<p>This should be a fun discussion.</p>
<p><a href=“Colma Shopper Attacked After Telling Mom To Calm Down Child Throwing Tantrum - CBS San Francisco”>http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2014/11/06/colma-shopper-attacked-after-telling-mom-to-calm-down-child-throwing-tantrum-natalie-bree-hajek-richardson-nordstrom-rack-punched-assault/</a> </p>
<p>Obviously, there is no excuse for attacking people. But there’s also no excuse for telling strangers to go to hell, either. And I really don’t see the point of asking/telling a mother to how to handle a child. IMO, that’s a line you don’t cross until things are really serious – like if the child was damaging property or about to set itself on fire.</p>
<p>You don’t calm down a kid having a tantrum. You ignore them.</p>
<p>Telling somebody to calm down their kid, then telling them to go to hell, then acting surprised she got upset is kind of stupid. People should just mind their own business.</p>
<p>I mean, I don’t condone physically attacking someone, but it’s not like this woman attacked her “out of nowhere.”</p>
<p>Having raised three children, I understand how unpredictable and uncontrollable young children can sometimes be, so I sympathize with mothers of children having tantrums. However, I do think those in the immediate vicinity who are also forced to endure the experience appreciate a parent’s efforts to do something about it, and an apology to others when they can’t stop it. That is what I would do, and have done in similar situations.</p>
<p>The article reminds me of the time some parents parked their screaming, and I mean SCREAMING child in a stroller in a dining area of Disneyland where we were in the middle of a meal, and just let the child continue screaming while doing nothing. I nicely suggested that they take their child for a walk, but they ignored me. We had to collect up all of our meal components and move to another area in order to enjoy our meal.</p>
<p>I might ask the store clerk to calm the kids down if they really irritate the public, not just only me. And this is Nordstrom Rack selling old items, not normal high class Nordstrom.</p>
<p>I did give angry looks at many adults attending meetings with their ringing cellphone.</p>
<p>That is so crazy. When I see a child throwing a fit in the store, it makes me want to hug the mother. lol… The stuff mothers have to go through. The young lady got punched in the face not because she told the mother to calm her child down. She got punched for telling the mother to go to he$$.</p>
<p>I don’t condone violence, but if you provoke someone, be prepare…come what may. Well, in this case, I would have to say, go what may…3 front teeth. </p>
<p>I have found that if I come across a child throwing a tantrum that if I do something unexpected, blow a bubble, wink at them, or simply saying, “hey cutie!” etc, they are shocked out of their tantrum. The moms seem very appreciative that I “break the spell” that is going on. Since I’ve “been there” with my two boys, I always appreciated anything that would stop an outburst. My younger son was notorious for getting quite upset when I’d tell him “no” about some purchase request. He got immediately carried out of stores many, many times. (S2 was a horror from ages 2-4)</p>
<p>Well, if someone told me to calm down my tantrumming child, I would want to punch them in the face. I don’t suppose I’d actually do it, though.</p>
<p>“People” should understand that they do not have a right to not remove their screaming spawn from a public space where they are causing a disruption.</p>
<p>The reason we waited quite a few years to have children is that we did not until we knew that if we were out with our child, we would remove the child from the public place if it started acting up. Yes, we have left grocery stores, restaurants, when only one of us was out with our child or children. When both of us were out with our children, one would take the offender to the bathroom or to the car, bodily if necessary. And miss dinner. Or miss shopping. Our child, our responsibility to not make things extremely inconvenient or unsafe for others.</p>
<p>As for the OP story, telling someone to “go to hell” is not the way to make friends or impress upon parents that they should control their children. I’m reading “I got punched because I told someone I didn’t know to go to hell”. Hmmm. Life lesson learned.</p>
<p>As for hugging the mom, the poor mom, blah blah blah. Do you NOT think that parents who allow their children to have fits in public have a problem? How dare they, if they know the child is prone to tantrums, expose the rest of us, and our children by the way, to that? Okay, so maybe the woman was overworked, single parent, working five jobs, no babysitter, and so on. Lots of folks have problems, and they don’t put them on strangers.</p>
<p>Before you jump on me, my one child is autistic, and yes, for years we had to never take him to a grocery store or a restaurant, because he would often have a fit (thank goodness he doesn’t any more, he is a big boy now). He took out a counselor’s office once, threw everything on the desk onto the floor, flipped the chair (good idea to leave him alone, counselor). One time we did take him out to a restaurant, and he did act up, and I took him to the car and had to sit with him for the rest of the dinner. He just was not able to reset. I feel that as a parent, it is my job to control my children, or not take them to public places. I know many parents of autistic kids would be like “how dare you tell me where I can take my child!?!??!”. But just because you and your child have rights, doesn’t mean your rights can infringe on others’ rights.</p>
