<p>
Not to be morbid but I’d like the same thing to happen to me while I’m lying on a float in a calm, shallow, crystal-clear beach.</p>
<p>Poetgirl, have you seen Amour?
After I saw that, I had a talk with H- because right now our state only allows death with dignity if you still have cognition and are able to express yourself. Nothing if you aren’t able to make your wishes known. You also have to have a terminal disease and be expected to die anyway within six months. But if you are expected to live for 10 or 20 more years even if you are in excruciating pain, no one can technically help you. ( pain relief is strictly regulated and it doesn’t seem to help that much anyway)
Since Ive already had days and weeks in which I am in so much pain I don’t see how I can continue and I am only in my 50’s, it is pretty scary to think of years like this. I am glad that we don’t have any weapons in the house though. ( It is manageable now though, & I have finally decided to go ahead and have a knee replacement)</p>
<p>Except for that part , in some ways I am much healthier than my mother was at this age. I get regular exercise, and I have many interests, even though my genes don’t seem to be very longlived. My poor mom wasnt given a chance to explore her own interests because my siblings co opted her time for babysitting. ( she loved her grandchildren, but I think it is rude to be expected to be on call constantly)</p>
<p>My H will probably outlive me, both his parents are still living in their own home in their late 80’s. They have never exercised, except for short walks and they eat a midwestern diet. His dad did eventually give up smoking, although he wont ever give up liquor.</p>
<p>I want to die at the Gorge during a Pearl Jam concert. After Yellow Ledbetter.But not until I get a tambourine. ;)</p>
<p>Emeraldkity4, you remind me of my cousin with a form of md. I am sorry life has dealt you a weak hand. You are too young to be going thru what you go thru.</p>
<p>Whats scary is my youngest seems to be having the same problems at 22.
But we are paying attention to it and trying to find out the cause. ( we both have bone loss - I was surprised to learn my Dexa score was -2.7 but I was really upset to learn D is having trouble as well)</p>
<p>I wish House were a real physician. ( although a silent disorder probably wouldn’t be compelling enough)</p>
<p>Genetics are really interesting though. Why does my family have genetic high cholesterol?even though I am practically a vegetarian, and my H not only eats fast food breakfast & lunch everyday but he smokes! , and his cholesterol is about 100 pts lower than mine.
</p>
<p>We live on the right street though. We can not only walk to everything we would need if we had to ( hospital, grocery store, etc) but several people on our street have been able to stay in their homes by themselves until they were in their 90’s.
That would be wonderful.( well I don’t know if I want to live that long- but Id love to see what my gardens look like!)</p>
<p>How bad are things for your 22 year old?</p>
<p>Genetics is huge. My mom was born with great genetics and she is working hard to lessen the genetic effect. 
She is 5’3" and the weight of a football player.</p>
<p>My great uncle died at 109. He was playing doubles tennis and teaching at flagship U through his 90s. My folks are quite healthy in their 80s. I could live many more decades. H’s family tends not to live as long, but he doesn’t have my chronic health condition. He’s much older than I, so it should be interesting. </p>
<p>We both see our docs regularly. We have his federal health insurance for life. He also has Medicare A and B. I am glad he has a pension covering both of us for life. We have opted to not get long term care insurance but have assets that we can use as needed.</p>
<p>* How bad are things for your 22 year old?*</p>
<p>She is a runner, and was having similar problems with her patella ( Chondromalacia) that I was having. My naturopath gave her a test that measures calcium excretion and it was at levels that prompted the Dexa scan. I am not sure if she has osteopenia or osteoporosis, but in any case she is way too young to have either. </p>
<p>( as am I really- especially since I don’t have any risk factors except being female, petite & white. She at least is 5’8" and is in better shape than I have ever been- I don’t run- even though I was pretty active and outside everyday- she also has a pretty good diet, she is very interested in nutrition)</p>
<p>But then I worry about my oldest. She is 30, very petite, doesn’t eat as well as her sister and she doesn’t have medical insurance so I know her bone density has never been checked.
