in late states of pregnancy? Didn’t that require a doctors note in the not-so-distant past?</p>
<p>I can’t imagine a) not having had an epidural or b) having a child without medical surpervision. I always said I wanted to enjoy childbirth- not suffer through it. Having an epidural allowed that. Oh, and we watched a baseball game and listened to jazz during the delivery of older s as well I did, however, have the bright idea that I wanted to avoid an episiotomy if possible. My Dr. was supportive, and it required, without being too graphic, some advanced planning/preparation with Vitamin E oil to soften the skin and increase stretching ability. Epic fail. I tore from stem to stern (and my s wasn’t all that big- 6#10 oz; but I am small too). Required stitches (more than the episitomy would have), sitting on donut ring pillows for several days after the delivery and use of Sitz baths. Did NOT try that brilliant idea with s#2. Nice clean episiotomy cut, small # of stitches. Enough said about that.</p>
<p>And I TOTALLY agree with the posters above who said it was risky enough having a child at 40- who needs to complicate matters with an unsupervised delivery and risk the lives of mom, baby and having to try to concieve again at that age. I didn’t read the whold article. Please tell me she isn’t also the one who had no prenatal care ?!?</p>
<p>After having c-section with D1, we decided to have c-section with D2. When my doctor asked me when it would be a good time to do it, my dad decided to do a whole Chinese calculation of when it would be the most optimal date/time to have D2. My doctor was very cooperative with it, even though he’s a Jewish doctor. As they were ready to roll me into the operating room(during that optimal time), there was an emergency c-section and my procedure was to be delayed. I was irrationally upset about the whole thing, crying hysterically. The doctor looked at me and said, “You just wait right here, I am going to see if this girl could be the luckiest girl ever born in this hospital.” Apparently, he ran to other floors to try to secure another operating room for me. D2 was born within the hour of when my dad said was the optimal time (sun, moon, stars all aligned at the right place).</p>
<p>Not sure if there is anything to the time when D2 was born, but she was a very happy, chubby baby/toddler.</p>
Can you explain how this is relevant, oldfort? Are you meaning that the delivery was scheduled with certain stars aligned or according to a Chinese custom, and that the Dr. understood, even though he was of a different culture?</p>
<p>Exactly. I am sure as a Jewish person he didn’t believe in any of those Chinese moon/stars stuff, but he was willing to go along with it. But he also believed not to ever argue with a pregnant woman.</p>
<p>great story oldfort - and what a great doctor!</p>
<p>I was open minded about going natural vs. epidural. Once I went into labor I quickly chose epidural, and good thing since labor was long and… laborious. Second baby was quick and painless - thanks again to epidural. </p>
<p>Now I think (privately, because it’s a private decision) that there is no way I’d opt going natural to have, say, an appendectomy. Ditto with childbirth.</p>
<p>With our first, we planned to have at a midwife staffed birthing center, but they referred me long before delivery to an Ob.</p>
<p>I was lucky that he was a very astute Dr. because when I felt that she had quit moving, instead of dismissing my concerns he whisked me into the hospital, checked her lungs by amino after a non- stress test, and transferred me to a hospital with a high level NICU, where they delivered her by section at 30 weeks.</p>
<p>It was very disappointing to not be able to have the baby at a birth center- but it would have been tragic if she had died because I had put my wishes first. ( It also was a PITA to express my milk for the months it took for her to be big and healthy enough to nurse, but it was the only " normal" thing I felt I could do)</p>
<p>For the 2nd, the neighborhood hospital, while good sized wouldn’t even take me, and I had to go back to the high risk university OBs. My baby this time however was a term VBAC ( which I hear they are discouraging now), but probably because of my bicornate uterus ( & previous section) labor was long, not very effective and very stressful. They probably should have done a section after I had been there for over a day, but because it was a teaching hospital, the shifts of Drs kept changing and mine wasn’t available. My daughter had aspirated meconium and they had to use high forceps to get her out- not the sort of scenario I would have hoped for.</p>
<p>Of course I haven 't even been “nominated” for the good mother award by MIL.
Not only did she tell me that " pregnancy doesn’t hurt" ( during my wedding reception when I was suffering a threatened 16 week miscarriage- I miscarried a day or so later), and when I was at inlaws house with my next pregnancy ( with oldest), and having contractions at 17 weeks ( I was then put on complete bedrest except for weekly progesterone shots, I freaked and made my husband get me a shot of whisky ( cause it relaxes smooth muscle), it worked but my mother in law still makes comments about " how I drink when I am pregnant".