<p>As for talking to the mom at all, I wouldn’t. I didn’t even talk to the mom at Walmart, who told her daughter “I"m going to kill you” and she wasn’t joking (no offense to those who are overweight, but here was this 300 lb. woman staring down at a perhaps 30 pound toddler.) I wish she was in hearing of a police officer.</p>
<p>So - when to talk to a parent, or a child, you don’t know in a store: the only time I EVER do that is to avoid me seeing spilled brains on the ground, so when a child is standing in a cart and the parent is not looking, I will say in a nice voice “Be careful…” and try to say it loud enough for the parent to hear but not loud enough to scare the child. I have actually put my hand out and stopped a child from falling in such a predicament within the last year, and shockingly the woman turned around and thanked me, and made her child sit in the seat.</p>
<p>(one thing I have tried to do is make silly faces at a child having a fit - sometimes that works and you don’t have to say anything 
)</p>
<p>To be honest, in this particular situation, I would have changed lines to get away from that woman or next time bring my iPod to the store to drown out the riff raff.</p>
<p>My youngest threw tantrums and you could not pick her up. The embarrassment was awful. One time a man told me to get control of my child in the grocery store. Two older women, probably my age now, told him to be quiet “do you think she WANTs this?” I was so grateful to them. </p>
<p>@rhandco Yes, it’s true. When I see a child throwing a tantrum, I feel bad for the mother and I want to give mom a hug.
I just don’t see a child screaming and kicking. I see the frustration on the mother’s face and I can just imagine how bad she must be feeling having everyone stares at her like: “So what are you going to do about it?”
Depends on the situation, give it a few seconds, a few minutes, most parents will get their child under control. No need to add more frustration to the situation. </p>
<p>Someone is having a tantrum every single time I go to Target. I don’t expect the parents to cut their shopping trip short, though–I just get out as quickly as I can. Obviously, many of us have “been there” and sympathize with the parents.</p>
<p>In a weird way this story reminds me of the Michael Dunn case in Florida, in which the guy was annoyed by kids’ loud music in a car, confronted them, and shot one of them dead. I’m glad he was convicted. </p>
<p>With mine, it only happened a couple of times. But, she would squirm out of my arms if I tried to pick her up. I really actually couldn’t do anything about it. She only did it for a year, guess which one??? And then, never again.</p>
<p>Years ago, while attending a relative’s wedding reception, my 2 years old son thew a tantrum. He got on the floor and kicked and cried and began to take his tuxedo off (this kid didn’t like wearing clothes). I knew it was time to go. I picked him up and took him home. It all worked out fine because I didn’t want to be at the reception anyway.
lol
He was such a good kid. He read his mommy’s mind. lol</p>
<p>Young people and those without children don’t necessarily instinctively know that some tantrumming children cannot be stopped. If the child is small enough, they can be carried out. If not, it seems appropriate to me that the parent should at least acknowledge that her child is being extremely irritating to others. Just like if I threw up in a store. I couldn’t control it, but I sure as heck would apologize to those around me for doing it.</p>
<p>I was fortunate that none of the boys ever through tantrums in public. But I think if one would have, I would have physically grabbed them, left my cart if I was in a grocery store or left whatever store I was in and immediately removed them. I feel horrible for mothers who have kids that throw really bad tantrums but I have to admit I don’t understand how they can just ignore it and continue on without removing them from the situation sometimes those kids don’t stop even when they are being ignored. </p>
<p>I wouldn’t punch anyone, but been there done that for sure. </p>
<p>I like the suggestion that we bystanders do some small thing to help defuse the situation, whether it is making faces at the kid or telling mom it will get better. </p>
<p>Yes, we have been next to special needs kids who were disruptive. We are initially annoyed, but after a little watching and understanding, we can adapt. </p>
<p>That said, there were plenty of places we didn’t take our kids when they were young and unpredictable.</p>
<p>Exactly. But it’s not like the first time she did it I was prepared. After the second time, she wasn’t allowed to go. Until she asked and I could set the rules. </p>
<p>You can’t grab your kid like that and drag them out without yet somebody ELSE getting an opinion about THAT. </p>
<p>Again, we are just too up in each other’s business these days. </p>
<p>
THIS is a tantrum
<a href=“http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WTIMfDJDS6Q”>http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WTIMfDJDS6Q</a></p>
<p>hahaha!!! My kid was much younger. But that’s a good ad.</p>