More women choosing to give birth completely by themselves

Parent Cafe
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<p>Amen, frazzled. My mother’s a doctor and chose to deliver me at home, attended by an OB, with her 6-year-old and 9-year-old daughters in the room. The 6-year-old is now a professor of obstetrics at a major teaching hospital, and chose to have midwives attend the natural births of her two children.</p>

<p>It’s not just granola freaks who view the risk of unnecessary intervention as a serious matter. Responsible physicians (even OBs!) may make that choice, too. Avoiding prenatal care, of course, is insane and a totally different matter.</p>

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<p>Our elderly neighbor, mother of 5, talks about how when she went into labor her husband would drive her to the hospital and drop her off, saying “OK, I’ve got to go to work now to pay for them.” Her husband was a very involved dad and wonderful with children, which made this even funnier.</p>

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<p>Hey, it’s not superficial to like the birthing suites - and I did appreciate the decor - and the space! I was there when my friend gave birth in a teeny-tiny freezing cold delivery room, perched on a narrow high bed, then moved to another room. Me, I had a big wide King-size bed in a birthing suite, a kitchen down the hallway if I wanted a snack, and room for friends and family to hang out when I wanted them there. It was comfortable and safe and not scary feeling at all - so I could really let loose and have that baby. I would have totally clammed up (cervix locked tight :wink: ) in an operating room! So it’s not superficial to care about the decor or facilities… JMHO</p>

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<p>When our hospital redid their maternity ward into “birthing suites” I remarked that it looked nicer than my bedroom did.</p>

<p>Beautiful & comfy, but still the hospital paraphernalia was available behind a curtain, should it suddenly become necessary.</p>

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<p>My water broke in the middle of the night that a pretty severe cold front moved in. I was the first arrival that night and was assigned to one of the lovely birthing suites. Apparently the decrease in the barometric pressure had the same effect on a lot of pregnant women that night. By the time my daughter was born, women were going through labor on stretchers in the hallway. They actually ran out of epidural packs.</p>

<p>I was very happy to be in a lovely birthing room rather than on a stretcher in the hallway begging for an epidural, I can tell you that…</p>

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<p>My kids were delivered by midwives but in a hospital. I never had any drugs during labor. In 4 pregnancies I had two ultrasounds. Two total. One was at 41 weeks with my third which turned out to be completely inaccurate. It was Dec 30, I was due Dec 18 and the OB didn’t want to induce me. The “biophysical profile” showed I was 38 weeks and the baby was 7.5 lbs. My baby was born 4 days later, 9 lbs and overdue. She over 42 weeks. The morning I had her the midwife examined my belly and told me I had a 9 lb baby.
With my 4th I refused all ultrasounds - there was no point. I refused all pre-natal testing which was grossly inaccurate anyway.<br>
I also never had an episiotomy and never tore. My youngest was 9lb 13 oz. My midwife was pretty proud of herself.
I took my third baby home after 16 hours and my 4th at 20 hours - it was easier. The nurses kept asking me advice on breastfeeding. </p>

<p>Unfortunately, the profession of obstetrics has largely brought the trend of unassisted birth on themselves. Many Ob’s tend to brow beat women into tests and procedure they don’t want and don’t need. They see childbirth as a surgical event, not a natural event.
That said, to plan an unassisted birth is not wise. Women also need to have periodic prenatal checkups, at least to determine the baby is growing and the mom doesn’t have high blood pressure or gestational diabetes.</p>

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This is true but you don’t need to have an underwater birth to experience it.</p>

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<p>Unfortunately, we cannot all experience natural births. I went 42 weeks with both children. I had severe CPD, never dilated past 2 centimeters even after 16 hours of labor. Both babies were almost 10 pounds and C-sections were mandated. I’ve always felt I missed out on a wonderufl experience-the vaginal birth. Oh well, I got two healthy, beautiful babies nevertheless.</p>

<p>Years later, I had to have a series of pelvic scans. I was told that my pelvic outlet was so small, I couldn’t have vaginally delievered even a 5 or 6 lb. baby. That was a little bit of consolation-at least I knew I wasn’t one of those unnecessary C-sections. My insurance company required significant documentation of the necessity of a C-section or they wouldn’t pay, so I pretty much knew I had no choice, but for some reason, this confirmation made me feel a little better about it all…silly, I guess.</p>

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<p>I had my first before they got into decor and LDR rooms – very sterile and then the whole rushing down the hall at the last moment to the delivery room and the instruction that I should move from the gurney to the birth table, which seemed humanly impossible at that moment. I much preferred the LDR room where the bed changed during delievery to accommodate me – not the other way around. And I liked the decor. Everything was state of the art, but it felt nicer to be in a room that had a touch of warmth to it.</p>