Of course I also earned her scorn because I didn’t drive myself to the hospital which in labor as a co-worker did, amongst other things- but that seems really dangerous to me, unless it is the only option. ( Of course she * could * have just given birth in her bathroom, only armed with a pocket knife to cut the cord)</p>
<p>Son of Opie–St. John’s? (One of my kids was born there.)
Lol–I wish my kids would apologize to me. I usually tell them they should be giving ME presents on their birthdays.</p>
<p>With my first, it was 19 hrs of labor, and I was screaming at the delivery. The nurse kept saying, “Close your mouth and open your eyes!” over and over and I just kept screaming. Honestly, I didn’t want to look at that baby once he was out–he’d caused me so much pain!
(Why epidurals are good for bonding–they let mom focus on baby, not on her own pain. . .)</p>
<p>Won’t go into detail, but had 1st with epidural, 2nd without - NOT by choice - baby was in distress and there was NO TIME - and let me tell you, with #3 I’d have had them insert the epidural in in the 7th month if they’d have let me.</p>
<p>Obviously I never gave birth myself (and, unlike many women in my position, have never suffered particularly from pregnancy or childbirth envy. To me, what happens after a child is born is what really counts in being a parent, and I will never believe that I bonded with my son any less, or that we love each other any less, than would be the case for anyone who did give birth to their child.)</p>
<p>And I do know that he would either have not survived, or would have been severely brain-damaged, if he hadn’t been born in a hospital or without medical care. I still remember vividly sitting there with my ex watching the fetal monitor, and seeing the heartbeat rate suddenly drop precipitously, and running out in the hall to grab the resident (who was chatting with some nurses), and how all sorts of shouting and activity immediately commenced (as if it had been an E.R. episode), followed by an emergency C-section. I’ve never been so scared in my life; it turned out that he had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and was being strangled. It wasn’t easy to go out to the waiting room and tell my ex’s parents what was happening.</p>
<p>And I’ve never been happier than when they called me into the operating room as they were taking him out, and they took his apgar score and told me he was OK, and my ex was OK, and they handed him to me and I held him in my arms for the first time. It still makes me tear up to think about. And I can’t even imagine anyone making the kind of decision that’s being discussed here, or playing percentages when it comes to something like this.</p>
<p>I did natural childbirth because I was more afraid of having a needle put in my spine than I was of the pain! I have a high pain threshold and was used to very, very painful cramps every month. So while labor was certainly much more intense, it wasn’t qualitatively different from the pain I’d been having since I was a teenager, and I knew how to deal with it. </p>
<p>H and I went to the classes, but they were way too touchy-feely for me. (The instructor suggested we visualize a beach. I get hot and sweaty and very uncomfortable at the beach!) When I was actually in labor I told H just to sit there, and if he said anything to me about how to breathe, I’d punch him. :)</p>
<p>Well, I think anyone who chooses to fly at 36 weeks is taking a risk of having a baby on a plane. I can’t help but wonder if the changes in cabin pressure can have an impact on the body that we aren’t particularly aware of (don’t they always talk about a drastic change in barometric pressure being correlated to women going in labor?). D1 was born at 37 weeks, and the doctors did not consider her premature, so flying at 36 weeks would make me very, very nervous, and if it were my daughter, I would shoot her. </p>
<p>I’ve read varying stories about this woman, one including the fact that she was giving the baby up for adoption. However, one article also states her husband and ‘other children’ were on the plane, too. Makes you wonder why they were flying.</p>
<p>I used to be a La Leche League leader, so I’ve been acquaintenances with many women who have had doctor-assisted or midwife-assisted home births. I don’t think most people realize how many other people out there have an outright fear of anything hospital related, and it’s not just pregnant women.</p>
I actually liked being in the hospital. I felt like I was being pampered. Staff would bring me my baby in the middle of the night for feeding. I didn’t have to get up. They also brought me something to drink and changed the babies diaper. I was served breakfast in bed. </p>
<p>Isn’t this what many wealthy people pay for?</p>
I did, however, have the bright idea that I wanted to avoid an episiotomy if possible. My Dr. was supportive, and it required, without being too graphic, some advanced planning/preparation with Vitamin E oil to soften the skin and increase stretching ability. Epic fail. I tore from stem to stern (and my s wasn’t all that big- 6#10 oz; but I am small too). Required stitches (more than the episitomy would have), sitting on donut ring pillows for several days after the delivery and use of Sitz baths. Did NOT try that brilliant idea with s#2. Nice clean episiotomy cut, small # of stitches. Enough said about that.</p>
My daughter had aspirated meconium and they had to use high forceps to get her out- not the sort of scenario I would have hoped for.</p>