At least I don’t think she is double jointed. Both youngest and I have loose ligaments which is a big risk factor for osteoarthritis.</p>
<p>I would rather have a physical disease than something like Alzheimer’s however, although both my mother and my grandmother had TIAs during their last years. ( mini strokes which sometimes seems to resolve)
My Dad died from depression in his early 40’s, I only met his father once and not really sure what his mom died from ( she was elderly), but he has two half sisters that are still alive, and in pretty good shape.</p>
<p>Your daughter is 30 and doesn’t have medical insurance…Hmmmm…</p>
<p>My dad is 85. One of the happiest guys on earth. He has dementia. He is slowly turning into a plant. I know this is supposed to be a terrible thing to say, but when he doesn’t know who people are, I hope his body goes too. </p>
<p>When he dies, it will be weird. In some ways he loves me more than anybody else in the world. My oldest daughter is close. My wife gets too angry when I forget to take out the garbage. :)</p>
<p>Oldest has been working freelance since her getting her masters degree last year, & her current job is " temporary"( For less than one year)When I offered to help her find out what to do to get insurance, she refused and now she isn’t speaking to me at all.
She has health concerns, plus she rides her bike to work. I am terrified of her getting into an accident.</p>
<p>We plan to do whatever it takes to keep our D covered by health insurance after she ages off H’s policy at age 26. We kept S insured the 18 months around when he aged off H’s policy at 22 before the cap was moved to 26. We all have Pre-existing conditions and want no barriers to our kids getting healthcare as needed.</p>
<p>One of my kids can stay on my health insurance policy forever. That doesn’t mean it’s free. </p>
<p>Emeraldkity4, it is rough when a kid doesn’t talk to you.</p>
<p>HiMOM if your daughter is permanently disabled, and not able to support herself, she can be continued after age 26 on your insurance.</p>
<p>We have a healthy 25 year old who will be in grad school in a year or so. She will not be able to be kept on our family plan after age 26.</p>
<p>She is already getting mailings from the health insurance carriers in this state about individual plans. We will work with her to help her get a decent enough plan.</p>
<p>She will not be working at a job that has benefits while attending her grad program.</p>
<p>I agree that it is important, its difficult when they dont ask for or accept help.
She still talks to her dad, but I know if he pushed the issue ( or any issue) she would cut communication altogether.</p>
<p>Yea, at this point, D has NEVER been declared disabled, but she has never held a full-time job, at least largely due to her limited stamina which causes her to crash and burn badly and often. She has been able to attend CC and U, but had some Ws and Is because of the stamina issues. I guess we will have to start paperwork to document her disability, if we are going that route. Since she’s 23 and covered until she turns 26, we may wait a bit longer and see if the doctors can help her.</p>
<p>Thumper, it’s very likely that your daughter’s grad school will have a health plan that she will either be entitled to or be able to buy into for a reasonable price.</p>
<p>Be sure to check the terms of the policy in choosing. Some college policies have high deductibles and copays and spotty coverage. Be sure you know what your kid is getting for the price. Alumni associations may offer medical insurance–check it out and compare to get what your child needs.</p>
<p>I am not planning on going to the doctor like my parents do
They and many of their peers treat it almost like a hobby</p>
<p>The college policies we have seen are TERRIBLE with a capital T. We will buy her an individual policy.</p>
<p>My D also thought she’d get insurance through her grad school - and like you, thumper, we discovered it was very poor and quite expensive. She’s on my insurance, and will likely stay on it until the age of 26. (Thank you Obamacare.)</p>
<p>We are also grateful our kids can stay under H’s policy until age 26 thanks to Obamacare. We may look into alumni insurance when D ages out if she doesn’t have a full-time job. We will have to see how things evolve. One thing to also consider is how often the org changes insurers, as that increases the chances of gaps and hassles with new carriers.</p>