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<p>My comment was about decor, not the concept of LDR rooms or amenities. Local hospitals were in competition for how nice their rooms were years ago- current ad campaigns center around the good, caring staff- a much better ad. </p>

<p>Please note everyone’s posted experience is anecdotal, not scientic proof of any method’s worth. Huge numbers of cases, with all sorts of variables, guide medical practice. It changes as we learn more, as well as society’s expectations change. I doubt the safety of home alone deliveries will ever trump that of a hospital. The inconveniences and mess of staying at home for me are too much in comparison to the hospital stay. More importantly, the risk of unpredictable catastrophe with possible horrendous outcomes is not worth it for home delivery.</p>

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<p>If I had opted for a home birth, we would have had a disaster on our hands. And prior to that, there would have been no reason to suspect any problems. That’s the thing that bothers me about home births…in L & D, when things go wrong, they can go very wrong very quickly. I just wasn’t willing to take that chance. In my case, it was the right decision. Others have had different experiences. They are blessed with great experiences. Of course, we’re not likely to hear from anyone who opted for a home birth and had a very bad outcome…</p>

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<p>We are all very fortunate we can come to this site with our college kid problems. </p>

<p>I have seen too many of the kids with the horrible problems that don’t even make it to special ed classes in my training and career. Most are not due to delivery problems, but there are those as well. Isn’t it amazing how right it all goes in the vast majority of cases when there are so many ways a single detail gone wrong before birth can have major consequences?</p>

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<p>And my comment on the decor was on women who chose the decor over hospital facilities. In our community the OB’s tell pregnant women all the time “I will deliver at either hospital, but if your baby needs to be in NICU the baby WILL be transfered to the appropriate hospital, but you will not.” And still women chose to give birth in the hospital with the cute birthing suites. The other hospital has LDR and NICU. I have known women who have gone through a rough labor in the cute birthing suite only to have the baby moved out to the other hospital. What could be more depressing; post labor, you are exhausted, sore and miserable and your baby is all the way across town. But at least the room has cute wallpaper.</p>

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<p>When I went into labor with D1, my doctor had 3 of his other patients in the hospital. A nurse told me it’s because it was full moon. She said they always needed full staff whenever there was full moon because of gravitational pull made women go into labor. Has anyone ever heard of such thing?</p>

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<p>I’ve heard of it, but from what I’ve read it’s a myth, not supported at all by the actual statistics (and there have been studies done).</p>

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<p>frazzled, I’m in complete agreement with both of your posts.</p>

<p>The reason I chose to have an attended home birth was because I hated the whole hospital experience of my first one. I suppose, especially after reading others’ experiences here, that I was lucky that both were fairly smooth labors without complications. But the hospital birth was so much more unpleasant than it had to be. It started with my OB jabbing at me during the initial exam when I showed up in labor. I swear he was trying to manually open up my cervix, there is no other explanation for it. It hurt like hell, and I’ve never had anyone do that to me before or since. I wasn’t allowed any water, only ice chips for something like 8 hours. (I was starving, and my H ate fried chicken in front of me.) When my baby was finally born, they whisked him away and I did not see him again for several hours. It was at midnight during the changing of the guards (nurses), and when I asked to see him, they told me they were too busy. When they finally brought him to me, they left him with me without any guidance as to the most basic tasks. Maybe they thought I knew how to do this? I had never changed a diaper before! The first time I tried clumsily, without wipes (they didn’t provide me with any), a nurse came storming in because my baby was crying and berated me. I had another nurse literally take him off my breast in the middle of feeding because it was the end of her shift. Another nurse told me to clean up my room. It went on and on like this for 4 days. </p>

<p>I realize this is nothing compared to all that can really go wrong during child birth. But it was enough for me to absolutely refuse to go to another hospital for childbirth. I wanted to be in control over those kinds of details. When my second was born, my baby stayed right next to me from the second of her birth, just where I wanted her. I realize that I was very fortunate that it was a smooth birth. The whole experience was exactly what I dreamt it could be, from the first to the last.</p>

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<p>H is an OB. No, there is no truth to this. It is an urban legend.</p>

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<p>Re: the full moon theory. I have also heard that more women give birth when the barometric pressure drops. Maybe it makes everything drop?</p>

<p>Most likely also an urban legend.</p>

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<p>My first birth was like watching the domino theory in action. Water kind of broke (there was a bit of seeping), cervix completely undilated. OB informed us that the baby must be born within 24 hours to avoid infection. Pitocin drip, necessitating a monitor. Three women laboring with sets of premature twins (full moon? Barometric drop? Something was going on), all of whom were on the “good” monitors. We had the iffy monitor, the one that required lying absolutely still to register anything. So: strong contractions, stubborn cervix, overworked staff, instructions to lie there and not move so that, when someone did have a moment to check the results, they’d have something to see. Four hour period during which our nurse was busy elsewhere and eventually had to be dragged in by husband, when she gasped “Oh my God, are you still on that thing?” </p>

