I think the red dress would be great at a wedding in which the bridesmaids are wearing black.
The only thing that I would want to know is what the bride is thinking about in terms of flowers, colors of linens, etc. because that shade of red could easily clash with a lot of color schemes.
I think rust red is fine. It’s the issue of taking away attention from the bride-fire engine red does that. I tend to play it safe when I attend weddings, and I’ve been to enough of them that when someone wears something that’s not appropriate or wears something designed to pull attention from the bride, people do not like it and someone’s grandma is going to tell you in no uncertain terms what she thinks.
Mostly I see people wearing white and then saying “it’s champagne” or “it’s ivory”. (roll eyes). I saw one MOB wear bright white to her daughter’s wedding-I can’t even remember their names anymore, but I remember how hard she tried to make that day all about her instead of the bride.
And that’s my point-don’t pull attention from the bride. Bright red does that. Bright red form-fitting lace definitely does that.
This is obviously a matter of taste. The dress I linked is not remotely “form fitting” and there is nothing vavoom about it - this is a classic DVF wrap (she invented the wrap dress). The black underlay and tie are a nod to the bridesmaids’ black dresses, and as such, will make total sense to guests watching the wedding. Of course, you should try on any dress and make certain you feel comfortable and “yourself.”
There is definitely an “expected” MOB look - if you search for dresses, you’ll come up with lots of dowdy and matronly styles that many deem “appropriate,” but are not particularly flattering and may not be the look you want to convey. @MotherOfDragons posted several that are very typical.
Ok, I showed to to my husband and he said “you should get that, it’s sexy-looks like lingerie”.
I’m not saying it’s a bad dress (I like it for a different venue), what I’m saying (and I feel kinda like I’m beating a dead horse here) if you wear that dress you have to expect that some people are going to say things along those lines because it’s not a traditional MOB dress. And it’s not form fitting on her because she’s a beanpole. It’s going to be form fitting on normal people. It’s a stretch jersey dress: “A unique stretch lace that flatters the body.”
I didn’t think those other dresses were dowdy, I thought they were elegant. There’s an “expected” look because there are expected standards of dress and behavior at weddings. You don’t have to follow them, but it’s good to be aware of the potential consequences of blazing your own sartorial trail.
I would not think of a wrap dress as a “form fitting dress” at all! 
If bridesmaids are wearing LBDs… MOB and MOG can wear DVF! 
It’s truly fascinating to me that there are so many different opinions on what is appropriate (or even elegant). If OP likes the dress (and I don’t know that she does), I suggest she show it to her daughter and see what she thinks.
Also, the DVF dress will flatter many women of various body types and ages…the dresses @MotherOfDragons posted will age most women.
Fall jewel tones - think deep ruby and purples - my cousin’s daughter’s over the top wedding was amazing, but my cousin’s MOB dress was just so…conservative and matronly. Don’t go there!!!
When it’s the MOB wearing whatever it is, I hope everyone’s grandma is smart enough to keep her mouth shut. Think of the drama - your mom (or worse, MIL, or WORSE, either of the groom’s grandmas) giving you a tough time about what you’re wearing? The weddings I go to are generally not that exciting. Plus, when I’m the MOB, I like long dresses in navy (which are not that exciting, either).
“I’ve been to enough of them that when someone wears something that’s not appropriate or wears something designed to pull attention from the bride, people do not like it and someone’s grandma is going to tell you in no uncertain terms what she thinks.”
It seems to me that in that scenario, the grandma who comes up to you and tells you in no uncertain terms what she thinks is the one acting in poor taste.
I appreciate the old fashioned don’t wear white, black or red at weddings but that ship sailed at elegant weddings a looooong time ago. I’m not a huge fan of that particular red lace dress but it hardly falls under inappropriate IMO.
And everyone knows who the bride is. It’s not like people will be confused.
I think the Calista dress posted on the first page looks classy. I don’t think the DVF one does, IMO. Also, if the OP says she carries her little extra weight in her stomach is the black sash right at that point on her body the right way to go? Why draw attention to the “problem spot”?
I recommend going more for a rusty red the OP mentioned or more fall like tones then bright red.
My daughter is coming home this weekend, so I’ll ask her what she thinks. She’s no wallflower so I’m not too worried about overshadowing her. I am more concerned about clashing. Besides thinking bridesmaids in black and her in white, she had not picked out the main colors. I’ll make sure she does that before I buy a dress, but I do like the sites that have free shipping and returns.
I would bet flowers are going to be that fall jewel mum tones? I hope you shine!
Oh please. Do you really think whatever dress the MOB wears is going to overshadow the bride? WhT is she supposed to wear…beige or grey?
Weddings now…very different than back in the day. We just got back from a fabulous wedding…the MOG had a dress that was almost the same color as the bridesmaids. No one thought she was a bridesmaid.
If this OP looks good in red, and that style works for her…I say…go for it. Ditto any other color.
Heres another one that will probably suit you - even though sleeveless, this style will look very good with a shrug or bolero sweater. If they do fall flowers, magenta mums are very popular.
This is pretty, too…and would be a nice complement to the bridesmaid’s dresses:
This would look great with either dress:
This is just little over your budget:
This one as well:
@Gourmetmom, I really like the black and white one, and a GREAT price! @soozievt, I like the style of that dress but the color would not work on me with the ivory undertones.
Yes, that black & white dress is lovely and a very nice price. Many great options!
@walkinghome - L&T is running a FF sale; use code FRENDS to get extra 25% off.