<p>Shut off the drip, at which point labor was manageable; not good enough for the OB. Back on the drip, when I started begging for that epidural. No attending anesthesiologists around either (at a leading teaching hospital, so maybe they all had more compelling cases), but a resident came in and spent an hour - no lie - trying to hit the sweet spot in my back. Note to future mothers: sitting hunched over a cart while in active labor is not the recommended position. Husband and resident had words about resident’s competence; OB showed up to referee. And then - yay! In transition! Told that I couldn’t have the epidural because it was “too late.” Much begging from me. OB walked out; nurse cried with me. </p>

<p>Transition was an unhappy time. Off to the delivery room, where I started pushing but kid wasn’t cooperating. Forceps time! Ow. Fourth degree lacerations that made every nurse, resident, or attending doc who saw me over the next 3 days wince. I was told how lucky I was that my doctor was so accomplished with forceps, since any other doctor would have opted for a C-section. And while I’m grateful to have been spared surgery, I have to wonder how many of the complications I experienced were caused by routine interventions, beginning with the decision to use pitocin on an unripened cervix, or by simple neglect. And while I’d go through all that and more all over again to have a healthy child, I feel the hospital and medical staff should take responsibility when their decisions result in additional difficulties for the patient. </p>

<p>Second birth (in a hospital) was an amazing experience - 4 hours from first pang at home to birth; three pushes to produce my hyper-organized child (born on her due date with no fuss). I was toxemic and should have been closely monitored, but the nurse was busy elsewhere, the OB was asleep, and I was terrified to ask for medical help until absolutely necessary. (Call me selfish if you want - but re-read the first three paragraphs first.) Husband finally corralled nurse when I was ready to push - she was huffy that we’d gotten through the labor by ourselves and saw to it that the rest of my stay was unpleasant (mandatory separation from the baby for several hours so that I could be “observed”).</p>

<p>I couldn’t tell you what the color scheme was at the hospital-adjacent birthing center where #3 was born. But I had wonderful, attentive care. The hospital closed the center about 10 years ago because it didn’t produce enough income.</p>

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<p>It’s not an urban legend in the sense that it is a baseless conclusion. My experience noted in my previous post aroused my curiosity about whether or not a drop in barometric pressure causes amniotic sacs to rupture. I found that numerous studies have been done, but have generally been inconclusive. Some studies showed a definite link, while others showed no such effect between the two.</p>

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<p>Absolutely. In fact, in many instances, I would consider the interventions to be risky and mom- or doctor-centered and not necessarily in the best interest of the baby. In the US we use the most interventions, yet Canada, Europe, and Australia have the lowest maternal and infant mortality rates.</p>

<p>Bradley childbirth just made sense to me and to DH–as little drama as possible–so we went into both births armed with a birth plan that spelled out our ideal birth. DH knew that if the ideal was unattainable, all plans were off and the matter was in the hands of the doctor and staff at the hospital. This meant choosing a doctor (and partners) who was respectful of the plan was key. Ultimately, you do whatever it takes to have the desired outcome.</p>

<p>DD experienced a heart rate deceleration that mobilized one nurse to summon another who was to find the doctor; the first nurse barked orders to me to turn onto my knees while she shoved my shoulders to the mattress. Short minutes later the doctor appeared, DD’s heart rate was down, and I was declared ready to start pushing. I had gone from 5cm to 10cm dilated in a half hour, which was probably pretty stressful for DD. She was born shortly afterward after a total of 5 hours of labor, 3 of which was at the hospital. High apgar, all good.</p>

<p>With DS’s birth we had been advised to call the doctor and head for the hospital as soon as labor commenced, as my first childbirth experience portended a rapid second. We called, swung through a drive-thru for an egg mcmuffin and an orange juice (which, I realize, could be considered risky–but deal-with-able-- if anesthesia became necessary, but as a believer in the normalcy of childbirth I was fortifying for extreme exertion, not planning for disaster. When we told the L+D nurse of the food, she said, “we’ll be seeing that soon!” Nope. No problem.), and deposited DD at a friend’s (whose house was about a mile out of the way of the route to the hospital), then proceeded to the hospital. Upon examination, the doctor proclaimed, “Your at 8.5cm and can start pushing when you feel the urge. I see you don’t want an episiotomy; are you okay with tearing?” (He was my doctor’s partner–who I had met). I responded, “I am, but anything you can do to help me avoid that would be appreciated,” to which he retorted, " Firm, controlled pushing. Do what I tell you to do when I tell you to do it." The doctor did peroneal massage with oil, I did as I was told, and forty-five minutes later I gave birth to DS with no episiotomy and no tearing. High apgar, all good.</p>

<p>I join Mousegray and Missypie in the 11 pounder club. DD was 9-11 and DS was 11-9.</p>